Have an update.

Oh wow, so last time I left you with me heading for Canberra.  Feels like forever ago.  Have a blog update!

Canberra.
I've been to Canberra once before.  It was when I was 11 or 12 and for a school camp, though camp's probably the wrong word seeing as there were no tents or wilderness involved.  So seeing as it was a good ten years ago or more, I barely remember any of it, so for me this time was fantastic.  Yay for exploring!  Got a satnav for Chrissy off the folks so wasn't worried about getting lost, which, looking back, it would have been somewhat hilarious really if I had of done.  The drive down was fantastic.  5 hours or so or freeways and highways and I found it to be a much nicer drive than the one I normally do when I head north.  Stopped in a small town called Berrima on the way.  Fantastic old town with old buildings.  I love old things and history so I was having a blast.  Had lunch at maccas in Goulbourn, and stuffed myself with Imodium (which I continued to live off for the next day or so).  I knew my grandmother had lived there when she was a little girl, so obviously my great grandmother had lived there too.  What I didn't realise and found out after I'd got home was that my great great grandmother had lived there, so probably about the time the town was founded (ie, a long long time ago).  Grandma remembers the street they lived in and apparently the old dairy is still out the back, so next time I'm down that way I might drive past for a squiz.  Can't resist personal history.  :)  Anyway, made Canberra and it started to pour rain.  Obviously does so a fair bit because it's a heck of a lot greener there than it is where I am.  Quite lovely.  Got to the War Memorial about 2:30/3ish and stayed until it closed.  Didn't get to see everything, though did get to see the bugler at the end of the day.  The memorial is quite close to my mate's place, so only took a few minutes, even in the 5 o'clock traffic to get there.  Thoroughly enjoyed the company of some lovely people and even managed a bit of sleep.

I had been meaning to stay until the Sunday, what with the housewarming being on the Saturday, however woke up in a fair degree of pain, both joints and stomach, and somewhat exhausted (when I'm not in my bed I toss and turn and wake up continually, so any sleep I get is very interrupted), so around lunchtime on Saturday I headed home.  Took a week for the pain to eventually settle down to normal, but it was really good to get down there.  Hoping next time I'll be a bit healthier and actually be able to stay long enough for a proper catch up.


Not Canberra.
Healthwise, I'm alive.  All the scary blood tests came back clear, which is fantastic, however I'm still exhausted, and have been getting horrid headaches for about 2 weeks now.  My doctor doesn't seem phased by either, though I would appreciate being able to wake up and have some energy and a head that doesn't hate me.  I'm also no longer seeing my rheumatologist.  I'm completely over having him change his diagnosis (now it's apparently inflamed bursae) based on stuff that's obviously only in his immagination because he sure as heck isn't doing any tests or anything.  Also fed up with having to hand over $115 every time I see him, only to be told to do the same things (which interestingly when you read about inflamed bursae, he's telling me to do the opposite to the standard treatments), when I'm unemployed and running very low on funds.  Obviously I need something done because I can't keep going on with my joints randomly spazzing out on me, so next time I see the GP I'll get him to refer me to someone else for a second opinion.  Maybe then I'll start getting some answers.  The psoraisis is also driving me stir crazy so I'm going to see if something can be done about that too.  Sorry if I sound whingey at all, I just need to vent a little.

Managed to make it to the Craft Fair again this year.  Almost regretted it entirely as it was the same as last year (too many stalls all crammed together, the same stalls as last year, very rude and pushy people (not the stall holders, they were good), and over the top prices.  Only thing that really made it worth it was the stall with the fake but brilliant Pandora beads.  I refuse to pay $100 per bead, so if I can get pretty things for a dollar, I'll pay it.  Bought $74 worth of stuff including beads and another bracelet, and got a discount so only paid $60.  Yes, I know, no job and I whinge about spending money, but it's pretty and makes me feel happy, and it can all be changed daily to go with whatever I'm wearing, so I figure it's fairly good value for money.

Have also cooked a few bits and pieces recently, so I'll throw so pics up when I find them again.  They like hiding on the computer.  :)  Oh!  And same applies to some little crochet amigurumi critters I've been making.  They keep me sane, and they're cute.  Photos to come soon.

Anyway, hope everyone is well.

Time for a quickie...

I'm alive!  Promise!  Just forgetting to blog/having nothing to really blog about.

Local time it's about 10pm, and I've gotta be up before 6 in the morning so I'll keep it brief and fill in the details some other time.  Also had a few wines, so if the spelling is off/I don't sound normal, that's my excuse.

Crohn's = not killing me, which I'm thankful for.
Fructose = causing problems when I don't avoid high doseages.  It's slightly less forgiving than before.
Arthritis/Arthralga/Joint Pain = Still there occasionally.  Enough to make me whinge and random enough to be annoying.
Chronic Fatigue = Flared with a vengeance.  Bring on the Red Bull!
Psoraisis = Flared under my arms and on my scalp so am occasionally itching in a monkey-like fashion.  I'm sure this appears odd though amusing to anyone watching.

Other news:
I have joined a gym, Curves to be precise.  Enjoying it, surprisingly, and after less than two weeks am already seeing benefits.
Will be in the nation's capital, Canberra, for the weekend.  Heading down for a housewarming, but also to have a look at some (what I would call) touristy places, moreso the Australian War Memorial, and Lake Burley Griffin.
Also finally finished a project yesterday that I've been working on for nearly 18 months.  No photos or descriptions as it is a present for some friends and they may read this before they get it.  Photos will ensue soon.

Hope everyone is well and that the old hag is behaving for you all.

Today's whinge brought to you by....

So I've taken myself off the ibuprofen for my joints in the hope that my stomach wouldn't get any worse.  Have spent today near doubled over in pain and with yellow liquid coming out my butt, along with barely being able to move from joint pain.  Oh, and did I mention I was tired?

Very entirely over chronic illness right now.  I mean heck, I was just starting to look for jobs again too, and now chances are that the GI will say he wants to shove things up my butt and then probably tell me he wants me back on the pred.  What a great way that'll be to start off a new job.

Apologies, I'm not exactly a happy camper.

Alive. Really, I am.

Firstly, hope everyone has been having a great 2010 so far.

Secondly, not dead. :D

Time for an update though. New years was spent at home. Tired, and had some sort of bug/virus thing which just wasn't nice. Think I was asleep by about 10 and woke up about 12:05 to fire crackers going off nearby. Five minutes late guys! Vaguely got over that virus and then felt like I had another coming on, though it's settled down.

Absolutely exhausted of late though, fairly certain it's the chronic fatigue flaring again. Seriously, settle most things down and one flares again. Not quite enough hands to keep pushing them down.

Also slightly worried about the Crohn's. My gut's been sore possibly since about Christmas, though I'm really not sure whether it's the old hag again, the remnants of the virus, or just because I've not really been following the fructose free diet. Also was told last time I saw the GI (brilliant timing with it being just three days before Christmas) that he's going to be testing me for diabetes (again), coeliacs, hepatitis a, b and c, lupus and various other chronic illnesses. This was after he told me "Your liver is looking better.", to which I squeaked "There was something wrong with my liver?". He'd been telling me my bloods were fine, even when I was asking about them, and then he turns round and tells me there's something slightly off with the liver, that it could just be fatty liver from all the weight I put on (that he didn't warn me about), but he'll test me for everything else just in case. Wonderful way to say Merry Christmas, no? Here, merry Christmas, and have some stress.

I'm also considering a second opinion on my joints. It just doesn't seem fair to me that whenever I go there I say, "Blah thing is making my joints hurt worse" (ie, keeping me awake at night, making it difficult to walk or drive, etc) and being met with, "That's nice, do blah and that'll make it better". Blah is the same thing in both sentences, whether that be heat or exercise or whatever the heck it is.

Meanwhile, now that the bitching is out of the way, on to the better stuff.

Jumping back on the job hunt bandwagon, but am also considering whether to stay put with my family or pack up and move, possibly to another state. Partly for the independence, partly just for the heck of it.

Found another Sue Shepherd cookbook today, so will hopefully be attacking recipes out of there soon. It's just so much better when I can pick up a cookbook and know that I've only got to worry about one gut issue (in this case the Crohn's), rather than both.

29 Dec last year, bought a new car. Picked it up on New Years Eve. Shiny showroom-new red Getz. And it's brilliant! Handles the freeways and dirt roads perfectly. Old car was getting just a little old and rattly, and while possibly would have kept going for ages, it needed work and I was looking at getting the new car anyway, so I decided to make the best of some sales. Very happy with it though, and wouldn't trade it for the world right now.

The usual sort of spiel...

So me and my weight. How's it going? Glad you asked. :P Currently down to 83.2 kilos, which is what I weighed this time last year, before all this Crohn's stuff started (well, at least before I was diagnosed). I do have just under 3 kilos to go however to lose the Pred weight, but that'll come. Have vaguely been watching the story of the guy below, the fitness trainer who became obese and then attempted to lose the weight again to better understand his clients. It make me feel so much better that he struggled too.

http://www.news.com.au/national/paul-james-almost-back-to-his-original-weight/story-e6frfkvr-1225811164362

See? Even perfect people aren't so perfect!

Meanwhile, I've got the cranky pants on with the rhumy. Went and saw him nearly a week ago now, and he basically didn't listen to a word I said. Stuck with his usual story of heat, exercise and massage will fix it, gave me a shot in each shoulder and sent me on my merry way. Shots didn't work and I'm more than a little disgruntled about it. It would have been nice to be in less pain for Christmas and new year, but hey. Obviously that's not going to be the case.

The Crohn's is behaving itself, as best as Crohn's can behave, and the fructose stuff seems to be non existant (I had a self indulgent moment yesterday and had a few slices of garlic bread for lunch. No effects.).

Hold onto your hats ladies and gents, it's an update!

Wow it's been a while since I actually posted something worth writing about, huh?

Well. The old hag is behaving herself (fingers crossed, knocking on wood and praying to every God I believe in!) for now, which is lovely. Have even ventured into the dreaded fructose foods, and guess what? I survived. For now.

In the line of the weight, I yo-yo-ed (that really doesn't look right spelled like that, but it looks more right than any other way I try...) for a few weeks, but I'm down to 84.7 as of yesterday, which is nice. Lost more than 10 kilos (22 pounds), have 1.3 to go to what I was at the beginning of the year, but 4.4 to go until I reach my pre-Crohn's weight. Will be over the moon when I hit that.

And time for an arthritis update. Where I live has been hot. Very hot actually. And with it, the oh so delightful agony of arthritis. So much for using heat to get rid of it. Am saving up the pain, turning it into angry, and will deliver a dose of cranky-pants to the rhumy on Friday when I see him. In, of course, the most polite way posible. Just very fed up with doping myself to the eyeballs on Nurofen every day (which I'm not supposed to take because of the Ibuprofen), and still being in a rather high degree of pain (say 9/10 instead of 10/10). Needs fixing. Pronto.

Am trying to enjoy my time off work, and have just started redecorating my room. Been busy sanding some timber for some shelves today, and threw the first coat of paint on. Absolutely love the colour, and am so happy that it's come out exactly as on the sample chip. Second coat should go on tomorrow, and hopefully put them up in the next week or so. There's also curtains to be made (bought the fabric yesterday for somewhat of a bargain), but they'll have to wait until after Christmas before I can tackle them. Should also be enough to make a cushion cover or two out of the leftover fabric. Am really enjoying the prospect of my shoebox looking a little nicer. :)

Didn't end up making it to Sydney for the Gluten Free expo. If anyone who reads this did make it, could you let me know if it's worth going next year?

Umm...... Anyway, I think that's really it. Finally something to write about huh? Now off to clean the shoebox before it's time to put those shelves up.

Random bits and pieces

Ha! 94.2 kilos! Take that old hag! I'm winning! Nyah! Ahem. Maturity? What's that? *whistles innocently* Still a long way from healthy, but I'll get there. Speaking of healthy (or lack thereof), have been utterly exhausted since last Sunday, so eight days now, and continually nauseous. Rather problematic. Difficult sometimes to work out which end to aim at the toilet. *shrug* Hopefully it'll blow over.

Caught up with a friend today and exchanged birthday presents (both of us ever so slightly late with that :D), along with our usual arm long list of health complaints (black market Bodies-R-Us coming to a shadowy alley near you!).

My hair is finally to about the length I'd wanted it cut to six months ago. Still cranky at the hairdresser who butchered it though.....

And it's so damn hot! Not fair when you've ballooned to the point where nothing apart from track pants and jumpers fit you.

The Time Traveler's Wife is an awesome book. If you haven't read it, I suggest you do. Nicely written, nice story, original (in my opinion) idea.... Go read it!

Crohn's wise, I'm down to 4mg of Pred as of this morning, going down by 1mg per fortnight, theoretically only if I feel okay with it. Stuff that, I'm coming off that stuff no matter what. I will not stay on Pred.

Arthritis wise, apparently there's a pocket of fluid stuff between your joints and muscles, and apparently that pocket thing is screwy in my hips, thus continuing on to my knees and ankles. I do wish they'd make up their mind. Also, my knees are a little bit screwy in their own sense, ie they bend the wrong way as well as the right way. Only a little bit, but enough to be screwy. Don't need to see the rhumy again until December, which is nice, even if it is just to save me a bit of money.

Now pardon me while I go puke. :(

Eh.

Whooo! I finally have a full meal I can eat without problems! Potato, broccoli, carrot and stroganoff. *happy dance* It's a relief to be able to say yes, I can eat that meal, rather than, maybe I can eat part of it. Yay! Also, roast lamb seems to go well, which is awesome.

Joint pain is still there, and slightly problematic. Like this morning on the way to work when both hips and my back gave out at the same time. Hating it. And hating the doctor too.

Oh and work? Not only is my boss leaving, one of the people from accounts is bailing too. Oh, and the random salesperson.... My resignation letter is in draft stage in my head. Just a matter of pen to paper and when. I'm so over waking up in the morning and wondering "Am I going to have a job in a few hours?". And I'm over wondering who will leave next. Or when things are going to come crashing down. At least if I pull the pin I'm in control and I know when things are finishing. Right now it's just yet another stress that I don't want or need.

So tired! I'm taking a sleeping tablet pretty much every second night to try and sleep properly, and yet I'm still waking up every hour or two, tossing and turning and just not getting a good sleep. And then in the morning it's as much caffeine as I can pack into one or two cups of coffee (I'm good and don't have any after lunch) just to try and stay awake. Had enough.

Pain (AKA She learns how to put pictures in!)

Hmm..... So. Went and saw the rhumy yesterday. On the plus side? He wants to interfere with the Pred 'cause he wants me off it. This is a good thing. If he hadn't interefered I'd be sitting at 15mg for the next few weeks, which is better than 40mg, but not as good as none. Instead I'm backing down by 2.5mg per week until I'm down to 5mg and we go from there. On the downside? He's suddenly decided that I don't have inflamitory arthritis, despite the x-ray proof, and his previous opinions, and oh, I don't know, the excruciating pain. So. Not only do painkillers not make an appearance, it now seems like he won't be pushing for the humira or infliximab. Bad. Very bad. Because the GI wants me on one for the Crohn's so it doesn't get bad again, but because of all the hoops, we can't get it for the Crohn's. He was relying on the rhumy getting it for me for the arthritis. So was I. Won't go into the temper tantrums, but let's just say it was better I wait a day to post than post straight after I got home.

Also a bit mentioned about sleep and pain and vicious cycles. Oh, and the warmth and massage and exercise to help with the pain. *dumb look goes here* Sure, I don't want drugs if I don't need them, but fuck me, how much pain do I need to be in and how messed up do I have to be for somebody to damn well do something?

I'm just so tired of nearly getting my head around something and then have everything change.

My fish are being cute, as usual. Them, and a glass of scotch and coke settles me. I still get lost in watching them. I swear, I'll glance at the tank and then ten minutes later realise that the quick glance has turned into a ten minute staring contest. With fish. :D

Here are said fish and fishtank
(finally learnt how to put pictures in too!).


Above is one of the cute baby catfish.
Find him! I dare you! :)


And my all too cute black moor, all cured now. :D

Yay!

Yay! Went to see the GI yesterday arvo after work, and I'm down to 15mg of Pred a day now. Yay! Happy dance for me though? My joints have decided that they hate me today (again/as usual). Was also told unfortunately that there's no chance of me qualifying for humira/infliximab with the Crohn's alone, so the GI's hopeful that the rhumy can get one or the other (most likely infliximab) for me with the arthritis. See him on Friday, so I'm hoping the ball can start rolling then. I'm getting fed up with the pain, and I'd very much like to come off the Pred completely, but the GI's hesitant to do that until I'm on something else (so much for not wanting to turn me into a druggie...).

Yeah..... Nothing new really apart from that. Other than I'm glad I took the sleeping tablets last night. Still woke up heaps and didn't really sleep that well, but I think I would have only had about two hours again if I hadn't taken them.

Big red buttons...

So my finger is creeping all the more closer towards that giant red button with the word PANIC written on it in bold. Seriously, it's a matter of millimetres.

Still in pain today (whole shebang), but not quite as bad as over the weekend, so I've dragged myself in to work. Find out this morning that my boss (who's ironically enough off with a bad neck, hope he gets better) resigned last week. This bothers/worries me to a fair degree. I still know nothing about the industry I work in, and I rely heavily on him half the time to tell me what things are and how to do things. I'm a little worried that I'll look completely stupid once he's gone (in two weeks) as opposed to just slightly stupid. Then there's the Crohn's. He's been utterly fantastic with it. And the arthritis. Once he's gone I don't know how everyone else will deal with it.

Originally I remember I didn't enjoy this job. And then I got to know the people, and some of the people we deal with, and vaguely I'm getting to know what things are and what to expect. But really......

Pros of staying:
-Comfortable with people
-Easy with the Crohn's
-It's money

Pros of leaving:
-Can go on a holiday
-Can take some time to get fit(ter than I am now)
-Can take some time to get my head around things (I needed to do this months ago)
-Can (definitely) get a job that pays more
-Can (most likely) get a job closer to home (less money on transport, more money to save)
-Won't get stuck with a company that's going under
-Possibly better places for the Crohn's/arthritis
-Meet new people

Umm..... Actually not too sure why I'm still here, truth be told, looking at the above pros and cons. I think it's time I polish up the resume and push the big red panic button.

In other news.... Umm.... Not having a melt down today? Yet? Apart from the above stuff that is.

Am halfway through Breaking Dawn (last in the Twilight saga). Still enjoying it. Also managed to finish watching the Twilight movie. Definitely a case of don't judge a book by it's movie, but I suppose not entirely bad. Love Bella's Lullaby from it, plus the piano scene it's in. Otherwise I think I may be slightly indifferent to it.

My little black fish is nearly better. I think I'll be able to stop turning the water bright green in a few days. Am looking at getting a catfish for the tank too. Should help keep it cleaner. Mind, I'm getting used to cleaning it every second or third day (a little too often perhaps, but hey). Forgot to mention that I did manage to drag myself out on the weekend to a few fish shops. One of them is fantastic with the range in particular, including Nemo fish, and lion/scorpion fish, and starfish..... And they had huge tanks too which makes me itch even more to have a place of my own.

Erm.... Coffee tastes yucky without milk.

Also, Crohn's stuff..... Either chicken volevants (have no idea how to spell that) or apricot chicken severely disagree with me (even though I've previously said that apricot chicken goes okay). So sadly and with much regret, they both get added to the blacklist.

...blergle.

Help.

There. I said it. Help me, damnit!

Pain. Was meant to have a short week at work last week, with it being slow and all, but was offered the chance to go and play in stores (rather than my normal office work) on Thursday and Friday. It's an opportunity I relish because the day just goes so much faster, and it's something different, and I would have been paid for it as opposed to taking holiday leave or taking the days unpaid. Thursday, got up and got ready for work. Knees, hips and back had other plans. Ended up taking both Thursday and Friday off, and instead of getting better everything is just getting worse. Pain inventory stands at; neck, back (lower and upper), elbows, wrists, fingers, hips, knees, ankles. And throw in a headache for good measure.

Crohn's. I feel like I'm preparing for a colonoscopy. Damn, even the picoprep didn't quite work as effectively as whatever it is that's making me poop. Thought things would improve when I came off the antibiotics. Sure, no slime, and there's no blood, but hello waterfall from my butt! Yes, I know, way too descriptive, but at the present second I really don't care.

Continually on the verge of crying lately too, and I don't think I can blame the Pred for that, seeing as I'm easing off it. I'm stressing about random crap too. There's a lot of stuff going on lately that I just don't want to deal with, or would like someone to help me deal with it, and it's just not happening. Feeling muchly like I'm losing it. Just so many things that I shouldn't be crying over and yet it happens.

So yeah. Somebody? Please? Teeny bit of help? Just maybe before I turn into a complete basket case? So fed up with the pain, and the inconveniences, and not being me anymore.

Awake? Maybe...

Mmmm coffee...... Swear I'll wake up soon. :)

So. As of last Thursday we're back down to three day weeks at work. Wish things would pick up again. Sure it's nice having a four day weekend, but I place a higher value on the money I'd otherwise be earning. Eh. As a result of the three day weeks again, and telling the parents about it, my fish (and the snail!) are now at home. :D Battle has been won. The war, however, continues. When I said about the three day weeks, mum suggested I might need to bring the fish home. Dad grumbled, but really, there wasn't all that much he could whinge about. So Monday arvo I drove them home, cringing every time I heard the swishing of water. Got them home and possibly because of a combination of the very little water I'd left in the tank and the whole moving gig, they sat there glaring at me refusing to move until I topped up their tank and turned it green again. They seemed happier then. White spots are shrinking a little which is a good sign. :)

Friday was spent sleeping in, shopping and reading. See, some of my friends have started up this book club thing, and they've invited me along. The book/series they're discussing at the next meet up is the Twilight saga. Up until Friday I had been avoiding everything to do with Twilight like the plague. I mean come on! My idea of vampires sticks very closely to the Bram Stoker/Anne Rice style. Meyer on the other hand....... Sparkling vampires? *shrug* Anyway. Thought, what the heck, and went and bought Twilight and started reading it once I got home. A few hours later I dragged myself somewhat reluctantly from it for dinner. Twilight was finished by Sunday morning (which is somewhat faster than I generally read). I now also own the rest of the books (am halfway through New Moon, spoilers for any of the books and I will not be a happy camper) as well as the dvd of Twilight. So I guess you could say that yes, I've jumped on the Twilight fandom band wagon. Though, I am not hopelessly in love with Edward. See, everytime I read or hear that name, I think of either Mr Ed (as in the talking horse) or Ed the loopy hyena from The Lion King, so you could possibly understand that I can't keep a straight face while reading. :D I am rather enjoying the books though, especially seeing as I was never going to so much as touch them.

Anyhoo. Saturday saw me bugger off to Sydney, just for the drive. Made it there, had lunch, came home. Half way home the dizzy and the nausea kicked in, so it made travelling at 110/hr and staying in one lane quite a challenge. Got back home(ish) and went to a coffee shop in dire need of coffee. Revived myself, then wandered to the new liquor store and bought Bundy and some random scotch that was cheap. I now have a well stocked liquor cupboard. Went home and died a little.

Slept from 11:30 to 2:30 on Saturday night, all of that interrupted by quite a big lot of pain, mostly coming from my stomach. Bitch.

Sunday saw me stagger to the shops for ginger anti-nausea stuff, the rest of the Twilight stuff, and powerboards for my fish tank filter/light. Also saw a small birthday thing with the family, then to bed early. Presents involved jewellry, a snazzy comfy computer chair (which rocks, quite literally, as well as being awesome), and a new alarm clock/radio.

And then Monday rocked around. Yay, birthday, am now 22. Felt much older than I am, mostly because I was aching everywhere. Worked, and did all the normal everyday stuff. In all, birthday was an ordinary day, but hey. It was okay. Took the fish home (as mentioned above), and enjoyed a few drinks (the nausea and dizzy held off on my birthday, how nice of them...).

Yesterday, felt like crap. Arthritis causing issues, tiredness, cold, nausea, dizziness.... Got home at quarter to five and went to bed (okay, so I was reading, but I was still in bed trying not to throw up).

Today? Eh. It's barely started. My hips hurt, quite a bit actually, and my fingers and wrists are twinging a bit. Back's aching a tad, knee and ankle.... Can't feel my toes, they're too cold. Coffee.... isn't registering yet. Perhaps I need another one? Or maybe I just need to go home before I can't drive... Eh.

So yesterday was a day at home. I rang the doctor's surgery in the morning and whinged and whinged enough that they squeezed me in, despite having no appointments left. GP was in a friendly mood when I saw him, possibly because it was just after lunch, but whatever the reason, I'm not complaining. Talked to him about the arthritis, which the rhumy had just said in his letter was inflammatory arthritis, no name or anything. Intelligent idiot that I am though, I forgot to ask for pain killers. Did get a renewal for a script I needed, and got put on antibiotics for the cold with strict instructions to go back immediately if my cough turns into a chesty one. Incidentally, the antibiotics he put me on? They're the ones he put me on last time I was sick for ages. And the diarrhea never went away. And they diagnosed me with Crohn's. Also asked for sleeping tablets, and was given them (or at least the prescription, I had to pay for the meds) on the proviso that I don't take them every night and get myself hooked.

Otherwise yesterday was a typical sick day. Grumpy, tired, sore throat, blocked ears, headaches.... Yet it was actually a rather productive day. Finished reading Tandia by Bryce Courtenay, restarted my scarf (for the gazillionth time 'cause I keep stuffing it up) and got a bit of it done (before my elbow started complaining), played the ds for a while, watched some of my The Cook and The Chef dvds (note to self: must make the lamb and barley stew!), and started reading The Girl In Time Square by Paullina Simons.

Today I'm at work. I have trouble dealing with my family sometimes when I'm healthy, it's made all the more difficult when I'm not well. Don't get me wrong, most of the time we get along fine. Just sometimes they're, well.... Family. Still not anywhere near 100%, still stuffed up beautifully in the nose, ears are on holiday, head's aching a bit, throat has improved a bit but is still sore.... Bah to colds.

Changed the water for the fish today. Not even sure that it needed it, but they've had the same water nearly two weeks now, so I figure it can't hurt. Turned their water green again too. And managed to confuse them something wonderfully by giving them some new/different food. They're used to flakes, and I thought they might like some granules for a treat. You know, I think I'm actually growing quite fond of them, as opposed to just having them because they're the only animal I'm allowed to have. Particularly my little black one. He's cute. ^.^

Need to be harder on myself. I can manage this for maybe a day, and then I cave and break and end up with stuff from the vending machine, or fast food. Need to be hard! I am a rock! Can't break if I'm a rock. :D

Also worried slightly about the poop. Today I had the urgent "must go now" bit, and went and it was slimey. Like it was before the meds. So I don't know if it's the lack of Pred, something I've eaten or drank (I found guava juice. I love it lots.), or the antibiotics. *sigh* Why can't things just be simple for once? And particularly involving something as simple as wretched poo!

Also, I think I love these. They're amusing things that I've found at a few stores here recently, and I can't help but smile when I see them. Possibly the sick and twisted humour of a Crohnie, but hey. Sometimes, you've gotta laugh or you'll cry.

http://www.the-turds.co.uk/

Bah Humbug

So what does a bad cold and joint pain and lack of sleep do to me? Makes me a darn heap grumpier than usual for one. Also makes me tired and snuffly and sore too.

Went to bed about 10:30ish, was asleep by 11. 2am rocks around and either my hip (which had decided I needed pain) or my cold woke me up. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. It's now nearly 12 hours later and I'm still waiting to get back to sleep. Which will have to wait until after work. And dinner.

The cold. The evil, shit faced cold. And yes, I'll swear outright. It's been gradually getting worse, but never really anything more than a snuffly nose and a vaguely stuffy head. My throat is butchering me, and I'm having all sorts of fun hearing. Again, this is since 2am. And I now have a drawer of my desk solely dedicated to cough drops. I have Butter Menthols, Eucalyptus and Honey things, and then just plain ol' Eucalyptus ones.

And then there's the joints. Usual whinging about them and the doctors goes here.

I think I may need to march myself off to the GP and get him to give me painkillers and sleeping tablets and something for the cold/flu. I can't see my sanity remaining intact much longer if this all keeps up.

On the other hand, my dosage of Prednisone was reduced again this morning to 20mg. Could other people please do the Yay Happy Dance for me? This involves jumping up and down slightly, though not too much, squealing like a child, waving your arms, and flapping your hands. Grinning like a mad person is also part of the Yay Happy Dance. If it helps, have a strong coffee about ten minutes before doing said dance. I would do it myself, except the above mentioned crap is kinda weighing me down and outweighing the happy.

Mentioned breeding fish at home last night. Surprisingly, didn't get any form of argument from my father. Coulda knocked me over with a feather. I think though that there may be slightly stronger protesting if I went about trying to set a tank up at home though. Eh. We'll see.

Speaking of fish, my fish at work are still going well (albeit unnamed). The little black one still has his white spot on his side, but I don't think it's getting any bigger, so there's a plus. Still, I've made the water go bright green again. It can't hurt, and hopefully it'll start clearing it up soon if I keep the treatment up. Cute little thing. Hope it isn't hurting him. :(

No kitten in the bottom drawer. :P

Disney and pain

Hmmm. So. The weekend. It existed. There we go, that's a start. :)

Saturday came and it was sunny! It's been raining a fair bit recently, or at least threatening to, so I took the opportunity to do what the rhumy suggested and go for a walk. I packed me and the camera into the car and went to a nearby botanic gardens and went trigger happy. It was nice to get out and relax for a few hours, but things started aching a bit.

Got home and got sorted out again and then off I went to go and see the magic that is Disney On Ice - Princess Wishes. Me? Adult? I think not! Was going with a friend, so went to pick her up from work and had a coffee while I waited. Double shot latte. Do you know how long it takes for a double shot latte to start wearing off? At least four or five hours. Be afraid.

Disney was amazing! The skaters were fantastic, the music was obviously Disney awesomeness, the costumes were gorgeous to the point that I wanted to run down there and steal them (particularly the Flounder and Lumiere ones)... My inner child has never loved me so much! Bought a program as a souvenir (it came with a pretend rose), and a stuffed toy of Sebastian (I may love him a little too much, and mostly just because of that accent).

Had dinner afterwards in the form of some very yummy fried rice. This was after my attempt at reverse parking. Not such a good idea when coming down off a coffee high. I think I gave up after about the tenth attempt when I just sat there giggling. Easier to find a different park.

Also felt rather pretty on Saturday night. I put effort in. I wore my pretty top that cost me $70 odd, and I let my hair curl, and I wore mascara. And when I got home and caught myself in the mirror, I actually felt pretty. I should try this more often. I should also have taken a photo so I'd remember it.

Speaking of photos, of nearly 400 taken at Disney, only about 3 came out clear. They were all moving too fast!

Saturday night was met with agony and insomnia. Pain in my back, hips, knees and ankles that woke me up and then the delightful insomnia that kept me awake from 2 till 4:30. My rhumy? He says to me last time, "Go for walks, get good sleep, they'll ease the pain.". Yep. 'Kay. How about some pain killers for the agony those walks give me? How about some sleeping tablets to get rid of the insomnia? Oh, you don't want me turning into a druggie? Well you and the GI don't seem to have much of an issue pumping me to the eyeballs with steroids! Pain relief please now!

Dragged out of bed about 10:30 on Sunday morning, having been awake for ages trying to get back to sleep. In utter agony most of the day. Took me over an hour to make my bed. Seriously need something done and I don't see the rhumy again until the 14th of August. Grumpiness will ensue.

Today, still stiff and sore, though not quite to the extent of yesterday. Just taking things as easy as possible. Also plotting for next weekend. Perhaps skipping the walk because I plan on being on my feet a fair bit cooking. Am thinking lasagna and garlic bread. Well, really I'm thinking garlic bread, and whatever main I happen to think will go best with it at the time. :D I love garlic bread.

This is me, giving Crohn's and arthritis the finger.

So I'm fed up of not being able to do things because I'm too sore, from one or the other of Crohn's or arthritis. Absolutely fed up. So I'm giving them both the finger and saying stuff you to them both. To start my protest against them both (possibly moreso the arthritis right now), this weekend I have: cooked. Twice. Been shopping. Multiple times. Exercised! 45 minutes on the Wii, mostly boxing. I won't move tomorrow, but it'll be worth it. I have also eaten copious amounts of things that are bad for me (both weight wise and making-me-poop wise, see bolognese and burritos).

Shopping, I finally caved, admitted I'm fat (like the giant purple stretch marks weren't a give away...), and went into the shop I've not had to go into before. The plus size shop. Albeit the plus size shop with pretty things. Just one issue I have with the place (apart from not wanting to be plus size), is that it seems plus size stores assume that because you are large, you have extra money. Ie, a shirt that you could buy in a size 16 in a regular store may cost say $15 to $20. Maybe $25 at a push. Take same shirt (even same size because that's what size the clothes start at there) and put it in the plus size store, and bam! $50 thankyou. I'm not kidding! Cheapest thing I got was $50. I spent nearly $200 and walked away with a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a kaftan. Normally I would pay no more than $60 for the lot. But hey. I bit the bullet, I've admitted I'm fat, I found some clothes that I can wear at the moment while my pudge is doing the whole white rolly fat thing, and in the meantime I can work my backside off and try to get to where I want to be (a whole few sacks of potatoes lighter).

As mentioned, have also cooked this weekend. Carrot cake came out lovely. Nice and moist, tasting of cinnamon, and yeah. Quite please with first effort at one of my fave cakes. Also cooked dinner last night, a Jamie Oliver recipe titled "The best chicken and sweet leak pie with flakey pastry". Didn't turn it into a pie, left it rather as a stew (filling without the pie) as the recipe said you could, and served it with potato, pumpkin and peas, and did some puff pastry squares in the oven to go on top. Went down well, with even my brother (world title of fussy eater could be held by him) saying he liked it and I can make it again. Just as well 'cause the amount I made (one quantity, supposed to feed four) made enough for two meals for the four of us. Oops. But it was nice.

For anyone interested, the recipe is in his Jamie's Dinners book. Bloody fantastic book, well worth the buy.

Have also started knitting a scarf, much to my fingers' disgust. But I figure, they already bloody hurt (as do my hips, knees, back, etc, etc), so why the hell not? In theory, can't make them worse...

Found season three of Weeds on dvd (finally!) the other day as well, so bought it and have been getting my fix. Note: I do not promote the use of any drugs other than those prescribed by a doctor, Western or traditional. Except for, of course, my beloved Bundy rum. :) And even then, drink only in moderation people!!! Too much is bad.

Update

Dear Gods my hip has decided to try and murder me in the most painful way it can possibly manage. Gargh! Knee is occasionally joining in on the attack. Bitches.

Despite this, I have managed to cook in the new kitchen. Go me! Carrot cake for the first time ever. I love a nice carrot cake, so hopefully this one will be nice. Dry ones suck quite badly, but a moist one is delicious.

Also managed to head to the shops and buy new ugg boots and a fish tank for my fishies. They're spoilt. Classy tank it is, and I snagged a free underwater camera with it. Albeit a cheapy, but hey. I won't argue with free stuff, particularly with what I paid for the tank! My hip did hate me while I drove though, and more than once I was seeing stars. Not really a good sign.

Crohn's wise, my butt's settled down, but we'll see how it goes. Burritos (the pretend kit ones available in Oz) for dinner tonight. Nice, and I do enjoy them, but absolutely nothing beats the real thing. Seriously, there are days where I would pay $100 just to get my hands on a proper burrito made by a Mexican. No one else can make real burritos. Really.

Cold is still attacking me. Hate for it. Much hate. Anyone want a cold? Free to a good home! Any home actually....

Damn. I now have a giant fish tank in my shoebox all weekend. :P

*Insert obscenities here*

So yesterday right? Dad cooked dinner. Nothing wrong with that, dad usually cooks dinner, and it's usually something I enjoy and tastes great. No exception last night, fantastic bolognese. Enjoyed it greatly. At least, while I was eating it I did. Slept kinda alright, nothing to indicate anything was wrong.

Today, woke up, went to the shops. Felt mildy off, couldn't quite put my finger on it though. Coped alright, and then came home and had lunch. Maybe around 1 or 2 this afternoon though? Liquid. And slime. And blood. Expletives go here. Three Imodium later, and I'm still not sitting entirely comfortable. Blood could possibly have just been from a split (my butt seems to be doing a good job of getting those lately), but it was a fair amount if that were the case. Mind, it has eased, so I'm crossing everything I can and hoping that's what's going on. Still vaguely slimed up and liquidy. In any case, bolognese is now a definite no-no. *sad face goes here* I quite enjoy a nice bolognese.

Joint wise, fingers aren't quite as bad as they were yesterday, though still twinging occasionally. At the moment/most of today it's been my hips that are causing the biggest problem. My back and knees and such are twinging a bit too, but hey. Oh, and I got woken up by yet another shite of a cramp in my leg, this time my left one. Funny how before all these meds started I'd only ever had one cramped leg in my entire life, and since starting the meds they've been occurring quite regularly. Extremely painful, both physically and mentally (I need some uninterrupted sleep, damnit!).

Unrelated to the Crohn's or arthritis.....

Bought another soapstone hippo today at the Oxfam fairtrade store. This one's for on my desk at work. Also bought two cds (rainforest and Aussie bush sounds) at Australian Geographic, and bought a soft foam ball thing that looks like the earth for my brother. Think he likes it. Not sure. *shrug*

The rainforest cd is good- calming, relaxing. Quite enjoying it. Had it on for a while ealier with a candle going. Worked on some of those things to stick up on the wall again this afternoon. Seriously, I've now got those motivational bits stuck up on my wardrobe door, and they're unmissable from anywhere in my shoebox of a room. Told you I meant to do it! :P Mind, I did promptly ignore most of them and eat pizza for dinner (let's see how that goes tomorrow....).

Pain.

Owww...... Sore as all get out today. Fingers, hands, wrists, elbows, shoulders.... Hips, back, knees.... Heck even my feet and toes are aching. I get the feeling that maybe the amount of Pred I was on was helping, even if only slightly. Thus, reduced amount of Pred equals increased amount of pain.

In all probability, none of the above is going to be helped by the stupid cold I have that just won't go away. Sinusy and snuffly and very foggy in the head, plus the odd muscular ache and pain. Bah humbug.

Otherwise, am enjoying a lesser amount of the evil (aka Pred) and hopefully it won't be too much longer before the weight and hair on my face start disappearing. Yay!

Oh, and am letting my inner child loose and going to see Disney On Ice with a friend on the 18th. Who said there was such a thing as too old for Disney? Dirty talk that is! ;D

Have the next four days off work too. Obviously the weekend is there, but I get Thursday and Friday off too this week. Work's a bit quiet, but it's starting to pick up again, so just until we get a bit more in I get a four day weekend. Will sleep in I think. And go shopping. And maybe do some cooking and drop it in for people at work. :) I'm a nice person. :P