Sleep! Wonderful sleep!

Friday saw me trundle off to work. Also saw me trundle back home less than an hour later. Feeling pukey, dizzy, sore throat, ears blocked, nose blocked, coughing. The whole shebang. Curled up and watched Weeds. Instant fixer-upper, though a bit of a downer when I realised I have no more new episodes to watch. I believe I may have tried to read at some point too. Took a sleeping tablet and passed out at 8:30 or so, didn't wake up until 8 the next morning when the phone woke me up. Call not for me, was slightly grumpy at being woken up and proceeded to doze for another hour or so.

Saturday saw me wander to Bunnings (giant big hardware store of goodness!) despite feeling like complete and utter crap. Found the paint section and proceeded to gather any piece of paper that had a pretty colour on it (read: bright colours). See, I want my own place one day, but am getting impatient with the whole waiting until I have a deposit saved. Getting paint chips reminds me that I need the deposit in order to get my own place in order to paint it with said pretty colours. Went home, sat and crocheted for the afternoon. Blanket is vaguely happening. Had another sleeping tablet after The Bill (British drama-y goodness, oh how I love it!) and didn't wake up for ten and a half hours. Lovely!

Yesterday I felt a bit better (yay! Happy dance!) and went out again (the answer to "Do I ever have a day where I don't go out?" is "Yes, once in a blue moon"). Found fun comfy chairs to play with (seriously, when did office chairs become good enough that you can use them as an arm chair AND a rocking chair?), the camera I want for over $100 less than RRP (will buy after next pay day. Insert happy squealing here!), and horseshoe gramma (makes for delicious pies made by mum).

No sleeping tablets, and thus today I've been awake since 3am. Insomnia is a bitch that I would like to slaughter. Can't have slaughter without laughter...... Ahem. Have had coffee. Much. Very strong. Am awake. Really. But on the bright side, I do feel somewhat better today. While I'm still dizzy, my nose is unblocked enough that I can breathe through it, and my ears seem to be unblocking occasionally, which is awesome for hearing.

My fish appreciated a water change. And I proceeded to dye their water green again. :D Worried about my little black one. Still has the white spot on his side. Not sure if it might be getting bigger too.... New plants are in order I think too. Next pay day.... Running slightly low on money this fortnight. That's what I get for trying to save and spend at the same time.

This is me, giving Crohn's and arthritis the finger.

So I'm fed up of not being able to do things because I'm too sore, from one or the other of Crohn's or arthritis. Absolutely fed up. So I'm giving them both the finger and saying stuff you to them both. To start my protest against them both (possibly moreso the arthritis right now), this weekend I have: cooked. Twice. Been shopping. Multiple times. Exercised! 45 minutes on the Wii, mostly boxing. I won't move tomorrow, but it'll be worth it. I have also eaten copious amounts of things that are bad for me (both weight wise and making-me-poop wise, see bolognese and burritos).

Shopping, I finally caved, admitted I'm fat (like the giant purple stretch marks weren't a give away...), and went into the shop I've not had to go into before. The plus size shop. Albeit the plus size shop with pretty things. Just one issue I have with the place (apart from not wanting to be plus size), is that it seems plus size stores assume that because you are large, you have extra money. Ie, a shirt that you could buy in a size 16 in a regular store may cost say $15 to $20. Maybe $25 at a push. Take same shirt (even same size because that's what size the clothes start at there) and put it in the plus size store, and bam! $50 thankyou. I'm not kidding! Cheapest thing I got was $50. I spent nearly $200 and walked away with a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a kaftan. Normally I would pay no more than $60 for the lot. But hey. I bit the bullet, I've admitted I'm fat, I found some clothes that I can wear at the moment while my pudge is doing the whole white rolly fat thing, and in the meantime I can work my backside off and try to get to where I want to be (a whole few sacks of potatoes lighter).

As mentioned, have also cooked this weekend. Carrot cake came out lovely. Nice and moist, tasting of cinnamon, and yeah. Quite please with first effort at one of my fave cakes. Also cooked dinner last night, a Jamie Oliver recipe titled "The best chicken and sweet leak pie with flakey pastry". Didn't turn it into a pie, left it rather as a stew (filling without the pie) as the recipe said you could, and served it with potato, pumpkin and peas, and did some puff pastry squares in the oven to go on top. Went down well, with even my brother (world title of fussy eater could be held by him) saying he liked it and I can make it again. Just as well 'cause the amount I made (one quantity, supposed to feed four) made enough for two meals for the four of us. Oops. But it was nice.

For anyone interested, the recipe is in his Jamie's Dinners book. Bloody fantastic book, well worth the buy.

Have also started knitting a scarf, much to my fingers' disgust. But I figure, they already bloody hurt (as do my hips, knees, back, etc, etc), so why the hell not? In theory, can't make them worse...

Found season three of Weeds on dvd (finally!) the other day as well, so bought it and have been getting my fix. Note: I do not promote the use of any drugs other than those prescribed by a doctor, Western or traditional. Except for, of course, my beloved Bundy rum. :) And even then, drink only in moderation people!!! Too much is bad.

Update

Dear Gods my hip has decided to try and murder me in the most painful way it can possibly manage. Gargh! Knee is occasionally joining in on the attack. Bitches.

Despite this, I have managed to cook in the new kitchen. Go me! Carrot cake for the first time ever. I love a nice carrot cake, so hopefully this one will be nice. Dry ones suck quite badly, but a moist one is delicious.

Also managed to head to the shops and buy new ugg boots and a fish tank for my fishies. They're spoilt. Classy tank it is, and I snagged a free underwater camera with it. Albeit a cheapy, but hey. I won't argue with free stuff, particularly with what I paid for the tank! My hip did hate me while I drove though, and more than once I was seeing stars. Not really a good sign.

Crohn's wise, my butt's settled down, but we'll see how it goes. Burritos (the pretend kit ones available in Oz) for dinner tonight. Nice, and I do enjoy them, but absolutely nothing beats the real thing. Seriously, there are days where I would pay $100 just to get my hands on a proper burrito made by a Mexican. No one else can make real burritos. Really.

Cold is still attacking me. Hate for it. Much hate. Anyone want a cold? Free to a good home! Any home actually....

Damn. I now have a giant fish tank in my shoebox all weekend. :P

*Insert obscenities here*

So yesterday right? Dad cooked dinner. Nothing wrong with that, dad usually cooks dinner, and it's usually something I enjoy and tastes great. No exception last night, fantastic bolognese. Enjoyed it greatly. At least, while I was eating it I did. Slept kinda alright, nothing to indicate anything was wrong.

Today, woke up, went to the shops. Felt mildy off, couldn't quite put my finger on it though. Coped alright, and then came home and had lunch. Maybe around 1 or 2 this afternoon though? Liquid. And slime. And blood. Expletives go here. Three Imodium later, and I'm still not sitting entirely comfortable. Blood could possibly have just been from a split (my butt seems to be doing a good job of getting those lately), but it was a fair amount if that were the case. Mind, it has eased, so I'm crossing everything I can and hoping that's what's going on. Still vaguely slimed up and liquidy. In any case, bolognese is now a definite no-no. *sad face goes here* I quite enjoy a nice bolognese.

Joint wise, fingers aren't quite as bad as they were yesterday, though still twinging occasionally. At the moment/most of today it's been my hips that are causing the biggest problem. My back and knees and such are twinging a bit too, but hey. Oh, and I got woken up by yet another shite of a cramp in my leg, this time my left one. Funny how before all these meds started I'd only ever had one cramped leg in my entire life, and since starting the meds they've been occurring quite regularly. Extremely painful, both physically and mentally (I need some uninterrupted sleep, damnit!).

Unrelated to the Crohn's or arthritis.....

Bought another soapstone hippo today at the Oxfam fairtrade store. This one's for on my desk at work. Also bought two cds (rainforest and Aussie bush sounds) at Australian Geographic, and bought a soft foam ball thing that looks like the earth for my brother. Think he likes it. Not sure. *shrug*

The rainforest cd is good- calming, relaxing. Quite enjoying it. Had it on for a while ealier with a candle going. Worked on some of those things to stick up on the wall again this afternoon. Seriously, I've now got those motivational bits stuck up on my wardrobe door, and they're unmissable from anywhere in my shoebox of a room. Told you I meant to do it! :P Mind, I did promptly ignore most of them and eat pizza for dinner (let's see how that goes tomorrow....).

Meds and Money

Went and saw the GI yesterday after work. Things seem to be going okay. Inflammatory markers are within normal/close to normal. At the request of the rhumy, the Pred has been reduced. Instead of 40mg a day, I'm now on 30mg for a week, then 25mg for a week, then down to 20mg. I stay at that until I see the GI again, in about a month. Am somewhat stoked about this, just still scared that I won't be able to be weaned off it completely.

There was also talk about Infliximab as opposed to Humira. It was mentioned in the letter the rhumy sent the GI, so I guess that's the one they're going to aim for. It also seems the rhumy will be the one dealing with that, because while there's hoops to jump through either way, it seems for the arthritis they're just hoops, but for the Crohn's it appears they like to douse them in flammable liquid and set them on fire. Oh, and maybe blindfold you for good measure too. Not so sure about the Infliximab, but will worry about it when they're actually going to put me on it.

Am sore today. Elbows, shoulders/upper back, and my fingers are going too. Worried slightly that it could be from the drop in Pred. Will have to keep an eye on it. Am very tired too. Need sleep.

Support group tonight. Hoping to make it. We'll see.

Payday tomorrow. And late night shopping on Thursday. There's a shirt I've seen somewhere, and despite it being $70 I can't get it out of my head, I think I'm going to go and get it. Or at least try it on. :)
Plants may or may not be going to appear on my work desk. Am leaning towards those small bamboo plants in the pretty pots, just for ease of looking after, and also because I have a rather not so green thumb. Seriously, I have managed to kill every single plant I've owned, and that's saying a fair bit seeing as the only plants I've ever had have all been cacti.
Am also going to spoil my fish. They've been swimming around in an unfiltered, 6 litre bowl since I got them, along with the two or three plants (which I might add, they've finally stopped uprooting!). There's a tank I'm looking at getting them and setting up over the weekend which is significantly bigger (20 litres), and includes a filter and (I think!) a light. Will also get more plants for them, a different brand of weekend feeders (they're fussy buggers and won't eat the current ones I get for them), and maybe a statue or two for decoration. If they're lucky they might get some live food too. :) See? I'm a good pet owner.

Gargh hands hurt!

Lotsa blather

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have forgotten how to fly. Don't remember where I read that originally, but it couldn't be truer.

So. Thursday arvo, promptly fell apart. Friday, dragged myself to work, then kidnapped a few of my friends from a bus stop and went to the shops with them. Ended up with awesome hugs, and bought myself a few cook books and another Kimmi Doll (Kioko - Happiness), along with shampoo and conditioner that were half price (awesome!). Got home and enjoyed the peace and quiet of my brother being away. Didn't fall apart on Friday.

Saturday, went shopping. Had intended on finding clothes. Failed. Bought almost everything else under the sun though. Borders was attacked (Bloodhound - Tamora Pierce, some other book, and the most recent Jamie Oliver magazine), and I found a new handbag. All of mine are giant giant things which are awesome when shopping because you can fit half a house in them, but not so awesome for sitting on the floor when at a restaurant. So I found myself a new, small one that fits the necessities in and nothing else. Also went to the Oxfam shop and bought a little soapstone hippo statue thingy (I loved hippos as a child, they were my favourite animal and I still have a certain degree of respect for them). Bought presents for a friend too as it was her birthday. Was dead to the world and in a degree of pain by lunchtime/when I got home, but doped myself up and went to friend's dinner/birthday event. Indian food was nice, got a mild chicken thing in a creamy tomato sauce, then because I felt the most mild of rumblings doped myself up immediately on Imodium. Did spend a bit of time worried on Sunday and yesterday, and also needed more Imodium on Sunday, though not sure if this was from Indian food or other food from Sunday morning. Also did not fall apart on Saturday.

Sunday I was dead. And fell apart a little. Also caught up with a friend who is going overseas this week for a few months because her daughter is having a baby (daughter lives overseas, she's not running away from being a grandma).

Yesterday was okay pain wise, although my stomach did go a bit special later on, just random stabby pains that I've gotten used to over the years, though lately they've been hanging around and a bit more annoying. Back also started hurting later on too and thus went to bed with a horrid back ache. Was however the first day in a week or more that I hadn't required pain killers.

Today, very sore, particularly in fingers/wrists, and very very tired. Hate being so tired. And my stomach's still being special.

Also a bit cold, though this has something to do with my shawl thinger laying on my bag in the corner. Was wearing it, but the boss has decided since seeing me in it that my name is Poncho. My name isn't Poncho, and would appreciate not being called it, so I figure if I don't wear the shawl, he might forget.

So my day's going downhill a little. Tired, sore, cold, and getting slightly more cranky and irritable by the minute. Gods help everyone I work with by the end of the day.

My fish are currently enjoying some new plants and some new shiny colourful stones in their bowl (enjoying that is, just as soon as they got over their confusion). No kitten, though I nearly bought both from the pet store when they meowed at me. ;P