Merry Christmas!

So I'm a little late here, but Merry Christmas to everyone, and hope everyone has a wonderful and safe silly season. :)

Christmas was a little bit down cast with the family this year (Australia = Christmas today). Not only do I have the Crohn's and various other crap (no pun intended), but my brother has disabilities. He's never had seizures before, but last night he had an ever so delightful one that saw two amazing paramedics arrive (seriously, angels, and I can't thank them enough) and cart him off to hospital in an ambulance. He did make it home a few hours later, and so Christmas did happen, it was just scary as shit when it happened (the noises would have been enough alone, not to mention afterwards he couldn't talk or move for a while and didn't remember any of it later) and no one really got much sleep last night as a result. Did discover however in the absence of a lovable human or a pet to curl up with a bawl and howl like a lost, scared child, a childhood teddy bear, a glass of wine and an amusing action flick (enter Mr and Mrs Smith) will suffice for comfort.

In the weight arena, I'm lighter than I was last Christmas which is bloody fantastic in my books (82.2 kilos!). Still a teeny bit of the Pred weight to go, and then I'm back to my old battle with the original weight issues. I'm so sad about the stretch marks that have been a consequence of the meds, particularly as there was no warning, but I suppose there's not a great deal I can do about them.

Last few days have been a bit icky with stomach pain and randomly running through the house trying to find an empty bathroom, which you would assume would be an easy task when there are three in the house. You assumed wrong. Most likely this is a result of going away from the low fructose diet. Been eating waaaaaaay more bread than usual, along with a gazillion other things (like my beloved onion). Looks like I need to watch what I eat. Again. Sigh.

Anyway. As mentioned above, hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas, and a safe and happy New Year (because if you know me, I'll forget to get my sorry white butt back on here before then! :P ).

The usual sort of spiel...

So me and my weight. How's it going? Glad you asked. :P Currently down to 83.2 kilos, which is what I weighed this time last year, before all this Crohn's stuff started (well, at least before I was diagnosed). I do have just under 3 kilos to go however to lose the Pred weight, but that'll come. Have vaguely been watching the story of the guy below, the fitness trainer who became obese and then attempted to lose the weight again to better understand his clients. It make me feel so much better that he struggled too.

http://www.news.com.au/national/paul-james-almost-back-to-his-original-weight/story-e6frfkvr-1225811164362

See? Even perfect people aren't so perfect!

Meanwhile, I've got the cranky pants on with the rhumy. Went and saw him nearly a week ago now, and he basically didn't listen to a word I said. Stuck with his usual story of heat, exercise and massage will fix it, gave me a shot in each shoulder and sent me on my merry way. Shots didn't work and I'm more than a little disgruntled about it. It would have been nice to be in less pain for Christmas and new year, but hey. Obviously that's not going to be the case.

The Crohn's is behaving itself, as best as Crohn's can behave, and the fructose stuff seems to be non existant (I had a self indulgent moment yesterday and had a few slices of garlic bread for lunch. No effects.).

Hold onto your hats ladies and gents, it's an update!

Wow it's been a while since I actually posted something worth writing about, huh?

Well. The old hag is behaving herself (fingers crossed, knocking on wood and praying to every God I believe in!) for now, which is lovely. Have even ventured into the dreaded fructose foods, and guess what? I survived. For now.

In the line of the weight, I yo-yo-ed (that really doesn't look right spelled like that, but it looks more right than any other way I try...) for a few weeks, but I'm down to 84.7 as of yesterday, which is nice. Lost more than 10 kilos (22 pounds), have 1.3 to go to what I was at the beginning of the year, but 4.4 to go until I reach my pre-Crohn's weight. Will be over the moon when I hit that.

And time for an arthritis update. Where I live has been hot. Very hot actually. And with it, the oh so delightful agony of arthritis. So much for using heat to get rid of it. Am saving up the pain, turning it into angry, and will deliver a dose of cranky-pants to the rhumy on Friday when I see him. In, of course, the most polite way posible. Just very fed up with doping myself to the eyeballs on Nurofen every day (which I'm not supposed to take because of the Ibuprofen), and still being in a rather high degree of pain (say 9/10 instead of 10/10). Needs fixing. Pronto.

Am trying to enjoy my time off work, and have just started redecorating my room. Been busy sanding some timber for some shelves today, and threw the first coat of paint on. Absolutely love the colour, and am so happy that it's come out exactly as on the sample chip. Second coat should go on tomorrow, and hopefully put them up in the next week or so. There's also curtains to be made (bought the fabric yesterday for somewhat of a bargain), but they'll have to wait until after Christmas before I can tackle them. Should also be enough to make a cushion cover or two out of the leftover fabric. Am really enjoying the prospect of my shoebox looking a little nicer. :)

Didn't end up making it to Sydney for the Gluten Free expo. If anyone who reads this did make it, could you let me know if it's worth going next year?

Umm...... Anyway, I think that's really it. Finally something to write about huh? Now off to clean the shoebox before it's time to put those shelves up.

Always look on the bright side of life (sing it with me!)

And now that I have that stuck in your head, on with a post! :D

So weight wise I had a bad week. In general I had a bad week. Ditched for reasons I can't fathom, sick, best mate moving to another state.... I put on half a kilo. Blergh. Must do better. Have gone back above the dreaded line I've been keeping under, and it'll take work to get back under it again.

In Crohn's news...... I'M OFF THE PRED!!!!!!!!! Dancing and jumping about like a five year old occurs! And about bloody time with that too. Took my last milligram of it yesterday, and I pity the poor fool who tries to put me back on it one day. Hopefully though if I ever need anything to stop the guts being stupid they'll have something else I can have instead. Still on the Salofalk for maintenance, but seeing as I can't really determine any side effects of that, I'm happy enough to stay on it for now.

Have been venturing into the realm of gluten free (as most gluten free stuff is wheat free, thus fructose free, thus my guts can deal with it) recently. Orgran (brand of food) is awesome, as is the Woolworths brand FreeFrom. FreeFrom have cake mixes and pizza base mixes, while Orgran just seems to have everything. :) Made a cake the other day, just to see how it came out, and really, it tasted damn similar to a cake I used to make from scratch, so not bad for a packet mix, and pretty darn good for gluten free. At some point, I promise, I will get photos of said cake and possibly other cooking ventures up here.

Am in quite a degree of pain right now, my gut is giving me hell. Went to an open day at a lapidary club (jewellry making and stone cutting/polishing type stuff), and they had a sausage sizzle. Stupid got a sausage sandwich. On bread. With onion. Stupid is currently paying for it, with what feels like my life (I will live, I assure you).

Have a job application in with a company only a street or two away (walking distance on a good day). It's for an office administrator. Half of me wants the job. Close to home, and even if I chose to move out soon it'll be an area I know. Half of me doesn't want it. That half is itching to move interstate (yes, same state as above mentioned friend). Have been wanting to go for a few years, now may well be my opportunity. *shrug* Will keep the world posted, though really, I'm sure my blatherings about moving and jobs are boring.....

Oh yeah, and I've been going to bed and waking up with rotten headaches the past few days. Aches and pains, and general illness means I'm a whingy whiney brat, but hey. I think we're all entitled to those days when we feel up to crap.

Slightly late weekly post.

So on Sunday (ignore that it's now Friday) I had my weight down to 86.4 kilos. Happy dance occured, though it was less than a kilo, so not quite as happy as previous weeks. Am considering with the weight loss buying some shorts or skirts. Yes, shock horror, I'm considering stuff that isn't ankle length and denim. Shoot me now. Summer is just around the corner and it's starting to get just a little bit warm.

Also dropped down to 1mg of Pred. 1mg!!! Just over a week and I'm off the stuff for good. *dances*

Have been boldly venturing out into the world of food again, with some successes and some failures (oh the pain!). Some foods (like onion) can be eaten in moderation, some foods (like bread) are more of an issue.

Mr Anonymous didn't work out. Sad at the time, not so sad now. *shrug* As they say, as one door closes, another one opens. Don't know who they are in this instance. Actually in any instance....

In news that is sad (at least to me), one of my catfish died yesterday. I got all three at the same time, they were the same size, and all equally cute, but I get the feeling this poor little one didn't get much food. The other two got a little bit territorial and unfortunately the only way to get any food to them without the garbage disposal units (aka goldfish) getting it was to dump it in the others' logs. Poor little thing.

Still hoping to get to Sydney for the Gluten Free Expo (http://www.glutenfreefoodshow.com.au/index.html - shameless advertising for something good), though I'll have to see how things are going closer to the date.

Hope eveyone is healthy and alive.

Still alive, I promise.

Skip an update, 'cause I forget my weight from the other week, and here's this one. 87.3 kilos, so yay!

Saw the dietician last Thursday, and all's going good. I'm allowed to start reintroducing foods as I see fit, I've just got to remember that fatty foods will make me fat again, etc, etc.

Went tenpin bowling on Friday arvo. Lost all three games, which was a little disappointing, though I think in the end I've still won. Lovely first date with a certain someone, so despite it taking a few days to get over the "Oh God there are muscles I haven't used in forever!" pain, I'm still grinning like a mad woman. Knowing that there's a second one lined up makes that grin even bigger.

Anyways. I'm off to brush the dust off the cross trainer and try to do something on that, I've not been able to make myself go near it the last few days so I've got some making up to do.

Updates and such

Oops, forgot my obligatory Sunday post. :D Made it back to the 80s! 89.9, so only just, but hey. It's getting somewhere. Happy dance happened.

Also forgot to make mention of when I dropped down to the 3mg of Pred. Drop down to 2mg this coming Sunday for a fortnight, then 1mg for another fortnight then I'm done! No Pred for Christmas!

My babies are sadly no longer babies. I believe the catfish are entering their teenage years- they're getting a little territorial over the logs in their tank. The logs however are serving their purpose in providing somewhere the catfish can eat without the goldfish getting to it. Fatty doesn't approve of this (only fish with a name, and it's by nature and name), and procedes to look like the fat kid chasing a hamburger through a one inch gap (only obviously the gap is smaller in comparison).

Still going well on the fructose free diet, but still disliking the dietician and what's coming across to me as either not paying attention to me or what she's been saying, or a lack of knowledge in general. *shrug*

Saw the GI yesterday, and he seems happy with how things are going, so I now don't have to see him until a few days before Christmas.

Sue Shepherd is a legend!!!

91 kilos! Yet another battle won, however minor it is. I don't enjoy the dizziness and the nausea from the lack of food, but it's worth it for this sort of weight loss. At this point I may still reach my goal by Christmas, which would just be amazing.

In other news, Dr Sue Shepherd is a legend. She's an Australian dietician who happens to have Coeliacs, and who happens to have written a few cook books as well as a guide to what to buy at the shops that's edible. Her books cater for Coeliacs, Fructose Malabsorption (smancy name for what I've supposedly got), IBS and various other bits and pieces. Seriously, books are fantastic, recipes great (see future posts for more! :D ) and just generally I feel so much better knowing that despite the two or three shelves of cookbooks I own now being practically useless for me, I have some now that I can use.

Anyone who is interested/can get there, there's a Gluten Free expo (also going over other things like the fructose stuff from what I can gather) on in Sydney in November on Saturday the 14th and Sunday the 15th, Sue Shepherd is also going to be there. I'm also under the impression that Tobie Puttock (chef who is awesome) will be there too, and both are giving presentations/demonstrations. Link for more info: http://www.glutenfreefoodshow.com.au/index.html

Crohn's wise, things have greatly improved since going on the low fructose diet. I hate not being able to have onion, and not being allowed to have fruit juice, but it is nice only having an episode or two every four or so days instead of many episodes every day. It might make things easier to work out when I'm flaring too, as opposed to pooping liquid all the time.

Thoroughly enjoying having time off from work. It's just nice waking up in the morning and knowing I don't have the stress of the daily drag in front of me, adding to my worries, and it really is nice to be able to go to sleep not worrying about what's left to do, and what needs doing when and blah blah blah..... *sigh* Just nice.

Anyway. I think I'm blogged out for now. More later though, with shiny pictures too!

Blah.

So I finished work on Wednesday. Already starting to feel more relaxed. Hoping now that I don't have work to contend with that I can get my life sorted and back on track. The people I worked with were all very generous, all chipped in and got me a $75 Borders voucher. They're awesome people.

I'm aiming to go to the beach at least twice a week (looking at Tuesdays and Thursdays for some sort of routine) to watch the sun come up and then walk the breakwall. Relaxing and exercising at the same time huh?

Also had a phone call from the dietician two days ago to move my appointment forward to yesterday. So I trudged along and saw her. I am now not allowed to touch wheat with a ten foot pole, same for fat and onion and most fruits. What the? No fruit when losing weight? Oh, and most definitely no fruit juice. I am however still allowed alcohol, and as much diet soft drink as I like. I don't get it, but I s'pose that's why she's the dietician and I'm not. See her again in a month to see how I'm going.

Umm..... Really I've got nothing. Pretty much the same really, whinging about everything. Still extremely tired.... Eh. Maybe more next time.

Random bits and pieces

Ha! 94.2 kilos! Take that old hag! I'm winning! Nyah! Ahem. Maturity? What's that? *whistles innocently* Still a long way from healthy, but I'll get there. Speaking of healthy (or lack thereof), have been utterly exhausted since last Sunday, so eight days now, and continually nauseous. Rather problematic. Difficult sometimes to work out which end to aim at the toilet. *shrug* Hopefully it'll blow over.

Caught up with a friend today and exchanged birthday presents (both of us ever so slightly late with that :D), along with our usual arm long list of health complaints (black market Bodies-R-Us coming to a shadowy alley near you!).

My hair is finally to about the length I'd wanted it cut to six months ago. Still cranky at the hairdresser who butchered it though.....

And it's so damn hot! Not fair when you've ballooned to the point where nothing apart from track pants and jumpers fit you.

The Time Traveler's Wife is an awesome book. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. Nicely written, nice story, original (in my opinion) idea.... Go read it!

Crohn's wise, I'm down to 4mg of Pred as of this morning, going down by 1mg per fortnight, theoretically only if I feel okay with it. Stuff that, I'm coming off that stuff no matter what. I will not stay on Pred.

Arthritis wise, apparently there's a pocket of fluid stuff between your joints and muscles, and apparently that pocket thing is screwy in my hips, thus continuing on to my knees and ankles. I do wish they'd make up their mind. Also, my knees are a little bit screwy in their own sense, ie they bend the wrong way as well as the right way. Only a little bit, but enough to be screwy. Don't need to see the rhumy again until December, which is nice, even if it is just to save me a bit of money.

Now pardon me while I go puke. :(

Well damn.

94.6 kilos. What the fuck?

Bought cross trainer. Used cross trainer. Used weights. Ate mostly sensibly (which is a change). What went wrong? :'(

Another tired post

Damn it's hard being selfish. I gave my two weeks notice about a few hours ago, and it's one of the hardest conscious decisions I've had to make in recent memory. But the decision needed making so it got made.

Went and saw the GI on Monday arvo. Also dropped down to 7.5mg of Pred on Monday morning, so haven't got far to go. Unfortunately my inflammatory markers are heading back up, and my iron's a bit low, so yeah. *sad face* I did mention that I really don't want to go back on the Pred as it does special things to me that I don't like, and the doctor agreed, so I suppose that's something. Also got a script for Imodium ($23 for 100 tablets as opposed to $15 for 12? I think yes!) with five repeats, and a referral for a dietitian, so hopefully I can start getting some help with shedding the Pred pounds.

Am heading to the shops this afternoon after work, hopefully with mum in tow, to have another look at a cross trainer, with the hopes of buying it. Get the fun of putting it together like a giant mechano set and then have the fun of playing with it. Yay! :)

Also, was bit naughty today and had one of the new McDonalds Grand Angus burgers, and damn it was good. Really nice sour dough, and the salad was yummy, but the meat was a little dry. I did however limit myself to just the burger, so was good in that regard.

Very tired right now. Had the whole insomnia gig again last night (bang on two o'clock too), and this morning's coffee's long worn off. Trying some Zero to get the caffeine into the veins again. Hopefully it'll work.

Here, have a blog.

Hmmm.... I shouldn't post when tired. *shrug* Eh. Anyway. Onwards to a logical post.

Weight this morning is 93.1. Weight is being lost, therefore I am currently winning. The old hag and the Pred are losing. That's all that's important there.

Plans mentioned yesterday involve cracking down on a few areas of my life. No really, I can. I can be hard on myself when I have to be, I just don't like it very much.

Weight needs to be cracked down on. I can't expect to balloon then still be healthy. I wasn't healthy before, and if I'm going to drop dead all of a sudden, I'm stuffed if it's going to be because I'm fat from the Pred. Weights, stepper, rower, cha-cha'ing. And when pay day rocks around I've got my eye on a cross trainer. Am storing the info in a spreadsheet and it automatically graphs it for me. Gotta make the pretty little line go downhill! :D Also tracking the exercise with it too. Will maybe try and rig it up so it tells me when I've done a certain amount of calories or something and that I deserve a book as a result. :)

Money is being tightened. Spare change goes in the beer fund jar (which when full gets taken to the bank and deposited again). Things get queried whether they are a necessity or a luxury. Sales are friends, but only if needed. Fish will be looked after, but no longer spoilt rotten.

Doing things for me now too. Stuff the rest of the world, I'm sure it's capable of looking after itself for a while, surely it doesn't need me to baby sit it. I'm tired of doing things just to keep the peace, despite being stressed and tired and utterly miserable as a result. If it only effects me, then it's my choice, damnit! Me! Me me me! Time to be selfish. If only for a little while.

Ahem. In other news, see the GI tomorrow. A week earlier than I was meant to (the receptionist gave me a date a week early and I've only picked up on it in the past few days), but need to talk to him anyway. Need to see if he can recommend a dietitian, and need to speak to him about the cramps in my legs/feet.

Planning, scheming, etc...

I seem to be spending a lot of my weekends of late away from home. Had a rather nice day today, spent about ten hours behind the wheel, went many places, fell in love with many places (Enter stage left Murrurundi and Quirindi). Feel much better for having the day away. My head's in a slighter better place, and an overall plan of action is taking place. Health, work, life.... All have plans now, just need kickstarting.

Exercise is happening. Have found a song on my playlist that is perfect for the weights, and I've found another one that can be cha-cha'd to. I've got my motivation, but because I'm still very self conscious I won't be sharing my plans for that, at least not for a while. But I'm working on that (the self consciousness that is), in yet another plan. Have also working out my fish stop staring at me when I respond with "Yes, mummy is fat, yes mummy is wobbling, and yes mummy is dancing". They quickly hide. :P But at least saying that lets me laugh at myself.

KFC sends the Crohn's to hell in a handbasket. Seriously, it is the devil if such a character exists. EVIL STUFF!!! Not good to get what I'll now label as KFC Pains when doing 100 clicks an hour and the sides of the road are gravel. Contained agony long enough to slow down to pull safely off the road then bite knuckles in pain for the next few minutes until it subsides. Seriously, it's not food, it's just the devil.

Anyhoo. I'm off to get my weekly dose of British drama (aka The Bill - best medicine I know!) then sleep.

Shakes and strawberries and fish, oh my!

Well damnit. Am attempting to lose the weight, as I've possibly made mention of a few times (or more than a few). Late December last year to Feb/March this year I was doing some shakes for breakkie and/or lunch. They were good, tasted nice, filled me up, started losing weight, yada yada yada.... (Celebrity Slim for anyone wondering) Sadly now, they're one of my biggest triggers for having a shitty day. Pun intended. So I have a drawer full of shakes that I pretty much can't use unless I want to dope myself up on Imodium (which is a God, all hail the mighty Imodium, bow down and offer your sacrifices...). Am exercising a bit though. And cutting back a lot on the junk food. Weights, crunches, and the stepper (could use a phone book, but have a smancy thing designed specifically for stepping on).....

Have discovered however that the old hag doesn't mind strawberries. Which is lovely, because I adore strawberries. Also have either tangerines or tangelos (bought them this morning, can't remember which they are) to try with it. Here's to hoping!

My little black moor has spots again, poor bugger. Meanwhile, he's proving himself to be the stubborn guts of the tank. I have different food for the catfish and the goldfish, so what does the black moor do? Eats the goldfish food, then hunts for the catfish food, finds it, and starts gorging himself on it, and ignoring me when I bash against the tank in an effort to get him to leave it alone. S'pose he takes after his owner a bit there... :)

My head's in an icky place lately. Home, work, being sick, just everything is getting on top of me. Trying to sort it out, currently failing epically.

Oh! Also! Do not try to beat up your work desk! Not only will it win that fight, but it will leave pretty colours on your knuckles. I may or may not know this from experience now... Colours include blue, black, purple and red. Still waiting for the yellow and green. :)

And I think I forgot to mention, finished the Twilight saga. Worth reading, even if it is just to laugh at the sparkly vampires. :D Gave it a five out of ten, mainly for the readability/page turner aspect of it. Good way to fill up your spare time for a few weeks.

Random update

So I forgot to update my weight thinger yesterday. Managed to gain weight (yet again)..... 93.6 kilos now. But seriously, how the feck? I've been eating healthier, and less, and I've been backing off the Pred (now down to 10mg, go me!), so how the hell did I gain weight? Okay, so the exercise just didn't happen, but considering the eating habits and such, I'd have thought I'd at least stay at the same weight. *sad face here*

Meanwhile, died my hair. Reddish brown. And then attempted to straighten it this morning before work but it was too hot (seriously, predicted 29 celcius today and it's still winter), so my hair being ever so agreeable has decided to start frizzing again. Stupid hair.

Went back up the Valley yesterday too. Not so much the pull at the heart strings, but did enjoy it, which indicates that the last time I mentioned it must have just been from not feeling well. Would still like to head up there one day, though I'd much prefer Queensland. Beautiful one day, perfect the next. Couldn't be truer. :)

Thinking of moving my "moving out by" date forward. By a year or two. Things work better between me and my family when there's quite a bit of space between us. Ie, me not being in the same house. Sad but true. And as I'd really much rather be on talking terms with them as opposed to changing my name so they can't find me, I think the sooner I go, the better. Though, it does put me in a slightly worse financial position. Bah humbug. Sanity is more important. Dog box of my own? Here I come! :) Besides, if it's just me, the place doesn't need to be huge, or perfect, it just needs to be mine.

Though, if I go ahead and look at moving out, I need a stable job. So jumping on the job search bandwagon huh? Shame. I like it here. Just don't want it to go under.

Hmmmstuff (I know, original, huh?)

So far today I'm going better. Head's in a better space, and my stomach and joints aren't bothering me quite so badly. Coffee is helping. :) I think I'd be dead without that. A glass of scotch and the fish work wonders too. And sleep. Can't forget sleep.

Am a bit worried about a bruise on my arm. See, it randomly appeared a few months ago now, about a centimetre in diameter. But I hadn't done anything to get a bruise, and it didn't hurt. It sort of faded, but never really went away. Yesterday I noticed that it's darker again, but it's grown and the edges are lighter than the middle. I've also noticed my arm dips in a bit where the bruise is. It's down near my wrist, and yet again I've done nothing to end up with a bruise, and it's not sore. Worried about it because it's just plain weird.

Weighty issues. Blergh. Those bright little notes that I stuck up on the wardrobe door? They've done nothing. So as of yesterday I've gone back to what I know might work. The "this is what I weigh, this is what I want to weigh, and this is my progress" stuff stuck up on the wall for all to see. I think I work better when the rest of the world can see it and I can't run away from it. So. I'll extend the world to include the Internet rather than just my bedroom.

- Currently I weight 92.8 kilos.
- Aiming to dispose of 22.8 kilos by 31 May 2010.
- Weigh ins to occur on Sundays and weight to be recorded.
- Fast food = never again. (At least, not in the forseeable future ;D )

On a slightly better path to getting my own place too. Found a bank paying much higher interest than I was getting, so set up an account and should have the money I need just that tad bit sooner. *does the happy dance*

And my blog wouldn't be my blog without an update on the fish. It appears that what I have read about the catfish is true. They do indeed like zucchini. And I do indeed spoil them. :D

PS- Still no kitten! :P

So yesterday was a day at home. I rang the doctor's surgery in the morning and whinged and whinged enough that they squeezed me in, despite having no appointments left. GP was in a friendly mood when I saw him, possibly because it was just after lunch, but whatever the reason, I'm not complaining. Talked to him about the arthritis, which the rhumy had just said in his letter was inflammatory arthritis, no name or anything. Intelligent idiot that I am though, I forgot to ask for pain killers. Did get a renewal for a script I needed, and got put on antibiotics for the cold with strict instructions to go back immediately if my cough turns into a chesty one. Incidentally, the antibiotics he put me on? They're the ones he put me on last time I was sick for ages. And the diarrhea never went away. And they diagnosed me with Crohn's. Also asked for sleeping tablets, and was given them (or at least the prescription, I had to pay for the meds) on the proviso that I don't take them every night and get myself hooked.

Otherwise yesterday was a typical sick day. Grumpy, tired, sore throat, blocked ears, headaches.... Yet it was actually a rather productive day. Finished reading Tandia by Bryce Courtenay, restarted my scarf (for the gazillionth time 'cause I keep stuffing it up) and got a bit of it done (before my elbow started complaining), played the ds for a while, watched some of my The Cook and The Chef dvds (note to self: must make the lamb and barley stew!), and started reading The Girl In Time Square by Paullina Simons.

Today I'm at work. I have trouble dealing with my family sometimes when I'm healthy, it's made all the more difficult when I'm not well. Don't get me wrong, most of the time we get along fine. Just sometimes they're, well.... Family. Still not anywhere near 100%, still stuffed up beautifully in the nose, ears are on holiday, head's aching a bit, throat has improved a bit but is still sore.... Bah to colds.

Changed the water for the fish today. Not even sure that it needed it, but they've had the same water nearly two weeks now, so I figure it can't hurt. Turned their water green again too. And managed to confuse them something wonderfully by giving them some new/different food. They're used to flakes, and I thought they might like some granules for a treat. You know, I think I'm actually growing quite fond of them, as opposed to just having them because they're the only animal I'm allowed to have. Particularly my little black one. He's cute. ^.^

Need to be harder on myself. I can manage this for maybe a day, and then I cave and break and end up with stuff from the vending machine, or fast food. Need to be hard! I am a rock! Can't break if I'm a rock. :D

Also worried slightly about the poop. Today I had the urgent "must go now" bit, and went and it was slimey. Like it was before the meds. So I don't know if it's the lack of Pred, something I've eaten or drank (I found guava juice. I love it lots.), or the antibiotics. *sigh* Why can't things just be simple for once? And particularly involving something as simple as wretched poo!

Also, I think I love these. They're amusing things that I've found at a few stores here recently, and I can't help but smile when I see them. Possibly the sick and twisted humour of a Crohnie, but hey. Sometimes, you've gotta laugh or you'll cry.

http://www.the-turds.co.uk/

*witty blog title goes here*

Was thinking about updating this yesterday but I had a wonderful temper and even the Internet didn't deserve to have that thrown at it.

Monday I set the new fish tank up at work. The fish (and the snail) seem to be thoroughly enjoying the extra room, the filter and the light. Mind, the water also went bright green when I added a multi cure thing to it. Sadly my little black moore has a white fungusy spot on his side, so I'm trying to get rid of it for him. Doesn't seem to be bothering him too much, but I figure he'd rather be healthy.
Was also right in the fact that I couldn't really move on Monday, though not quite in the way I expected. I could actually feel my arms, it was my upper back and shoulders that got angry at me about the boxing. Best way to shut that up? Do it again! :) Sore, but fun.

Yesterday I dropped the amount of Prednisone again. Down to 25mg a day, so I'm happy. Once I'm off it I swear I'm never going on it again. Evil stuff. Evil I tell you!
Was still a bit achey yesterday, but not as bad as Monday. Ended up in a right temper when I got home so beat the crap out of the Wii's boxing bag. Many times. It felt good. I'd get to the end of the thing and go "Am I calm yet?". If the answer was no, I continued beating things up. Focusing on the timing of things (perfect timing gets double points) takes my mind off things.

Funnily enough, I'm not sore today. Yay! One thing I want to say: coffee is a God. Really. Particularly nice, strong coffee. Wakes me up, takes away the hungry. Magic stuff.

Making a few decisions recently too.

Going to try drinking a bit less. Not that I drink excessively or anything, maybe three or four drinks a week, but it couldn't hurt to try a little bit less. Also going to just stick to cheap wine I think. Sadly, despite my love of Bundy, it's a little too expensive, even when it's on sale. Lucky I like wine. :)

Trying to cut my spending too. I have an annoying habit of trawling the shops in my spare time, and I haven't quite got the concept of "window shopping" worked out. Sadly am the "have money, will spend" type.
So. My saving money ideas involve:
- Staying the hell away from the shops. Unless of course I actually need something. And then it might just be safer to give someone the money and send them. No impulse buys that way.
- Bring lunch from home. And avoid the vending machine at work. This also works in with my losing weight plan because my lunch from home currently consists of shakes (yummy ones), and morning tea is a banana. The shakes work out at $3.50 each, and my parents buy the bananas, so it's a heck load cheaper than buying food every day.
- Exercising more. Again, works in with the weight loss stuff too, but I figure the more time I spend doing exercise, the less time I have to spend money. Also, walking can save on fuel money.
- Taking more photos. A/it's something to do, B/it's something I enjoy and need to spend more time doing, and C/it's again following the theory of the more time I spend doing that, the less time I have to spend money.

As mentioned above, am also attempting to shed the weight. Am eating less, and eating a bit better, and also working out a bit. Hopefully this will work. I'm being a bit harder on myself than usual too, and making myself do stuff when usually I'd go, nah, I'm too tired or too sore. The above mentioned boxing on the Wii seems to be maybe helping some of the joint issues, albeit only when I'm doing it, though it does seem to play up a bit with my right hip. Mind, it's always sore now, so it can't hurt to do it.

I'm looking at gaining my independence too in about six months, hence the mad saving and lack of spending. I'm tired of having to rely on everyone, and quite honestly I need my own space too. Things are starting to pick up a bit at work which is nice, and while family can be lovely, sometimes (a lot of the time) a little bit can go a veeeery long way. So, the caravan park/relocatable home place across the road from work is starting to look very tempting. Okay, so the places are small, and there'd be strata fees, but looking at it they're about the only downsides, if they can be called downsides.
The positives?
- Saving money on fuel (at least $20 per week) by walking out the driveway, across the road and into work's driveway.
- Strata covers grounds maintenance, pool, tennis court and I think bbq area and security shuttle bus. Therefore, I don't have to do a thing maintenance wise and yet get to use these things. Yay!
- Smallish two bedroom place means less cleaning than a large place.
- Smallish two bedroom place is still bigger than teeny tiny shoebox of a bedroom.
- Owning, not renting.
- Freedom/independence from family.
- Freedom/independence in general
- Able to fill the need to decorate a house. Seriously, I don't get clucky for babies, I get clucky for a house and decorating it.
- Neighbours being close enough (and possibly nosey enough :P) that if something goes wrong they'll hopefully notice and be able to help.
- Neighbours being close enough that jumpy old me will feel a bit more secure.

Okay, so there's bills and rates and such. I get that, I expect that. I'm allowing for that. I also know there are going to be days where I can't really do much because of the Crohn's or the arthritis. But you know what? That's why freezers, microwaves and cooking in advance were invented. And being so close to work I could possibly last longer on my bad days, knowing that I just have to waddle back across the road as opposed to trying to manage a car with bad joints, and also the traffic.

So um.... yeah. That's about all I had to blurt out, I think. Maybe....? :)

Oh! That's what else. Carrot cake? Doesn't go so good with the gut. :(

Weighty issues....

So I went to work on Friday. And I actually worked a bit extra too. Just some work for a customer that needs doing rather quickly so yeah. Extra time got done. Doesn't worry me, I offered to do it, and it'll make up maybe a little bit of the time I've had off with my hands. Also decided on Friday night that if I was well on Saturday I'd go for a drive (Dad wasn't feeling up to going to Sydney for the symposium).

Saturday I was woken up by a shite of a cramp in my right leg. Bitch! I need that leg for driving! Let it calm down, massaged it a bit, then crawled out of bed to see if I could walk. Walking was doable, so I packed me, the camera, the Imodium, and the two rolls of loo paper into the car and off I went. Stopped for breakfast and was about to go again when I got a phone call from a really good friend. Just to chat, but it was fantastic to hear from him. He has a bad habit of calling once I've already gone to bed, and my phone's usually on silent anyway. Set off again and started enjoying the day even more. That lasted maybe another hour until the cold symptoms kicked in (again!). They just won't go away. Kept going, and took one of my usual drives through the Hunter Valley.

I love that place. I was raised there. It's home. And there's usually a very strong pull at the heart strings to go there and stay there. It was missing yesterday. Something wasn't right. It was still a very pretty drive through the country (what I remember of it, I slipped into auto pilot because of the cold), but it didn't tug the heart strings, and that makes me a little sad. For years, despite not living there anymore, it's been the place I go to to think and to calm down when I'm stressed or angry or upset. And I always feel free and safe and welcome there. But I just wasn't getting that yesterday. It was just another place, with no meaning. I'm not so much sad that the feeling is gone, it's just I've always viewed myself as belonging there because of that feeling. With the feeling gone, I guess I don't really belong there anymore, which is fine, but what bugs me is where do I belong then? If I'm not still the country kid at heart, then who am I? I know I'm a little lost right now, but that's about it. Maybe I need to start creating the person I want to be. I dunno. Random thoughts that probably don't make sense. Eh.

I've thought recently that my stretch marks have been a little bit painful. Stinging, burning, that kinda thing. Last night I discovered that yes indeed they have been painful, and there's a reason. They're actually splitting open. Well, at least one has. Just a small split, but enough to bleed. I've fattened up at a rate where I am actually splitting my skin. Embarassing much? So the crash exercise/eating regime has begun (again. For the gazillionth time.) today. As a result, I got to weight myself on the Wii. When I first bought that, I entered that I wanted to lose 10 kilos. Instead I have managed to gain more than that. I'm now up to 91.5 kilos. A kilo a week gained. And it takes me a month to lose a kilo. I'm a year behind where I wanted to be. Actually, more than that, but hey. Hopefully if I hit things hard I can speed that up a bit. And coming off the Pred is now a big issue. I can't stay on a med that is essentially causing me to split myself at the seams. Glad in a way for that arthritis now.....

Today, woken up by fecking birds. They're the nuisance Minahs, and they insist on tapdancing on the tin roof under my window and squawking as loud as possible. Then they repeat the process on my window sill. Bastards. I needed sleep! Dragged out of bed, wandered around some shops, exercised on the Wii, wandered around some more shops and came home again in pain. The muscle in my leg that cramped yesterday is being a bitch and is all tight and sore. As a result it's making me walk funny, and thus my knees and hips have given out, and my back's following suit. And I can't really do much more in the intended line of exercise now either. :(

Am also tired as all buggery. Despite it only being 2:30 in the arvo, it feels like I should have been asleep for the past few hours. It really feels so much later. *sigh* And I have to drag out of bed for work in the morning. Bah. I just need a few days where I can sleep for as long as I need to, not how long is dictated by the alarm, or my screwed up body, or the damned birds! Never mind. Coffee is a god. :)

And now off to write pretty brightly coloured motivational signs telling me "Don't eat bad foods!" and "Don't give up now!". ........Yes, I seriously am going to do that. Splitting your skin is scary stuff people! It calls for drastic measures! :D