Whooo! I finally have a full meal I can eat without problems! Potato, broccoli, carrot and stroganoff. *happy dance* It's a relief to be able to say yes, I can eat that meal, rather than, maybe I can eat part of it. Yay! Also, roast lamb seems to go well, which is awesome.
Joint pain is still there, and slightly problematic. Like this morning on the way to work when both hips and my back gave out at the same time. Hating it. And hating the doctor too.
Oh and work? Not only is my boss leaving, one of the people from accounts is bailing too. Oh, and the random salesperson.... My resignation letter is in draft stage in my head. Just a matter of pen to paper and when. I'm so over waking up in the morning and wondering "Am I going to have a job in a few hours?". And I'm over wondering who will leave next. Or when things are going to come crashing down. At least if I pull the pin I'm in control and I know when things are finishing. Right now it's just yet another stress that I don't want or need.
So tired! I'm taking a sleeping tablet pretty much every second night to try and sleep properly, and yet I'm still waking up every hour or two, tossing and turning and just not getting a good sleep. And then in the morning it's as much caffeine as I can pack into one or two cups of coffee (I'm good and don't have any after lunch) just to try and stay awake. Had enough.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sleep! Wonderful sleep!
Friday saw me trundle off to work. Also saw me trundle back home less than an hour later. Feeling pukey, dizzy, sore throat, ears blocked, nose blocked, coughing. The whole shebang. Curled up and watched Weeds. Instant fixer-upper, though a bit of a downer when I realised I have no more new episodes to watch. I believe I may have tried to read at some point too. Took a sleeping tablet and passed out at 8:30 or so, didn't wake up until 8 the next morning when the phone woke me up. Call not for me, was slightly grumpy at being woken up and proceeded to doze for another hour or so.
Saturday saw me wander to Bunnings (giant big hardware store of goodness!) despite feeling like complete and utter crap. Found the paint section and proceeded to gather any piece of paper that had a pretty colour on it (read: bright colours). See, I want my own place one day, but am getting impatient with the whole waiting until I have a deposit saved. Getting paint chips reminds me that I need the deposit in order to get my own place in order to paint it with said pretty colours. Went home, sat and crocheted for the afternoon. Blanket is vaguely happening. Had another sleeping tablet after The Bill (British drama-y goodness, oh how I love it!) and didn't wake up for ten and a half hours. Lovely!
Yesterday I felt a bit better (yay! Happy dance!) and went out again (the answer to "Do I ever have a day where I don't go out?" is "Yes, once in a blue moon"). Found fun comfy chairs to play with (seriously, when did office chairs become good enough that you can use them as an arm chair AND a rocking chair?), the camera I want for over $100 less than RRP (will buy after next pay day. Insert happy squealing here!), and horseshoe gramma (makes for delicious pies made by mum).
No sleeping tablets, and thus today I've been awake since 3am. Insomnia is a bitch that I would like to slaughter. Can't have slaughter without laughter...... Ahem. Have had coffee. Much. Very strong. Am awake. Really. But on the bright side, I do feel somewhat better today. While I'm still dizzy, my nose is unblocked enough that I can breathe through it, and my ears seem to be unblocking occasionally, which is awesome for hearing.
My fish appreciated a water change. And I proceeded to dye their water green again. :D Worried about my little black one. Still has the white spot on his side. Not sure if it might be getting bigger too.... New plants are in order I think too. Next pay day.... Running slightly low on money this fortnight. That's what I get for trying to save and spend at the same time.
Saturday saw me wander to Bunnings (giant big hardware store of goodness!) despite feeling like complete and utter crap. Found the paint section and proceeded to gather any piece of paper that had a pretty colour on it (read: bright colours). See, I want my own place one day, but am getting impatient with the whole waiting until I have a deposit saved. Getting paint chips reminds me that I need the deposit in order to get my own place in order to paint it with said pretty colours. Went home, sat and crocheted for the afternoon. Blanket is vaguely happening. Had another sleeping tablet after The Bill (British drama-y goodness, oh how I love it!) and didn't wake up for ten and a half hours. Lovely!
Yesterday I felt a bit better (yay! Happy dance!) and went out again (the answer to "Do I ever have a day where I don't go out?" is "Yes, once in a blue moon"). Found fun comfy chairs to play with (seriously, when did office chairs become good enough that you can use them as an arm chair AND a rocking chair?), the camera I want for over $100 less than RRP (will buy after next pay day. Insert happy squealing here!), and horseshoe gramma (makes for delicious pies made by mum).
No sleeping tablets, and thus today I've been awake since 3am. Insomnia is a bitch that I would like to slaughter. Can't have slaughter without laughter...... Ahem. Have had coffee. Much. Very strong. Am awake. Really. But on the bright side, I do feel somewhat better today. While I'm still dizzy, my nose is unblocked enough that I can breathe through it, and my ears seem to be unblocking occasionally, which is awesome for hearing.
My fish appreciated a water change. And I proceeded to dye their water green again. :D Worried about my little black one. Still has the white spot on his side. Not sure if it might be getting bigger too.... New plants are in order I think too. Next pay day.... Running slightly low on money this fortnight. That's what I get for trying to save and spend at the same time.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
So yesterday was a day at home. I rang the doctor's surgery in the morning and whinged and whinged enough that they squeezed me in, despite having no appointments left. GP was in a friendly mood when I saw him, possibly because it was just after lunch, but whatever the reason, I'm not complaining. Talked to him about the arthritis, which the rhumy had just said in his letter was inflammatory arthritis, no name or anything. Intelligent idiot that I am though, I forgot to ask for pain killers. Did get a renewal for a script I needed, and got put on antibiotics for the cold with strict instructions to go back immediately if my cough turns into a chesty one. Incidentally, the antibiotics he put me on? They're the ones he put me on last time I was sick for ages. And the diarrhea never went away. And they diagnosed me with Crohn's. Also asked for sleeping tablets, and was given them (or at least the prescription, I had to pay for the meds) on the proviso that I don't take them every night and get myself hooked.
Otherwise yesterday was a typical sick day. Grumpy, tired, sore throat, blocked ears, headaches.... Yet it was actually a rather productive day. Finished reading Tandia by Bryce Courtenay, restarted my scarf (for the gazillionth time 'cause I keep stuffing it up) and got a bit of it done (before my elbow started complaining), played the ds for a while, watched some of my The Cook and The Chef dvds (note to self: must make the lamb and barley stew!), and started reading The Girl In Time Square by Paullina Simons.
Today I'm at work. I have trouble dealing with my family sometimes when I'm healthy, it's made all the more difficult when I'm not well. Don't get me wrong, most of the time we get along fine. Just sometimes they're, well.... Family. Still not anywhere near 100%, still stuffed up beautifully in the nose, ears are on holiday, head's aching a bit, throat has improved a bit but is still sore.... Bah to colds.
Changed the water for the fish today. Not even sure that it needed it, but they've had the same water nearly two weeks now, so I figure it can't hurt. Turned their water green again too. And managed to confuse them something wonderfully by giving them some new/different food. They're used to flakes, and I thought they might like some granules for a treat. You know, I think I'm actually growing quite fond of them, as opposed to just having them because they're the only animal I'm allowed to have. Particularly my little black one. He's cute. ^.^
Need to be harder on myself. I can manage this for maybe a day, and then I cave and break and end up with stuff from the vending machine, or fast food. Need to be hard! I am a rock! Can't break if I'm a rock. :D
Also worried slightly about the poop. Today I had the urgent "must go now" bit, and went and it was slimey. Like it was before the meds. So I don't know if it's the lack of Pred, something I've eaten or drank (I found guava juice. I love it lots.), or the antibiotics. *sigh* Why can't things just be simple for once? And particularly involving something as simple as wretched poo!
Also, I think I love these. They're amusing things that I've found at a few stores here recently, and I can't help but smile when I see them. Possibly the sick and twisted humour of a Crohnie, but hey. Sometimes, you've gotta laugh or you'll cry.
http://www.the-turds.co.uk/
Otherwise yesterday was a typical sick day. Grumpy, tired, sore throat, blocked ears, headaches.... Yet it was actually a rather productive day. Finished reading Tandia by Bryce Courtenay, restarted my scarf (for the gazillionth time 'cause I keep stuffing it up) and got a bit of it done (before my elbow started complaining), played the ds for a while, watched some of my The Cook and The Chef dvds (note to self: must make the lamb and barley stew!), and started reading The Girl In Time Square by Paullina Simons.
Today I'm at work. I have trouble dealing with my family sometimes when I'm healthy, it's made all the more difficult when I'm not well. Don't get me wrong, most of the time we get along fine. Just sometimes they're, well.... Family. Still not anywhere near 100%, still stuffed up beautifully in the nose, ears are on holiday, head's aching a bit, throat has improved a bit but is still sore.... Bah to colds.
Changed the water for the fish today. Not even sure that it needed it, but they've had the same water nearly two weeks now, so I figure it can't hurt. Turned their water green again too. And managed to confuse them something wonderfully by giving them some new/different food. They're used to flakes, and I thought they might like some granules for a treat. You know, I think I'm actually growing quite fond of them, as opposed to just having them because they're the only animal I'm allowed to have. Particularly my little black one. He's cute. ^.^
Need to be harder on myself. I can manage this for maybe a day, and then I cave and break and end up with stuff from the vending machine, or fast food. Need to be hard! I am a rock! Can't break if I'm a rock. :D
Also worried slightly about the poop. Today I had the urgent "must go now" bit, and went and it was slimey. Like it was before the meds. So I don't know if it's the lack of Pred, something I've eaten or drank (I found guava juice. I love it lots.), or the antibiotics. *sigh* Why can't things just be simple for once? And particularly involving something as simple as wretched poo!
Also, I think I love these. They're amusing things that I've found at a few stores here recently, and I can't help but smile when I see them. Possibly the sick and twisted humour of a Crohnie, but hey. Sometimes, you've gotta laugh or you'll cry.
http://www.the-turds.co.uk/
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Bah Humbug
So what does a bad cold and joint pain and lack of sleep do to me? Makes me a darn heap grumpier than usual for one. Also makes me tired and snuffly and sore too.
Went to bed about 10:30ish, was asleep by 11. 2am rocks around and either my hip (which had decided I needed pain) or my cold woke me up. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. It's now nearly 12 hours later and I'm still waiting to get back to sleep. Which will have to wait until after work. And dinner.
The cold. The evil, shit faced cold. And yes, I'll swear outright. It's been gradually getting worse, but never really anything more than a snuffly nose and a vaguely stuffy head. My throat is butchering me, and I'm having all sorts of fun hearing. Again, this is since 2am. And I now have a drawer of my desk solely dedicated to cough drops. I have Butter Menthols, Eucalyptus and Honey things, and then just plain ol' Eucalyptus ones.
And then there's the joints. Usual whinging about them and the doctors goes here.
I think I may need to march myself off to the GP and get him to give me painkillers and sleeping tablets and something for the cold/flu. I can't see my sanity remaining intact much longer if this all keeps up.
On the other hand, my dosage of Prednisone was reduced again this morning to 20mg. Could other people please do the Yay Happy Dance for me? This involves jumping up and down slightly, though not too much, squealing like a child, waving your arms, and flapping your hands. Grinning like a mad person is also part of the Yay Happy Dance. If it helps, have a strong coffee about ten minutes before doing said dance. I would do it myself, except the above mentioned crap is kinda weighing me down and outweighing the happy.
Mentioned breeding fish at home last night. Surprisingly, didn't get any form of argument from my father. Coulda knocked me over with a feather. I think though that there may be slightly stronger protesting if I went about trying to set a tank up at home though. Eh. We'll see.
Speaking of fish, my fish at work are still going well (albeit unnamed). The little black one still has his white spot on his side, but I don't think it's getting any bigger, so there's a plus. Still, I've made the water go bright green again. It can't hurt, and hopefully it'll start clearing it up soon if I keep the treatment up. Cute little thing. Hope it isn't hurting him. :(
No kitten in the bottom drawer. :P
Went to bed about 10:30ish, was asleep by 11. 2am rocks around and either my hip (which had decided I needed pain) or my cold woke me up. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. It's now nearly 12 hours later and I'm still waiting to get back to sleep. Which will have to wait until after work. And dinner.
The cold. The evil, shit faced cold. And yes, I'll swear outright. It's been gradually getting worse, but never really anything more than a snuffly nose and a vaguely stuffy head. My throat is butchering me, and I'm having all sorts of fun hearing. Again, this is since 2am. And I now have a drawer of my desk solely dedicated to cough drops. I have Butter Menthols, Eucalyptus and Honey things, and then just plain ol' Eucalyptus ones.
And then there's the joints. Usual whinging about them and the doctors goes here.
I think I may need to march myself off to the GP and get him to give me painkillers and sleeping tablets and something for the cold/flu. I can't see my sanity remaining intact much longer if this all keeps up.
On the other hand, my dosage of Prednisone was reduced again this morning to 20mg. Could other people please do the Yay Happy Dance for me? This involves jumping up and down slightly, though not too much, squealing like a child, waving your arms, and flapping your hands. Grinning like a mad person is also part of the Yay Happy Dance. If it helps, have a strong coffee about ten minutes before doing said dance. I would do it myself, except the above mentioned crap is kinda weighing me down and outweighing the happy.
Mentioned breeding fish at home last night. Surprisingly, didn't get any form of argument from my father. Coulda knocked me over with a feather. I think though that there may be slightly stronger protesting if I went about trying to set a tank up at home though. Eh. We'll see.
Speaking of fish, my fish at work are still going well (albeit unnamed). The little black one still has his white spot on his side, but I don't think it's getting any bigger, so there's a plus. Still, I've made the water go bright green again. It can't hurt, and hopefully it'll start clearing it up soon if I keep the treatment up. Cute little thing. Hope it isn't hurting him. :(
No kitten in the bottom drawer. :P
Monday, July 20, 2009
Disney and pain
Hmmm. So. The weekend. It existed. There we go, that's a start. :)
Saturday came and it was sunny! It's been raining a fair bit recently, or at least threatening to, so I took the opportunity to do what the rhumy suggested and go for a walk. I packed me and the camera into the car and went to a nearby botanic gardens and went trigger happy. It was nice to get out and relax for a few hours, but things started aching a bit.
Got home and got sorted out again and then off I went to go and see the magic that is Disney On Ice - Princess Wishes. Me? Adult? I think not! Was going with a friend, so went to pick her up from work and had a coffee while I waited. Double shot latte. Do you know how long it takes for a double shot latte to start wearing off? At least four or five hours. Be afraid.
Disney was amazing! The skaters were fantastic, the music was obviously Disney awesomeness, the costumes were gorgeous to the point that I wanted to run down there and steal them (particularly the Flounder and Lumiere ones)... My inner child has never loved me so much! Bought a program as a souvenir (it came with a pretend rose), and a stuffed toy of Sebastian (I may love him a little too much, and mostly just because of that accent).
Had dinner afterwards in the form of some very yummy fried rice. This was after my attempt at reverse parking. Not such a good idea when coming down off a coffee high. I think I gave up after about the tenth attempt when I just sat there giggling. Easier to find a different park.
Also felt rather pretty on Saturday night. I put effort in. I wore my pretty top that cost me $70 odd, and I let my hair curl, and I wore mascara. And when I got home and caught myself in the mirror, I actually felt pretty. I should try this more often. I should also have taken a photo so I'd remember it.
Speaking of photos, of nearly 400 taken at Disney, only about 3 came out clear. They were all moving too fast!
Saturday night was met with agony and insomnia. Pain in my back, hips, knees and ankles that woke me up and then the delightful insomnia that kept me awake from 2 till 4:30. My rhumy? He says to me last time, "Go for walks, get good sleep, they'll ease the pain.". Yep. 'Kay. How about some pain killers for the agony those walks give me? How about some sleeping tablets to get rid of the insomnia? Oh, you don't want me turning into a druggie? Well you and the GI don't seem to have much of an issue pumping me to the eyeballs with steroids! Pain relief please now!
Dragged out of bed about 10:30 on Sunday morning, having been awake for ages trying to get back to sleep. In utter agony most of the day. Took me over an hour to make my bed. Seriously need something done and I don't see the rhumy again until the 14th of August. Grumpiness will ensue.
Today, still stiff and sore, though not quite to the extent of yesterday. Just taking things as easy as possible. Also plotting for next weekend. Perhaps skipping the walk because I plan on being on my feet a fair bit cooking. Am thinking lasagna and garlic bread. Well, really I'm thinking garlic bread, and whatever main I happen to think will go best with it at the time. :D I love garlic bread.
Saturday came and it was sunny! It's been raining a fair bit recently, or at least threatening to, so I took the opportunity to do what the rhumy suggested and go for a walk. I packed me and the camera into the car and went to a nearby botanic gardens and went trigger happy. It was nice to get out and relax for a few hours, but things started aching a bit.
Got home and got sorted out again and then off I went to go and see the magic that is Disney On Ice - Princess Wishes. Me? Adult? I think not! Was going with a friend, so went to pick her up from work and had a coffee while I waited. Double shot latte. Do you know how long it takes for a double shot latte to start wearing off? At least four or five hours. Be afraid.
Disney was amazing! The skaters were fantastic, the music was obviously Disney awesomeness, the costumes were gorgeous to the point that I wanted to run down there and steal them (particularly the Flounder and Lumiere ones)... My inner child has never loved me so much! Bought a program as a souvenir (it came with a pretend rose), and a stuffed toy of Sebastian (I may love him a little too much, and mostly just because of that accent).
Had dinner afterwards in the form of some very yummy fried rice. This was after my attempt at reverse parking. Not such a good idea when coming down off a coffee high. I think I gave up after about the tenth attempt when I just sat there giggling. Easier to find a different park.
Also felt rather pretty on Saturday night. I put effort in. I wore my pretty top that cost me $70 odd, and I let my hair curl, and I wore mascara. And when I got home and caught myself in the mirror, I actually felt pretty. I should try this more often. I should also have taken a photo so I'd remember it.
Speaking of photos, of nearly 400 taken at Disney, only about 3 came out clear. They were all moving too fast!
Saturday night was met with agony and insomnia. Pain in my back, hips, knees and ankles that woke me up and then the delightful insomnia that kept me awake from 2 till 4:30. My rhumy? He says to me last time, "Go for walks, get good sleep, they'll ease the pain.". Yep. 'Kay. How about some pain killers for the agony those walks give me? How about some sleeping tablets to get rid of the insomnia? Oh, you don't want me turning into a druggie? Well you and the GI don't seem to have much of an issue pumping me to the eyeballs with steroids! Pain relief please now!
Dragged out of bed about 10:30 on Sunday morning, having been awake for ages trying to get back to sleep. In utter agony most of the day. Took me over an hour to make my bed. Seriously need something done and I don't see the rhumy again until the 14th of August. Grumpiness will ensue.
Today, still stiff and sore, though not quite to the extent of yesterday. Just taking things as easy as possible. Also plotting for next weekend. Perhaps skipping the walk because I plan on being on my feet a fair bit cooking. Am thinking lasagna and garlic bread. Well, really I'm thinking garlic bread, and whatever main I happen to think will go best with it at the time. :D I love garlic bread.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Weighty issues....
So I went to work on Friday. And I actually worked a bit extra too. Just some work for a customer that needs doing rather quickly so yeah. Extra time got done. Doesn't worry me, I offered to do it, and it'll make up maybe a little bit of the time I've had off with my hands. Also decided on Friday night that if I was well on Saturday I'd go for a drive (Dad wasn't feeling up to going to Sydney for the symposium).
Saturday I was woken up by a shite of a cramp in my right leg. Bitch! I need that leg for driving! Let it calm down, massaged it a bit, then crawled out of bed to see if I could walk. Walking was doable, so I packed me, the camera, the Imodium, and the two rolls of loo paper into the car and off I went. Stopped for breakfast and was about to go again when I got a phone call from a really good friend. Just to chat, but it was fantastic to hear from him. He has a bad habit of calling once I've already gone to bed, and my phone's usually on silent anyway. Set off again and started enjoying the day even more. That lasted maybe another hour until the cold symptoms kicked in (again!). They just won't go away. Kept going, and took one of my usual drives through the Hunter Valley.
I love that place. I was raised there. It's home. And there's usually a very strong pull at the heart strings to go there and stay there. It was missing yesterday. Something wasn't right. It was still a very pretty drive through the country (what I remember of it, I slipped into auto pilot because of the cold), but it didn't tug the heart strings, and that makes me a little sad. For years, despite not living there anymore, it's been the place I go to to think and to calm down when I'm stressed or angry or upset. And I always feel free and safe and welcome there. But I just wasn't getting that yesterday. It was just another place, with no meaning. I'm not so much sad that the feeling is gone, it's just I've always viewed myself as belonging there because of that feeling. With the feeling gone, I guess I don't really belong there anymore, which is fine, but what bugs me is where do I belong then? If I'm not still the country kid at heart, then who am I? I know I'm a little lost right now, but that's about it. Maybe I need to start creating the person I want to be. I dunno. Random thoughts that probably don't make sense. Eh.
I've thought recently that my stretch marks have been a little bit painful. Stinging, burning, that kinda thing. Last night I discovered that yes indeed they have been painful, and there's a reason. They're actually splitting open. Well, at least one has. Just a small split, but enough to bleed. I've fattened up at a rate where I am actually splitting my skin. Embarassing much? So the crash exercise/eating regime has begun (again. For the gazillionth time.) today. As a result, I got to weight myself on the Wii. When I first bought that, I entered that I wanted to lose 10 kilos. Instead I have managed to gain more than that. I'm now up to 91.5 kilos. A kilo a week gained. And it takes me a month to lose a kilo. I'm a year behind where I wanted to be. Actually, more than that, but hey. Hopefully if I hit things hard I can speed that up a bit. And coming off the Pred is now a big issue. I can't stay on a med that is essentially causing me to split myself at the seams. Glad in a way for that arthritis now.....
Today, woken up by fecking birds. They're the nuisance Minahs, and they insist on tapdancing on the tin roof under my window and squawking as loud as possible. Then they repeat the process on my window sill. Bastards. I needed sleep! Dragged out of bed, wandered around some shops, exercised on the Wii, wandered around some more shops and came home again in pain. The muscle in my leg that cramped yesterday is being a bitch and is all tight and sore. As a result it's making me walk funny, and thus my knees and hips have given out, and my back's following suit. And I can't really do much more in the intended line of exercise now either. :(
Am also tired as all buggery. Despite it only being 2:30 in the arvo, it feels like I should have been asleep for the past few hours. It really feels so much later. *sigh* And I have to drag out of bed for work in the morning. Bah. I just need a few days where I can sleep for as long as I need to, not how long is dictated by the alarm, or my screwed up body, or the damned birds! Never mind. Coffee is a god. :)
And now off to write pretty brightly coloured motivational signs telling me "Don't eat bad foods!" and "Don't give up now!". ........Yes, I seriously am going to do that. Splitting your skin is scary stuff people! It calls for drastic measures! :D
Saturday I was woken up by a shite of a cramp in my right leg. Bitch! I need that leg for driving! Let it calm down, massaged it a bit, then crawled out of bed to see if I could walk. Walking was doable, so I packed me, the camera, the Imodium, and the two rolls of loo paper into the car and off I went. Stopped for breakfast and was about to go again when I got a phone call from a really good friend. Just to chat, but it was fantastic to hear from him. He has a bad habit of calling once I've already gone to bed, and my phone's usually on silent anyway. Set off again and started enjoying the day even more. That lasted maybe another hour until the cold symptoms kicked in (again!). They just won't go away. Kept going, and took one of my usual drives through the Hunter Valley.
I love that place. I was raised there. It's home. And there's usually a very strong pull at the heart strings to go there and stay there. It was missing yesterday. Something wasn't right. It was still a very pretty drive through the country (what I remember of it, I slipped into auto pilot because of the cold), but it didn't tug the heart strings, and that makes me a little sad. For years, despite not living there anymore, it's been the place I go to to think and to calm down when I'm stressed or angry or upset. And I always feel free and safe and welcome there. But I just wasn't getting that yesterday. It was just another place, with no meaning. I'm not so much sad that the feeling is gone, it's just I've always viewed myself as belonging there because of that feeling. With the feeling gone, I guess I don't really belong there anymore, which is fine, but what bugs me is where do I belong then? If I'm not still the country kid at heart, then who am I? I know I'm a little lost right now, but that's about it. Maybe I need to start creating the person I want to be. I dunno. Random thoughts that probably don't make sense. Eh.
I've thought recently that my stretch marks have been a little bit painful. Stinging, burning, that kinda thing. Last night I discovered that yes indeed they have been painful, and there's a reason. They're actually splitting open. Well, at least one has. Just a small split, but enough to bleed. I've fattened up at a rate where I am actually splitting my skin. Embarassing much? So the crash exercise/eating regime has begun (again. For the gazillionth time.) today. As a result, I got to weight myself on the Wii. When I first bought that, I entered that I wanted to lose 10 kilos. Instead I have managed to gain more than that. I'm now up to 91.5 kilos. A kilo a week gained. And it takes me a month to lose a kilo. I'm a year behind where I wanted to be. Actually, more than that, but hey. Hopefully if I hit things hard I can speed that up a bit. And coming off the Pred is now a big issue. I can't stay on a med that is essentially causing me to split myself at the seams. Glad in a way for that arthritis now.....
Today, woken up by fecking birds. They're the nuisance Minahs, and they insist on tapdancing on the tin roof under my window and squawking as loud as possible. Then they repeat the process on my window sill. Bastards. I needed sleep! Dragged out of bed, wandered around some shops, exercised on the Wii, wandered around some more shops and came home again in pain. The muscle in my leg that cramped yesterday is being a bitch and is all tight and sore. As a result it's making me walk funny, and thus my knees and hips have given out, and my back's following suit. And I can't really do much more in the intended line of exercise now either. :(
Am also tired as all buggery. Despite it only being 2:30 in the arvo, it feels like I should have been asleep for the past few hours. It really feels so much later. *sigh* And I have to drag out of bed for work in the morning. Bah. I just need a few days where I can sleep for as long as I need to, not how long is dictated by the alarm, or my screwed up body, or the damned birds! Never mind. Coffee is a god. :)
And now off to write pretty brightly coloured motivational signs telling me "Don't eat bad foods!" and "Don't give up now!". ........Yes, I seriously am going to do that. Splitting your skin is scary stuff people! It calls for drastic measures! :D
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Liquid fire much?
So I got a revisit from the liquid fire again yesterday. Frustrating, as I'm trying to eat healthy to avoid more stretch marks (seriously, dark purple, and stinging and burning like all anything). It's either the kiwi fruit, or the tzatziki. Kiwi fruit I can live without, but the tzatziki is delicious. *sad face here* Could also have been the pre-made mashed potato from the day before, or the rice crackers. Bah humbug.
Very tired lately. Also have a cold. Shite of a thing. Slept until eight this morning (major sleep in for me) and only woke up then because I'd set my alarm for then. Had to go out and meet up with a friend for coffee. Coffee is starting to wear off now though, so am crashing a little bit. Hopefully can sleep in tomorrow too. Will be grateful.
Umm.... Crohn's related stuff I think that's about it. Apart from me being fed up with the pred, but then what's new there?
Very tired lately. Also have a cold. Shite of a thing. Slept until eight this morning (major sleep in for me) and only woke up then because I'd set my alarm for then. Had to go out and meet up with a friend for coffee. Coffee is starting to wear off now though, so am crashing a little bit. Hopefully can sleep in tomorrow too. Will be grateful.
Umm.... Crohn's related stuff I think that's about it. Apart from me being fed up with the pred, but then what's new there?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tired, cold induced blather.
Urgh. I am coldy/fluey at the moment. Achey, sniffly, head feels like a bunch of wet soggy newspaper glued to the inside of my skull.... The first person who says it's swine flu will be shot. Seriously, that's all I'm reading in the news at the moment. "Blah, blah, blah, swine flu, blah blah, swine flu, blah oh look swine flu". It'll go away. Just like the bird flu did. Besides, what I have is more likely a cold than the flu. *defensiveness over and out*
Joint pain still bugging me, particularly in my fingers, wrists and knees. Also, the pain I get in my jaw is starting to worry me a bit. It happens after eating a normal size meal (small bits and pieces are okay), or when I have something warm then something cold (ie, hot food followed by a mouthful of drink). Rather painful and tight and very uncomfortable and I'm not entirely sure that I'm meant to be experiencing it.
My parents must be magic. No, really. We had pizza last night for dinner, just after I had been musing over how it would go (okay, so it was a day or two later, but hey. Magic sounds better). Eagle Boys pizza gets a big thumbs up!!! I can eat pizza! Whoo!! Just not pub pizza at the local. *sad face goes here* But I can eat pizza!
Sleep is being interupted. I don't quite know which is more annoying, the waking up and staying awake for hours on end, or the waking up every hour or two throughout the night like I have been lately. Possibly that, because at least if I'm awake for a few hours I get deep sleep either side of it and I can do stuff during the time I'm awake. Waking up regularly is sucky because there's no deep sleep and nothing gets done.
My eyes are bothering me. Still just the general blurry/hard to focus crap. It's not made much better by eight hours in front of a computer every day. My computer at home doesn't get turned on during the week anymore. Poor thing. I just don't have a need for it at the moment. By the end of the day my eyes hate me.
Coherency is also still out the window somewhat. Typing gets redone, backspaced, deleted. Talking comes out half gibberish half the time. Sometimes I just shouldn't talk. Sometimes I can't. That's fun. And others I can't think of simple words, like desk and chair and window. They get replaced with "thing" and pointed to.
Off to get blood tests again this afternoon. I get to see the meany person next Tuesday after work and he wants blood tests done. Hate needles. Hate doctors. Hate afternoon traffic. Grrr....
On the upside, I have less than a week before I tell the doctor that either he takes me off the enemas or I take myself off them. I've had enough of them, I really have. They're time consuming, always uncomfortable, often painful, sometimes to the point of wiping out all messages my brain is trying to send to my body, and quite honestly, I'm fed up of having things shoved the wrong way up my butt. Not. Happy. Jan.
I'm to the point now where I tend to end up laughing a bit, because otherwise I'll cry. And I don't even try to stop my brain coming out with silly things. Like this morning, when my first thought upon entering the bathroom was, "Let's see what the Pimple Fairy left for us today". I tend to be a bit more sensible than that, but no. Sensible? Out the window! Clearly, my brain recognises that I need amusement above anything else, particularly at that hour of the morning.
Poo is back to it's usual self (by usual, I mean that which it has been more often than not in the past couple of weeks). No slime (thank the Gods!), no blood. Maybe it was just a one off, catch up/retaliation for the MacDonalds? Hoping so. And yes readers, I will proceed to talk occasionally about poo, farts and all things gross involving the gut and the butt. Have fun reading!
No kitten. I'm sure I'll eventually get tired of looking. In a year or two. :P
Joint pain still bugging me, particularly in my fingers, wrists and knees. Also, the pain I get in my jaw is starting to worry me a bit. It happens after eating a normal size meal (small bits and pieces are okay), or when I have something warm then something cold (ie, hot food followed by a mouthful of drink). Rather painful and tight and very uncomfortable and I'm not entirely sure that I'm meant to be experiencing it.
My parents must be magic. No, really. We had pizza last night for dinner, just after I had been musing over how it would go (okay, so it was a day or two later, but hey. Magic sounds better). Eagle Boys pizza gets a big thumbs up!!! I can eat pizza! Whoo!! Just not pub pizza at the local. *sad face goes here* But I can eat pizza!
Sleep is being interupted. I don't quite know which is more annoying, the waking up and staying awake for hours on end, or the waking up every hour or two throughout the night like I have been lately. Possibly that, because at least if I'm awake for a few hours I get deep sleep either side of it and I can do stuff during the time I'm awake. Waking up regularly is sucky because there's no deep sleep and nothing gets done.
My eyes are bothering me. Still just the general blurry/hard to focus crap. It's not made much better by eight hours in front of a computer every day. My computer at home doesn't get turned on during the week anymore. Poor thing. I just don't have a need for it at the moment. By the end of the day my eyes hate me.
Coherency is also still out the window somewhat. Typing gets redone, backspaced, deleted. Talking comes out half gibberish half the time. Sometimes I just shouldn't talk. Sometimes I can't. That's fun. And others I can't think of simple words, like desk and chair and window. They get replaced with "thing" and pointed to.
Off to get blood tests again this afternoon. I get to see the meany person next Tuesday after work and he wants blood tests done. Hate needles. Hate doctors. Hate afternoon traffic. Grrr....
On the upside, I have less than a week before I tell the doctor that either he takes me off the enemas or I take myself off them. I've had enough of them, I really have. They're time consuming, always uncomfortable, often painful, sometimes to the point of wiping out all messages my brain is trying to send to my body, and quite honestly, I'm fed up of having things shoved the wrong way up my butt. Not. Happy. Jan.
I'm to the point now where I tend to end up laughing a bit, because otherwise I'll cry. And I don't even try to stop my brain coming out with silly things. Like this morning, when my first thought upon entering the bathroom was, "Let's see what the Pimple Fairy left for us today". I tend to be a bit more sensible than that, but no. Sensible? Out the window! Clearly, my brain recognises that I need amusement above anything else, particularly at that hour of the morning.
Poo is back to it's usual self (by usual, I mean that which it has been more often than not in the past couple of weeks). No slime (thank the Gods!), no blood. Maybe it was just a one off, catch up/retaliation for the MacDonalds? Hoping so. And yes readers, I will proceed to talk occasionally about poo, farts and all things gross involving the gut and the butt. Have fun reading!
No kitten. I'm sure I'll eventually get tired of looking. In a year or two. :P
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Bleh. Yay for creative blog titles!
*whingey whiney whimpering goes here*
So the slime came back last night. Yucky stuff. I thought things must've been getting better, but obviously not as good as I thought.
Also, ewyuckyyegodsstretchmarksofdoom! I don't often see myself in a mirror, apart from my face or when I'm fully clothed, so it kinda threw me a bit last night when I did catch myself and see the ew yuckies that I know weren't there that long ago. Weight has been creeping on, just not sure how much. The scales are hiding at home, which is probably a good thing. I think if I stepped on them I'd get cranky with them.
Pain yesterday. Fingers, wrist (although both of those not hugely bad), back, hips, knees...... Basically anything I needed to function properly. Advil is my friend.
I'm also beginning to realise that I quite possibly sound like a junkie. Advil, Imodium..... Friends! Whoo! Ahem. Note, I only take them when I need them. In the meantime I whinge and whinge like a little brat and piss everyone in the immediate vicinity off until I finally get yelled at to do something about it.
So far, corn chips and salsa appears to be going okay. Maybe. I hope! It's tasty.
Slept well last night. Was cold enough that I went hunting for the doona before I went to bed, so curled up under that and a blanket and was happy. Though, cold mornings and a warm bed and not so good for getting up and getting ready for work. So the shower was hot and the heater went on as soon as I got to work.
No kitten. *sad face goes here* Though the corn chips and salsa are still living there. :)
So the slime came back last night. Yucky stuff. I thought things must've been getting better, but obviously not as good as I thought.
Also, ewyuckyyegodsstretchmarksofdoom! I don't often see myself in a mirror, apart from my face or when I'm fully clothed, so it kinda threw me a bit last night when I did catch myself and see the ew yuckies that I know weren't there that long ago. Weight has been creeping on, just not sure how much. The scales are hiding at home, which is probably a good thing. I think if I stepped on them I'd get cranky with them.
Pain yesterday. Fingers, wrist (although both of those not hugely bad), back, hips, knees...... Basically anything I needed to function properly. Advil is my friend.
I'm also beginning to realise that I quite possibly sound like a junkie. Advil, Imodium..... Friends! Whoo! Ahem. Note, I only take them when I need them. In the meantime I whinge and whinge like a little brat and piss everyone in the immediate vicinity off until I finally get yelled at to do something about it.
So far, corn chips and salsa appears to be going okay. Maybe. I hope! It's tasty.
Slept well last night. Was cold enough that I went hunting for the doona before I went to bed, so curled up under that and a blanket and was happy. Though, cold mornings and a warm bed and not so good for getting up and getting ready for work. So the shower was hot and the heater went on as soon as I got to work.
No kitten. *sad face goes here* Though the corn chips and salsa are still living there. :)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Pizza = liquid fire.
I meant to post over the weekend, just by the time I had a few minutes I really wasn't in a good head space.
Friday night was sleepy time. Seriously, 12 hours of beautiful sleep. I loved every minute of it. Yeah sure, woke up a few times, but it was the simple roll over and go back to sleep moments, not the ah Gods the pain! moments. They seem to be fading. Maybe it was just my body getting used to the meds. I hope!
Saturday wasn't feeling too brilliant, just a coldy thing still, but decided I was shopping. Damnit, I need something to keep my sanity. It resulted in a few new bits of yarn, a new mug (which says "If I knit fast enough does it count as exercise?"), a recipe book for Crohn's, Colitis, Celiac (can't spell it, but hey), and IBS. Some nice looking recipes in there, but it's all based on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, and most of what I've heard says to take that one with a rather large grain of salt. That, and I can't stand any diet that says I can't have potato. :) Also ended up with another Kimmi Doll, Kaori. Strength. She's one of the ones I've been looking for, so I was quite stoked to find her. Was also informed while I was there by the guy behind the counter that new ones are hitting the store this week, which is awesome because I believe a few of the ones I haven't been able to find are because they're new. I know it can be viewed as wasted money, but it's just something to keep my head up. While it's easy to say to yourself to be strong, and to have faith and belief in yourself, it's a lot harder to actually maintain this, particularly when you're curled up crying on the floor. But having a physical representation of these things kinda helps because you see it through the tears and you stop for a sec to think on it, and that sec turns into a minute and that minute keeps going and it reminds you of what you need to do. At least that's how it works for me, so I view it as a worthwhile waste of money. :)
Saturday night my parents, brother and I went to one of our locals for dinner in celebration of my brother's birthday. They do amazing pizza there, so we got a supreme, meat lovers, and a bbq chicken one to split between the four of us, along with garlic bread. My gods they were delicious, particularly the chicken one. Bbq sauce, chicken, sweet chilli sauce, sour cream.... I think there may have been mushroom on it too. Enjoyed it, and even managed to sit back a few minutes to fully appreciate a good meal. And then the old hag came to play. Spent the next twenty to thirty minutes in the ladies at the local shitting liquid fire. On the up side, I did discover that there were thirty one visable screws on the inside of the cubical door, five different sorts/sizes. To make it even sadder, I could name the different types of screws, and could recognise that they were most likely stainless steel. Drove everyone home, took imodium, and curled up and cried for a little while until The Bill started and made everything slightly better.
Saturday night was hell. Didn't get to sleep until after 11, then the insomniac came out to party at about 2:30 and didn't go home again until after 4:30. My body then proceeded to wake me up before 7. So Sunday was spent wandering around aimlessly, doing the odd bit of crochet and the odd bit of reading, before dying at 7:30. On the upside, I did sleep alright last night. Very tired today though, and rather achey in my eyes, trouble focusing too, but I'm getting used to that.
Must go and pick up a script this afternoon for the Salofalk. Mum dropped it off on Friday but the chemist didn't bother telling her he didn't have any, so I trudged over there Friday afternoon to pick it up and no such luck. Didn't think to tell him while I was there to fill the enemas and the other prednisone, so will have to leave my script there again today so he can fill them. He annoys me with things. This is the second time he's done it to me (not had the stuff and not bothered to tell me) since starting all the new meds, and he stuffed up the dosage (would have had me taking 90mg of prednisone rather than the prescribed 40mg).... Not terribly happy about it all, and I'm placing bets he won't have the enemas (again). Bah humbug.
Still no kitten.
Friday night was sleepy time. Seriously, 12 hours of beautiful sleep. I loved every minute of it. Yeah sure, woke up a few times, but it was the simple roll over and go back to sleep moments, not the ah Gods the pain! moments. They seem to be fading. Maybe it was just my body getting used to the meds. I hope!
Saturday wasn't feeling too brilliant, just a coldy thing still, but decided I was shopping. Damnit, I need something to keep my sanity. It resulted in a few new bits of yarn, a new mug (which says "If I knit fast enough does it count as exercise?"), a recipe book for Crohn's, Colitis, Celiac (can't spell it, but hey), and IBS. Some nice looking recipes in there, but it's all based on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, and most of what I've heard says to take that one with a rather large grain of salt. That, and I can't stand any diet that says I can't have potato. :) Also ended up with another Kimmi Doll, Kaori. Strength. She's one of the ones I've been looking for, so I was quite stoked to find her. Was also informed while I was there by the guy behind the counter that new ones are hitting the store this week, which is awesome because I believe a few of the ones I haven't been able to find are because they're new. I know it can be viewed as wasted money, but it's just something to keep my head up. While it's easy to say to yourself to be strong, and to have faith and belief in yourself, it's a lot harder to actually maintain this, particularly when you're curled up crying on the floor. But having a physical representation of these things kinda helps because you see it through the tears and you stop for a sec to think on it, and that sec turns into a minute and that minute keeps going and it reminds you of what you need to do. At least that's how it works for me, so I view it as a worthwhile waste of money. :)
Saturday night my parents, brother and I went to one of our locals for dinner in celebration of my brother's birthday. They do amazing pizza there, so we got a supreme, meat lovers, and a bbq chicken one to split between the four of us, along with garlic bread. My gods they were delicious, particularly the chicken one. Bbq sauce, chicken, sweet chilli sauce, sour cream.... I think there may have been mushroom on it too. Enjoyed it, and even managed to sit back a few minutes to fully appreciate a good meal. And then the old hag came to play. Spent the next twenty to thirty minutes in the ladies at the local shitting liquid fire. On the up side, I did discover that there were thirty one visable screws on the inside of the cubical door, five different sorts/sizes. To make it even sadder, I could name the different types of screws, and could recognise that they were most likely stainless steel. Drove everyone home, took imodium, and curled up and cried for a little while until The Bill started and made everything slightly better.
Saturday night was hell. Didn't get to sleep until after 11, then the insomniac came out to party at about 2:30 and didn't go home again until after 4:30. My body then proceeded to wake me up before 7. So Sunday was spent wandering around aimlessly, doing the odd bit of crochet and the odd bit of reading, before dying at 7:30. On the upside, I did sleep alright last night. Very tired today though, and rather achey in my eyes, trouble focusing too, but I'm getting used to that.
Must go and pick up a script this afternoon for the Salofalk. Mum dropped it off on Friday but the chemist didn't bother telling her he didn't have any, so I trudged over there Friday afternoon to pick it up and no such luck. Didn't think to tell him while I was there to fill the enemas and the other prednisone, so will have to leave my script there again today so he can fill them. He annoys me with things. This is the second time he's done it to me (not had the stuff and not bothered to tell me) since starting all the new meds, and he stuffed up the dosage (would have had me taking 90mg of prednisone rather than the prescribed 40mg).... Not terribly happy about it all, and I'm placing bets he won't have the enemas (again). Bah humbug.
Still no kitten.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)