Shakes and strawberries and fish, oh my!

Well damnit. Am attempting to lose the weight, as I've possibly made mention of a few times (or more than a few). Late December last year to Feb/March this year I was doing some shakes for breakkie and/or lunch. They were good, tasted nice, filled me up, started losing weight, yada yada yada.... (Celebrity Slim for anyone wondering) Sadly now, they're one of my biggest triggers for having a shitty day. Pun intended. So I have a drawer full of shakes that I pretty much can't use unless I want to dope myself up on Imodium (which is a God, all hail the mighty Imodium, bow down and offer your sacrifices...). Am exercising a bit though. And cutting back a lot on the junk food. Weights, crunches, and the stepper (could use a phone book, but have a smancy thing designed specifically for stepping on).....

Have discovered however that the old hag doesn't mind strawberries. Which is lovely, because I adore strawberries. Also have either tangerines or tangelos (bought them this morning, can't remember which they are) to try with it. Here's to hoping!

My little black moor has spots again, poor bugger. Meanwhile, he's proving himself to be the stubborn guts of the tank. I have different food for the catfish and the goldfish, so what does the black moor do? Eats the goldfish food, then hunts for the catfish food, finds it, and starts gorging himself on it, and ignoring me when I bash against the tank in an effort to get him to leave it alone. S'pose he takes after his owner a bit there... :)

My head's in an icky place lately. Home, work, being sick, just everything is getting on top of me. Trying to sort it out, currently failing epically.

Oh! Also! Do not try to beat up your work desk! Not only will it win that fight, but it will leave pretty colours on your knuckles. I may or may not know this from experience now... Colours include blue, black, purple and red. Still waiting for the yellow and green. :)

And I think I forgot to mention, finished the Twilight saga. Worth reading, even if it is just to laugh at the sparkly vampires. :D Gave it a five out of ten, mainly for the readability/page turner aspect of it. Good way to fill up your spare time for a few weeks.

Big red buttons...

So my finger is creeping all the more closer towards that giant red button with the word PANIC written on it in bold. Seriously, it's a matter of millimetres.

Still in pain today (whole shebang), but not quite as bad as over the weekend, so I've dragged myself in to work. Find out this morning that my boss (who's ironically enough off with a bad neck, hope he gets better) resigned last week. This bothers/worries me to a fair degree. I still know nothing about the industry I work in, and I rely heavily on him half the time to tell me what things are and how to do things. I'm a little worried that I'll look completely stupid once he's gone (in two weeks) as opposed to just slightly stupid. Then there's the Crohn's. He's been utterly fantastic with it. And the arthritis. Once he's gone I don't know how everyone else will deal with it.

Originally I remember I didn't enjoy this job. And then I got to know the people, and some of the people we deal with, and vaguely I'm getting to know what things are and what to expect. But really......

Pros of staying:
-Comfortable with people
-Easy with the Crohn's
-It's money

Pros of leaving:
-Can go on a holiday
-Can take some time to get fit(ter than I am now)
-Can take some time to get my head around things (I needed to do this months ago)
-Can (definitely) get a job that pays more
-Can (most likely) get a job closer to home (less money on transport, more money to save)
-Won't get stuck with a company that's going under
-Possibly better places for the Crohn's/arthritis
-Meet new people

Umm..... Actually not too sure why I'm still here, truth be told, looking at the above pros and cons. I think it's time I polish up the resume and push the big red panic button.

In other news.... Umm.... Not having a melt down today? Yet? Apart from the above stuff that is.

Am halfway through Breaking Dawn (last in the Twilight saga). Still enjoying it. Also managed to finish watching the Twilight movie. Definitely a case of don't judge a book by it's movie, but I suppose not entirely bad. Love Bella's Lullaby from it, plus the piano scene it's in. Otherwise I think I may be slightly indifferent to it.

My little black fish is nearly better. I think I'll be able to stop turning the water bright green in a few days. Am looking at getting a catfish for the tank too. Should help keep it cleaner. Mind, I'm getting used to cleaning it every second or third day (a little too often perhaps, but hey). Forgot to mention that I did manage to drag myself out on the weekend to a few fish shops. One of them is fantastic with the range in particular, including Nemo fish, and lion/scorpion fish, and starfish..... And they had huge tanks too which makes me itch even more to have a place of my own.

Erm.... Coffee tastes yucky without milk.

Also, Crohn's stuff..... Either chicken volevants (have no idea how to spell that) or apricot chicken severely disagree with me (even though I've previously said that apricot chicken goes okay). So sadly and with much regret, they both get added to the blacklist.

Awake? Maybe...

Mmmm coffee...... Swear I'll wake up soon. :)

So. As of last Thursday we're back down to three day weeks at work. Wish things would pick up again. Sure it's nice having a four day weekend, but I place a higher value on the money I'd otherwise be earning. Eh. As a result of the three day weeks again, and telling the parents about it, my fish (and the snail!) are now at home. :D Battle has been won. The war, however, continues. When I said about the three day weeks, mum suggested I might need to bring the fish home. Dad grumbled, but really, there wasn't all that much he could whinge about. So Monday arvo I drove them home, cringing every time I heard the swishing of water. Got them home and possibly because of a combination of the very little water I'd left in the tank and the whole moving gig, they sat there glaring at me refusing to move until I topped up their tank and turned it green again. They seemed happier then. White spots are shrinking a little which is a good sign. :)

Friday was spent sleeping in, shopping and reading. See, some of my friends have started up this book club thing, and they've invited me along. The book/series they're discussing at the next meet up is the Twilight saga. Up until Friday I had been avoiding everything to do with Twilight like the plague. I mean come on! My idea of vampires sticks very closely to the Bram Stoker/Anne Rice style. Meyer on the other hand....... Sparkling vampires? *shrug* Anyway. Thought, what the heck, and went and bought Twilight and started reading it once I got home. A few hours later I dragged myself somewhat reluctantly from it for dinner. Twilight was finished by Sunday morning (which is somewhat faster than I generally read). I now also own the rest of the books (am halfway through New Moon, spoilers for any of the books and I will not be a happy camper) as well as the dvd of Twilight. So I guess you could say that yes, I've jumped on the Twilight fandom band wagon. Though, I am not hopelessly in love with Edward. See, everytime I read or hear that name, I think of either Mr Ed (as in the talking horse) or Ed the loopy hyena from The Lion King, so you could possibly understand that I can't keep a straight face while reading. :D I am rather enjoying the books though, especially seeing as I was never going to so much as touch them.

Anyhoo. Saturday saw me bugger off to Sydney, just for the drive. Made it there, had lunch, came home. Half way home the dizzy and the nausea kicked in, so it made travelling at 110/hr and staying in one lane quite a challenge. Got back home(ish) and went to a coffee shop in dire need of coffee. Revived myself, then wandered to the new liquor store and bought Bundy and some random scotch that was cheap. I now have a well stocked liquor cupboard. Went home and died a little.

Slept from 11:30 to 2:30 on Saturday night, all of that interrupted by quite a big lot of pain, mostly coming from my stomach. Bitch.

Sunday saw me stagger to the shops for ginger anti-nausea stuff, the rest of the Twilight stuff, and powerboards for my fish tank filter/light. Also saw a small birthday thing with the family, then to bed early. Presents involved jewellry, a snazzy comfy computer chair (which rocks, quite literally, as well as being awesome), and a new alarm clock/radio.

And then Monday rocked around. Yay, birthday, am now 22. Felt much older than I am, mostly because I was aching everywhere. Worked, and did all the normal everyday stuff. In all, birthday was an ordinary day, but hey. It was okay. Took the fish home (as mentioned above), and enjoyed a few drinks (the nausea and dizzy held off on my birthday, how nice of them...).

Yesterday, felt like crap. Arthritis causing issues, tiredness, cold, nausea, dizziness.... Got home at quarter to five and went to bed (okay, so I was reading, but I was still in bed trying not to throw up).

Today? Eh. It's barely started. My hips hurt, quite a bit actually, and my fingers and wrists are twinging a bit. Back's aching a tad, knee and ankle.... Can't feel my toes, they're too cold. Coffee.... isn't registering yet. Perhaps I need another one? Or maybe I just need to go home before I can't drive... Eh.