Logic occurs occasionally!

I haven't really said much of value lately, have I? Haven't really been feeling that fantastic either though, today's probably my first day of very vaguely normal headspace in a week or two.

Crohn's wise, I'm utterly over it. Fed up to the eyeballs and just want it to go the hell away. Still not quite comprehending the "This is the problem, there's no cure" thing, though now when those thoughts roll through my mind it genuinely feels as though I've smacked myself up against a brick wall, as opposed to the previous drowning in the middle of the ocean with nothing to grab on to. Still having shockers of days, just falling apart and struggling a lot in trying to pull myself back together.

Pain wise, I'm getting headaches every day which require pain meds. Also the apparently arthritic pain keeps rocking up, mostly in my finger, wrists, knee and hip. Am also getting abdominal pain every day, it's just a lottery as to whether it'll be there all day or whether it'll wait off until the evening, and also as to which specific point it'll be (I've worked out there's five places, and a combination of any or all of the above). Then there's the general tummy ache that's all over (much rarer than the abdo pain), and then there's the "I've been shitting liquid all day" tummy and back pain (so much fun, but at least rarer than the general tummy pain).

Side effects: Extremely tired. And I mean extremely. Suffer from chronic fatigue as a result of glandular fever/mono a few years back. Managed to get on top of that with Bowen therapy (seriously, a godsend, try it!), but now the fatigue is just as bad, if not worse (thanks Imuran!). Not to mention nausea and dizziness.

Also still getting funny vision/trouble focusing, the odd chest pain (pick a side), vagueness, the shakes, and random cramping sensations. Still phoning the doctor weekly to find out if the Imuran is killing my liver (it's not, and while I think of it I did get to yay about not having diabetes [go me!]), still getting weekly blood tests. Go to see doctor next Monday again. Bah humbug. Just more time, and more money that I've got to somehow find.

Food: Keeping up the dairy intake, particularly milk, seeing as it seems to be going okay with me (possibly giving me gas and a rumbly tummy, but not shooting straight through which is fantastic). I like my bones not breaking thanks! Quiche is going well, so one of those gets had of a morning as a rule. Oats are also awesome (when I'm not randomly dropping the bowl). Red Rooster sadly still remains the demon in disguise.

In completely different news. My fish are being fish (shock horror!). And are currently expecting me to feed them (I think!). I love my little black one! It's cute, and has boggly eyes. *cuteness goes here* There's still no kitten in my bottom drawer, and sadly the two at the pet shop were sold on the weekend so there goes getting one of them and putting it in there. :P

I am in possession of my Firefly dvds again, so I'm back to getting my kicks from that. Also going through many of the books that I've started reading then stopped and am getting time to read them. My evenings exist of getting home, having a drink, having dinner, going to bed and reading for half hour or so, clonking out stone cold/thrashing and crashing for hours until I fall into a fitful sleep (the meds like to vary it for me :S). I'm such a boring person.

Tired, cold induced blather.

Urgh. I am coldy/fluey at the moment. Achey, sniffly, head feels like a bunch of wet soggy newspaper glued to the inside of my skull.... The first person who says it's swine flu will be shot. Seriously, that's all I'm reading in the news at the moment. "Blah, blah, blah, swine flu, blah blah, swine flu, blah oh look swine flu". It'll go away. Just like the bird flu did. Besides, what I have is more likely a cold than the flu. *defensiveness over and out*

Joint pain still bugging me, particularly in my fingers, wrists and knees. Also, the pain I get in my jaw is starting to worry me a bit. It happens after eating a normal size meal (small bits and pieces are okay), or when I have something warm then something cold (ie, hot food followed by a mouthful of drink). Rather painful and tight and very uncomfortable and I'm not entirely sure that I'm meant to be experiencing it.

My parents must be magic. No, really. We had pizza last night for dinner, just after I had been musing over how it would go (okay, so it was a day or two later, but hey. Magic sounds better). Eagle Boys pizza gets a big thumbs up!!! I can eat pizza! Whoo!! Just not pub pizza at the local. *sad face goes here* But I can eat pizza!

Sleep is being interupted. I don't quite know which is more annoying, the waking up and staying awake for hours on end, or the waking up every hour or two throughout the night like I have been lately. Possibly that, because at least if I'm awake for a few hours I get deep sleep either side of it and I can do stuff during the time I'm awake. Waking up regularly is sucky because there's no deep sleep and nothing gets done.

My eyes are bothering me. Still just the general blurry/hard to focus crap. It's not made much better by eight hours in front of a computer every day. My computer at home doesn't get turned on during the week anymore. Poor thing. I just don't have a need for it at the moment. By the end of the day my eyes hate me.

Coherency is also still out the window somewhat. Typing gets redone, backspaced, deleted. Talking comes out half gibberish half the time. Sometimes I just shouldn't talk. Sometimes I can't. That's fun. And others I can't think of simple words, like desk and chair and window. They get replaced with "thing" and pointed to.

Off to get blood tests again this afternoon. I get to see the meany person next Tuesday after work and he wants blood tests done. Hate needles. Hate doctors. Hate afternoon traffic. Grrr....

On the upside, I have less than a week before I tell the doctor that either he takes me off the enemas or I take myself off them. I've had enough of them, I really have. They're time consuming, always uncomfortable, often painful, sometimes to the point of wiping out all messages my brain is trying to send to my body, and quite honestly, I'm fed up of having things shoved the wrong way up my butt. Not. Happy. Jan.

I'm to the point now where I tend to end up laughing a bit, because otherwise I'll cry. And I don't even try to stop my brain coming out with silly things. Like this morning, when my first thought upon entering the bathroom was, "Let's see what the Pimple Fairy left for us today". I tend to be a bit more sensible than that, but no. Sensible? Out the window! Clearly, my brain recognises that I need amusement above anything else, particularly at that hour of the morning.

Poo is back to it's usual self (by usual, I mean that which it has been more often than not in the past couple of weeks). No slime (thank the Gods!), no blood. Maybe it was just a one off, catch up/retaliation for the MacDonalds? Hoping so. And yes readers, I will proceed to talk occasionally about poo, farts and all things gross involving the gut and the butt. Have fun reading!

No kitten. I'm sure I'll eventually get tired of looking. In a year or two. :P