So today I'm at work. And my hands work! Yay! As weird as it was yesterday with my hands in agony, it's just as weird that they've done a complete turn around today. Though, I've been typing, and using the mouse, and playing with the blue tack, so I'm expecting they'll be sore later.
Point of this post is that I just had a call from the rhumy's office and they can fit me in tomorrow at 12:30 as opposed to some random date in August, so yay! My boss's response when I told him? "Haha, you'll miss out on the barbeque!" Did I mention previously that my work place is very good with it all? *does a happy dance* Pain relief, here I come!
Meanwhile, last night was a bitch. Went to sleep about 10 or so, woke up at 12 with the sweats. And insomnia. A chapter of Harry Potter and three hours later I finally managed to get back to sleep. Only to wake up again at 5:30 and notice the sweats had continued through the night, despite throwing everything off and freezing. Eh. Can sleep tonight and tomorrow arvo.
No kitten in my drawer. ;D There is a coffee in front of me however, so this nearly makes up for it.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Update through the pain...
So. Attempting to block out the pain while I'm typing....
Went to see the doc yesterday. This time dad came with me. I was amazed at the difference in the doctor this time. He's gone from being Doctor Useless to Doctor Informative or Doctor Caring in the snap of a finger. Maybe he's a bit old school and prefers to talk to blokes. *shrug goes here* Dunno, but it was much better. Anyways. Blood tests and pee tests done last week indicate that there is no rhuematoid arthiritis present, however he did say that the arthitis you can get with Crohn's mimicks it rather than actually being RA. So he's trying to get me in to see a rhuematologist. Was going to phone him today and get back to me today (see below). Also said he won't put me back on the Imuran seeing as the headaches are gone (or at least much better now), which indicates that it was the Imuran causing them. Sadly, this means longer on the Pred, and no backing off it at the moment. It also means he needs to come up with an action plan or something of the sort in conjunction with the rhuematologist in order to treat the arthritis, and also look at getting me onto Humira, which would be awesome in a/treating the Crohn's, and b/getting me the hell off the Pred. No pain relief prescribed. :(
Woke up with my hands still in a degree of agony today. Don't quite understand why as I rested them all day yesterday. Still. Got sorted, went to work. In pain. And it continued to get worse. I lasted 45 minutes before asking if I could leave. Very grateful to the people I work with, very understanding.
About to leave, and my boss had a chat with me. Apparently there was a meeting yesterday which I missed about our work hours and such. Nothing to do with my medical stuff, but because we've had bugger all work coming through lately everyone's being cut back to a three day week instead of the normal five day week. Not hugely shocked by it, well, surprised a little, but it has been extremely quiet. Just a little worried about money and such. Mind, it's not as though I'm capable of working a five day week at the moment with my hands how they are anyway. Just wondering how things'll go with less money, more time to spend it, and more things that I'll have to spend it on. Hopefully things'll go okay.
Was driving home this morning and my phone rang. Doc had phoned the rhuematologist (rhumy from now on because my hands hurt and my spelling is probably wrong). Unfortunately, a/ rhumy wasn't in office until this arvo, and b/he's not able to see anyone until August. AUGUST!!!! That's six to eight weeks of agony before I even get to see the guy! Doc did say however before I could get upset with him (not his fault, I know, I was just starting to goggle over a 6 week wait) that he would write a letter to him, fax it through, and would contact me again tomorrow in the hope of getting me in quite a bit sooner. So hopefully tomorrow I'll have some good news. All I know is I can't survive the pain for that long without some form of relief.
So yeah. Not a fantastic day really. Very very painful, and I'll still not sure why. They're normally a bit better after a day of rest, but they've gone the other way. Stupid hands. Anyone like to trade for a bit? Also, coldy gunk kicked back in a little while ago, so feeling all gluggy in the head and nose too. Blergh. It's raining. Which would possibly add to a bad mood, but I like the rain, so it's a positive. As a result of the hands though, I have spent the day mooching in front of the tv (it hurts to hold a book right now). Dvd of 300, then Dr Phil (crap show, but hey), then Oprah (wow mid day tv is just so exciting!), then Ready Steady Cook (a show I actually don't mind). And now this. Despite the agony, it needs typing. I'm sure there's one or two people at least who read this and possibly want to know what I'm doing, and it helps me keep track of things, so yeah. It is important.
And because I'm only going to be at work three days a week and probably home the other four, I'm looking to bring my fish home rather than on my desk. I'll get a plant or something that's easier to look after if others have to water it or whatever. It also means the fish can have a bigger tank (scrap that, they get a tank as opposed to a bowl), and a filter (zomg!), and if they can behave and stop pulling their plants out then I might get them some more of those too. Spoilt fish they are. ;D But they're cute, so they're worth it.
Went to see the doc yesterday. This time dad came with me. I was amazed at the difference in the doctor this time. He's gone from being Doctor Useless to Doctor Informative or Doctor Caring in the snap of a finger. Maybe he's a bit old school and prefers to talk to blokes. *shrug goes here* Dunno, but it was much better. Anyways. Blood tests and pee tests done last week indicate that there is no rhuematoid arthiritis present, however he did say that the arthitis you can get with Crohn's mimicks it rather than actually being RA. So he's trying to get me in to see a rhuematologist. Was going to phone him today and get back to me today (see below). Also said he won't put me back on the Imuran seeing as the headaches are gone (or at least much better now), which indicates that it was the Imuran causing them. Sadly, this means longer on the Pred, and no backing off it at the moment. It also means he needs to come up with an action plan or something of the sort in conjunction with the rhuematologist in order to treat the arthritis, and also look at getting me onto Humira, which would be awesome in a/treating the Crohn's, and b/getting me the hell off the Pred. No pain relief prescribed. :(
Woke up with my hands still in a degree of agony today. Don't quite understand why as I rested them all day yesterday. Still. Got sorted, went to work. In pain. And it continued to get worse. I lasted 45 minutes before asking if I could leave. Very grateful to the people I work with, very understanding.
About to leave, and my boss had a chat with me. Apparently there was a meeting yesterday which I missed about our work hours and such. Nothing to do with my medical stuff, but because we've had bugger all work coming through lately everyone's being cut back to a three day week instead of the normal five day week. Not hugely shocked by it, well, surprised a little, but it has been extremely quiet. Just a little worried about money and such. Mind, it's not as though I'm capable of working a five day week at the moment with my hands how they are anyway. Just wondering how things'll go with less money, more time to spend it, and more things that I'll have to spend it on. Hopefully things'll go okay.
Was driving home this morning and my phone rang. Doc had phoned the rhuematologist (rhumy from now on because my hands hurt and my spelling is probably wrong). Unfortunately, a/ rhumy wasn't in office until this arvo, and b/he's not able to see anyone until August. AUGUST!!!! That's six to eight weeks of agony before I even get to see the guy! Doc did say however before I could get upset with him (not his fault, I know, I was just starting to goggle over a 6 week wait) that he would write a letter to him, fax it through, and would contact me again tomorrow in the hope of getting me in quite a bit sooner. So hopefully tomorrow I'll have some good news. All I know is I can't survive the pain for that long without some form of relief.
So yeah. Not a fantastic day really. Very very painful, and I'll still not sure why. They're normally a bit better after a day of rest, but they've gone the other way. Stupid hands. Anyone like to trade for a bit? Also, coldy gunk kicked back in a little while ago, so feeling all gluggy in the head and nose too. Blergh. It's raining. Which would possibly add to a bad mood, but I like the rain, so it's a positive. As a result of the hands though, I have spent the day mooching in front of the tv (it hurts to hold a book right now). Dvd of 300, then Dr Phil (crap show, but hey), then Oprah (wow mid day tv is just so exciting!), then Ready Steady Cook (a show I actually don't mind). And now this. Despite the agony, it needs typing. I'm sure there's one or two people at least who read this and possibly want to know what I'm doing, and it helps me keep track of things, so yeah. It is important.
And because I'm only going to be at work three days a week and probably home the other four, I'm looking to bring my fish home rather than on my desk. I'll get a plant or something that's easier to look after if others have to water it or whatever. It also means the fish can have a bigger tank (scrap that, they get a tank as opposed to a bowl), and a filter (zomg!), and if they can behave and stop pulling their plants out then I might get them some more of those too. Spoilt fish they are. ;D But they're cute, so they're worth it.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I'm a little teapot....
Not really, but I am going slowly but surely insane.
Just a note, odd bit of pee and poop discussion to follow. Good, bad, and ugly. :P
Am off work today. Came home early yesterday and Friday. Spent most of the weekend unable to do anything. Hips, knees, ankles, wrists, hands and fingers all in agony. To the point where it hurt to hold a book, and I was dropping things. Bah humbug. Today, not in quite as much agony, but fingers, wrists and hands still sore, and the cold that's been working it's way into my system decided to gate crash today. Trouble hearing, glands puffy, head on vacation..... Blergh.
Meanwhile, I'm being a whingy whiney brat. Because I damn well can. Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself, because no 21 year old should have to deal with all this shite. And yes mum, I'm well aware that there are other people out there who are worse off than me. But also as I said to my mum, I don't give a rats about those people right now. Right now, I just want to indulge in a little bit of self pity, a little bit of woe is me, a little bit of "I feel like crap both physically and mentally and pardon me while I fall apart, can you pass me the superglue in a while?". One day, when I am feeling better, I'm sure I'll care about the rest of the world again.
Going to see the doc again this afternoon. Grumpy pants are on. He sent me to get blood tests done a few days ago, so I went on my way home from work on Friday. As you do, you pee before you leave, thinking you're only getting a jab in the arm. This is now the second time he's ordered me to pee in a jar and I've had to make yet another trip back in there while feeling like crap because he hasn't told me to hold it for the test. Blood test does not equal urine test. Urine test equals urine test. Blood test equals blood tests. I don't mind doing it, I would just appreciate knowing that I'm meant to be doing it so that I can hold it and thus pee on cue.
Apart from the whinging about his lack of telling me things I should know..... Will be talking to him about the pred while I'm there. I'm over it in a very big way. Yes, I do agree, it has most definitely helped quite dramatically. What used to result in me running and crapping liquid fire for half an hour, most often with blood and slime mixed in for artistic reasons (best reason I can think of, because there's nothing else logical.... Who would want a logical body?), now may just go "You need to find a loo yesterday" and then take some form of soft but solid, and rather rapid, escape from my butt.
So yeah, it's helped/helping, but at what cost? I've gained enough weight that my feet now live on my desk when I'm doing my shoes up. I can't bend far enough over to do them up without having great trouble breathing (as in can't breathe, end of story). Also, trouble wiping own butt because of weight. Managing, but difficult. Getting extremely puffed by things which shouldn't make me puffed (standing up for example). It doesn't help when kids turn around in their chairs and stare at you for a good thirty seconds then keep turning around to stare at you. Doesn't help when their parents don't bother to tell them that's rude either. The facial hair is bothering me a lot. It's to the point where I'm rather self conscious with it and I can't help but wonder if others can notice it too. There's the insomnia and complete and utter exhaustion too. I hate it. I'm dead to the world all day then when I go to bed, BAM! Wide awake. Over it. I'm fed up with the mood swings. Sure, others don't like it, but how the hell do they think I feel? I'm the one who can't control her emotions, and I'm also the one putting up with people screaming at me about it. Doesn't quite seem fair to deal with the problem, more problems to try and fix the problem, and people's (often bad) reactions to those problems. So yeah. Going to try and talk him into backing me off the pred. It's not nice, it's not pretty, and I've quite honestly had enough.
Hoping he'll send me to someone who can help with the joints. Wasn't able to drive on the weekend, and he won't give me painkillers that work (ie, tells me to take Panadiene [which isn't working] and gets cranky at me if I take Nurofen or Advil [only things that have any slight affect] because they're bad for Crohn's). Need something done. Can't drive, can't cook, can't knit... Hurts to brush my hair and teeth of a morning sometimes.
Tired of feeling like I'm letting people at work down too. I wasn't employed to sit at home in agony, I was employed to work, and I can't. Maybe I should just quit and let them hire someone who can do the job. Would be better for all involved I think.
Just a note, odd bit of pee and poop discussion to follow. Good, bad, and ugly. :P
Am off work today. Came home early yesterday and Friday. Spent most of the weekend unable to do anything. Hips, knees, ankles, wrists, hands and fingers all in agony. To the point where it hurt to hold a book, and I was dropping things. Bah humbug. Today, not in quite as much agony, but fingers, wrists and hands still sore, and the cold that's been working it's way into my system decided to gate crash today. Trouble hearing, glands puffy, head on vacation..... Blergh.
Meanwhile, I'm being a whingy whiney brat. Because I damn well can. Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself, because no 21 year old should have to deal with all this shite. And yes mum, I'm well aware that there are other people out there who are worse off than me. But also as I said to my mum, I don't give a rats about those people right now. Right now, I just want to indulge in a little bit of self pity, a little bit of woe is me, a little bit of "I feel like crap both physically and mentally and pardon me while I fall apart, can you pass me the superglue in a while?". One day, when I am feeling better, I'm sure I'll care about the rest of the world again.
Going to see the doc again this afternoon. Grumpy pants are on. He sent me to get blood tests done a few days ago, so I went on my way home from work on Friday. As you do, you pee before you leave, thinking you're only getting a jab in the arm. This is now the second time he's ordered me to pee in a jar and I've had to make yet another trip back in there while feeling like crap because he hasn't told me to hold it for the test. Blood test does not equal urine test. Urine test equals urine test. Blood test equals blood tests. I don't mind doing it, I would just appreciate knowing that I'm meant to be doing it so that I can hold it and thus pee on cue.
Apart from the whinging about his lack of telling me things I should know..... Will be talking to him about the pred while I'm there. I'm over it in a very big way. Yes, I do agree, it has most definitely helped quite dramatically. What used to result in me running and crapping liquid fire for half an hour, most often with blood and slime mixed in for artistic reasons (best reason I can think of, because there's nothing else logical.... Who would want a logical body?), now may just go "You need to find a loo yesterday" and then take some form of soft but solid, and rather rapid, escape from my butt.
So yeah, it's helped/helping, but at what cost? I've gained enough weight that my feet now live on my desk when I'm doing my shoes up. I can't bend far enough over to do them up without having great trouble breathing (as in can't breathe, end of story). Also, trouble wiping own butt because of weight. Managing, but difficult. Getting extremely puffed by things which shouldn't make me puffed (standing up for example). It doesn't help when kids turn around in their chairs and stare at you for a good thirty seconds then keep turning around to stare at you. Doesn't help when their parents don't bother to tell them that's rude either. The facial hair is bothering me a lot. It's to the point where I'm rather self conscious with it and I can't help but wonder if others can notice it too. There's the insomnia and complete and utter exhaustion too. I hate it. I'm dead to the world all day then when I go to bed, BAM! Wide awake. Over it. I'm fed up with the mood swings. Sure, others don't like it, but how the hell do they think I feel? I'm the one who can't control her emotions, and I'm also the one putting up with people screaming at me about it. Doesn't quite seem fair to deal with the problem, more problems to try and fix the problem, and people's (often bad) reactions to those problems. So yeah. Going to try and talk him into backing me off the pred. It's not nice, it's not pretty, and I've quite honestly had enough.
Hoping he'll send me to someone who can help with the joints. Wasn't able to drive on the weekend, and he won't give me painkillers that work (ie, tells me to take Panadiene [which isn't working] and gets cranky at me if I take Nurofen or Advil [only things that have any slight affect] because they're bad for Crohn's). Need something done. Can't drive, can't cook, can't knit... Hurts to brush my hair and teeth of a morning sometimes.
Tired of feeling like I'm letting people at work down too. I wasn't employed to sit at home in agony, I was employed to work, and I can't. Maybe I should just quit and let them hire someone who can do the job. Would be better for all involved I think.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I Wonder....
Currently there's no one special in my life. It's just me and my lonesome. And I can't help but wonder sometimes, who's going to want me? I wasn't exactly the prettiest person prior to the Crohn's- pastey white, on the chubby side and skin that had gone to hell in a handbasket. But I was working on that. The flab was slowly toning, and the white skin, well.... A few days in the sun would have fixed that. The psoraisis was the only thing I couldn't really get under control.
Now though, the weight's all piled back on, plus more. The first thing the doc did last time I saw him was weigh me. 88 kilos. That's about 28 kilos heavier than I wan't to be (note, actually want to be, not what is recommended. That's even lighter). The pred has packed weight on, and the cravings haven't helped. Pimples! Ugh! Enough already! And seriously, who's going to want a woman with a moustache and sideburns? They're seriously becoming an issue for me. Mum and Dad say they don't notice, but the hair's getting longer, and darker. I know it's vanity speaking there, but really. I shave my legs, not my face!
And apart from the vanity, there's the physical problems. There's the Crohn's itself. Really, who would want to deal with that? I don't, so how can I expect anyone else to? And then the joint troubles.... It's near to the point with my hips, knees and ankles that I possibly shouldn't be driving sometimes. And the hands? With the pain and the shakes there are days I can't do a damn thing.
I just can't help but get a little bit miserable thinking about it sometimes. A lot of the time these days, all I want is someone to be there, to give me a hug and tell me it's all going to be okay, and have the faith that it will be okay just because they said so. But how can I ask that of anyone? How could I inflict myself upon them?
Now though, the weight's all piled back on, plus more. The first thing the doc did last time I saw him was weigh me. 88 kilos. That's about 28 kilos heavier than I wan't to be (note, actually want to be, not what is recommended. That's even lighter). The pred has packed weight on, and the cravings haven't helped. Pimples! Ugh! Enough already! And seriously, who's going to want a woman with a moustache and sideburns? They're seriously becoming an issue for me. Mum and Dad say they don't notice, but the hair's getting longer, and darker. I know it's vanity speaking there, but really. I shave my legs, not my face!
And apart from the vanity, there's the physical problems. There's the Crohn's itself. Really, who would want to deal with that? I don't, so how can I expect anyone else to? And then the joint troubles.... It's near to the point with my hips, knees and ankles that I possibly shouldn't be driving sometimes. And the hands? With the pain and the shakes there are days I can't do a damn thing.
I just can't help but get a little bit miserable thinking about it sometimes. A lot of the time these days, all I want is someone to be there, to give me a hug and tell me it's all going to be okay, and have the faith that it will be okay just because they said so. But how can I ask that of anyone? How could I inflict myself upon them?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Update of sorts
So I made it to work on Wednesday. Took script for Salofalk to chemist after work. Went to pick it up and was told sorry, it won't be in until tomorrow. Fine, no worries.
Thursday, yesterday, off work again with the pain, so because sore hands equal uselessness, I got to sit there watching Oprah. Dear Gods. Mum also went to pick up the Salofalk and he'd only ordered one box instead of the two on the script. She also took me to a different (read better) chemist later on and I now have wrist strap/support thingers. They seem to help a little in that they keep body warmth in and that seems to limit the pain in the wrists a little, but they do nothing for the fingers, which is sad. Massive headaches yesterday, as well as worrying bouts of dizziness. Though, the nausea hasn't been back since I stopped the Imuran.
Today, I'm braving work again. Still sore, but I need the money, and a feel useless and unreliable by taking so much time off. Also have to drag myself back to the chemist today (day three of the Salofalk saga....) to get the second box. Won't be getting him to fill anymore scripts. There's been too many dramas with my meds that I'm just not happy with. Lucky there's a few others sort of nearby.
Out of sequence I know, but Tuesday night I went to the support group ran by CCA (Crohn's and Colitis Australia). First one in a few years that they've had. I think there were six or so of us there that had Crohn's or Colitis, one of whom bailed early with a look of terror on her face (her partner had a look of disgust on his). Three of us have the same doctor. It was good to be there. I wasn't sure at first if it would be worth it, but we basically just sat around sharing our experiences (which in my case is limited, but hey). It was interesting and actually really helpful to hear the others' stories, they all varied from a guy not much older than me to a retiree who had one of the first ops for it back in 1980 or 1981. I thought that because everyone with IBD has a different story that it would make me feel more alienated and more alone, but it did just the opposite, made me realise that there are others out there. Yeah, okay, I knew that, but meeting some of them made it a bit more real and a bit more dealable.
Am also thinking on doing some fundraising for CCA. Toying at the moment between a Krispey Kreme fundraiser thing (sort of like a lamington/pie drive), or selling my candles and the profits go to CCA (sort of a cheesy 'light at the end of the tunnel' thing if people need a link between candles and crappy bowels - pun intended). Fundraising would give me something to do, and also provide me with hope that maybe through me doing something there will be a cure in my lifetime. It's highly doubted, but one can hope, no?
Weekend, I will be attacking shops. Clothes, and also The Sims 3 came out in Oz yesterday, so I'll be hunting for that and hoping that places haven't sold out yet (yes, I'm a massive Sims geek).
Haven't really come accross any fantastic recipes lately, and the only real food discovery I've had is that store bought potato salad = bad. *shrug* Just means I have to make my own. What a shame. :P
Also, links below! ACCA is the old name for CCA, and the forum is fantastic, even for lurkers like me. ^_^
http://www.acca.net.au/
http://www.ibdaustralia.org/forums/index.php
Thursday, yesterday, off work again with the pain, so because sore hands equal uselessness, I got to sit there watching Oprah. Dear Gods. Mum also went to pick up the Salofalk and he'd only ordered one box instead of the two on the script. She also took me to a different (read better) chemist later on and I now have wrist strap/support thingers. They seem to help a little in that they keep body warmth in and that seems to limit the pain in the wrists a little, but they do nothing for the fingers, which is sad. Massive headaches yesterday, as well as worrying bouts of dizziness. Though, the nausea hasn't been back since I stopped the Imuran.
Today, I'm braving work again. Still sore, but I need the money, and a feel useless and unreliable by taking so much time off. Also have to drag myself back to the chemist today (day three of the Salofalk saga....) to get the second box. Won't be getting him to fill anymore scripts. There's been too many dramas with my meds that I'm just not happy with. Lucky there's a few others sort of nearby.
Out of sequence I know, but Tuesday night I went to the support group ran by CCA (Crohn's and Colitis Australia). First one in a few years that they've had. I think there were six or so of us there that had Crohn's or Colitis, one of whom bailed early with a look of terror on her face (her partner had a look of disgust on his). Three of us have the same doctor. It was good to be there. I wasn't sure at first if it would be worth it, but we basically just sat around sharing our experiences (which in my case is limited, but hey). It was interesting and actually really helpful to hear the others' stories, they all varied from a guy not much older than me to a retiree who had one of the first ops for it back in 1980 or 1981. I thought that because everyone with IBD has a different story that it would make me feel more alienated and more alone, but it did just the opposite, made me realise that there are others out there. Yeah, okay, I knew that, but meeting some of them made it a bit more real and a bit more dealable.
Am also thinking on doing some fundraising for CCA. Toying at the moment between a Krispey Kreme fundraiser thing (sort of like a lamington/pie drive), or selling my candles and the profits go to CCA (sort of a cheesy 'light at the end of the tunnel' thing if people need a link between candles and crappy bowels - pun intended). Fundraising would give me something to do, and also provide me with hope that maybe through me doing something there will be a cure in my lifetime. It's highly doubted, but one can hope, no?
Weekend, I will be attacking shops. Clothes, and also The Sims 3 came out in Oz yesterday, so I'll be hunting for that and hoping that places haven't sold out yet (yes, I'm a massive Sims geek).
Haven't really come accross any fantastic recipes lately, and the only real food discovery I've had is that store bought potato salad = bad. *shrug* Just means I have to make my own. What a shame. :P
Also, links below! ACCA is the old name for CCA, and the forum is fantastic, even for lurkers like me. ^_^
http://www.acca.net.au/
http://www.ibdaustralia.org/forums/index.php
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I like it when my hands work...
I'm having all sorts of fun typing right now, so this is going to be short, to the point, and unedited. Deal with the typos.
Came home form work on Friday unable to type and having all sorts of fun seeing. Hands/wrists/fingers in angony, eyes being special. Hands/wrists/fngers sore all weekedn, to the point where I had trouble lifting a soup sppoon on Sunday night. Yesterday was off work with the hands, same with today. Hurts a bit to type, though not as bad as Friady.
Yesterday, went and saw doctor. Hate scales. Hate that I'm gaining weight at a rapid rate of knots. He's taken me off the the Imuran to see if that gfets rid of the daily headaches. Hand pain could also be related so we'll see. He wanted to up the pred as well, but decided to wait and see. If pain still exists in two weeks I'll be off to visit an arthitis person. Fun! < / sarcasm >. Didn't feel dizzy/nauseas this morning. Interesting. No Imuran = no dizzy/nausea. Did have a headache though. :(
Off later on to try and find wrist support thingers, just to see if they help a bit.
No kitten that I've been made aware of, and the boss is being awesome and feeding my fish.
Came home form work on Friday unable to type and having all sorts of fun seeing. Hands/wrists/fingers in angony, eyes being special. Hands/wrists/fngers sore all weekedn, to the point where I had trouble lifting a soup sppoon on Sunday night. Yesterday was off work with the hands, same with today. Hurts a bit to type, though not as bad as Friady.
Yesterday, went and saw doctor. Hate scales. Hate that I'm gaining weight at a rapid rate of knots. He's taken me off the the Imuran to see if that gfets rid of the daily headaches. Hand pain could also be related so we'll see. He wanted to up the pred as well, but decided to wait and see. If pain still exists in two weeks I'll be off to visit an arthitis person. Fun! < / sarcasm >. Didn't feel dizzy/nauseas this morning. Interesting. No Imuran = no dizzy/nausea. Did have a headache though. :(
Off later on to try and find wrist support thingers, just to see if they help a bit.
No kitten that I've been made aware of, and the boss is being awesome and feeding my fish.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Logic occurs occasionally!
I haven't really said much of value lately, have I? Haven't really been feeling that fantastic either though, today's probably my first day of very vaguely normal headspace in a week or two.
Crohn's wise, I'm utterly over it. Fed up to the eyeballs and just want it to go the hell away. Still not quite comprehending the "This is the problem, there's no cure" thing, though now when those thoughts roll through my mind it genuinely feels as though I've smacked myself up against a brick wall, as opposed to the previous drowning in the middle of the ocean with nothing to grab on to. Still having shockers of days, just falling apart and struggling a lot in trying to pull myself back together.
Pain wise, I'm getting headaches every day which require pain meds. Also the apparently arthritic pain keeps rocking up, mostly in my finger, wrists, knee and hip. Am also getting abdominal pain every day, it's just a lottery as to whether it'll be there all day or whether it'll wait off until the evening, and also as to which specific point it'll be (I've worked out there's five places, and a combination of any or all of the above). Then there's the general tummy ache that's all over (much rarer than the abdo pain), and then there's the "I've been shitting liquid all day" tummy and back pain (so much fun, but at least rarer than the general tummy pain).
Side effects: Extremely tired. And I mean extremely. Suffer from chronic fatigue as a result of glandular fever/mono a few years back. Managed to get on top of that with Bowen therapy (seriously, a godsend, try it!), but now the fatigue is just as bad, if not worse (thanks Imuran!). Not to mention nausea and dizziness.
Also still getting funny vision/trouble focusing, the odd chest pain (pick a side), vagueness, the shakes, and random cramping sensations. Still phoning the doctor weekly to find out if the Imuran is killing my liver (it's not, and while I think of it I did get to yay about not having diabetes [go me!]), still getting weekly blood tests. Go to see doctor next Monday again. Bah humbug. Just more time, and more money that I've got to somehow find.
Food: Keeping up the dairy intake, particularly milk, seeing as it seems to be going okay with me (possibly giving me gas and a rumbly tummy, but not shooting straight through which is fantastic). I like my bones not breaking thanks! Quiche is going well, so one of those gets had of a morning as a rule. Oats are also awesome (when I'm not randomly dropping the bowl). Red Rooster sadly still remains the demon in disguise.
In completely different news. My fish are being fish (shock horror!). And are currently expecting me to feed them (I think!). I love my little black one! It's cute, and has boggly eyes. *cuteness goes here* There's still no kitten in my bottom drawer, and sadly the two at the pet shop were sold on the weekend so there goes getting one of them and putting it in there. :P
I am in possession of my Firefly dvds again, so I'm back to getting my kicks from that. Also going through many of the books that I've started reading then stopped and am getting time to read them. My evenings exist of getting home, having a drink, having dinner, going to bed and reading for half hour or so, clonking out stone cold/thrashing and crashing for hours until I fall into a fitful sleep (the meds like to vary it for me :S). I'm such a boring person.
Crohn's wise, I'm utterly over it. Fed up to the eyeballs and just want it to go the hell away. Still not quite comprehending the "This is the problem, there's no cure" thing, though now when those thoughts roll through my mind it genuinely feels as though I've smacked myself up against a brick wall, as opposed to the previous drowning in the middle of the ocean with nothing to grab on to. Still having shockers of days, just falling apart and struggling a lot in trying to pull myself back together.
Pain wise, I'm getting headaches every day which require pain meds. Also the apparently arthritic pain keeps rocking up, mostly in my finger, wrists, knee and hip. Am also getting abdominal pain every day, it's just a lottery as to whether it'll be there all day or whether it'll wait off until the evening, and also as to which specific point it'll be (I've worked out there's five places, and a combination of any or all of the above). Then there's the general tummy ache that's all over (much rarer than the abdo pain), and then there's the "I've been shitting liquid all day" tummy and back pain (so much fun, but at least rarer than the general tummy pain).
Side effects: Extremely tired. And I mean extremely. Suffer from chronic fatigue as a result of glandular fever/mono a few years back. Managed to get on top of that with Bowen therapy (seriously, a godsend, try it!), but now the fatigue is just as bad, if not worse (thanks Imuran!). Not to mention nausea and dizziness.
Also still getting funny vision/trouble focusing, the odd chest pain (pick a side), vagueness, the shakes, and random cramping sensations. Still phoning the doctor weekly to find out if the Imuran is killing my liver (it's not, and while I think of it I did get to yay about not having diabetes [go me!]), still getting weekly blood tests. Go to see doctor next Monday again. Bah humbug. Just more time, and more money that I've got to somehow find.
Food: Keeping up the dairy intake, particularly milk, seeing as it seems to be going okay with me (possibly giving me gas and a rumbly tummy, but not shooting straight through which is fantastic). I like my bones not breaking thanks! Quiche is going well, so one of those gets had of a morning as a rule. Oats are also awesome (when I'm not randomly dropping the bowl). Red Rooster sadly still remains the demon in disguise.
In completely different news. My fish are being fish (shock horror!). And are currently expecting me to feed them (I think!). I love my little black one! It's cute, and has boggly eyes. *cuteness goes here* There's still no kitten in my bottom drawer, and sadly the two at the pet shop were sold on the weekend so there goes getting one of them and putting it in there. :P
I am in possession of my Firefly dvds again, so I'm back to getting my kicks from that. Also going through many of the books that I've started reading then stopped and am getting time to read them. My evenings exist of getting home, having a drink, having dinner, going to bed and reading for half hour or so, clonking out stone cold/thrashing and crashing for hours until I fall into a fitful sleep (the meds like to vary it for me :S). I'm such a boring person.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Rant
So over being sick and sore all the time! And I'm so over the stinking side effects! The meds are meant to make me better, not hurt me, and make me feel sicker, and make me tired so everything seems worse, and feck with my head. I've had enough!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Bad day, and it's barely started.
So today started with me waking up at 5:20. I spend the next half an hour glaring at the clock, before switching the alarm to off (set to go at 6:00) and staggering downstairs.
After moving all the crap in front of my med box, I popped the gazillion pills I now take before attempting to sort breakfast and something for lunch.
Sorted breakfast to the point of getting the porridge out of the microwave, before promptly dropping the entire lot on the floor. No idea how this happened as was holding the bowl rather well, or at least I was until it was on the floor. Upside? The bowl didn't break. Downside? It looked like puke on the floor, which was oh so fantastic seeing as I was somewhat nauseous by then. And I had to clean it up. Starch = mopping floor. No energy, wasn't happening. Will happen at some point, either me or Dad. Spent a while trying to get my head around how I'm meant to safely drive to work when I can't even carry a bowl of porridge from the microwave to the cupboard, then realised I was running late and hadn't eaten breakfast...... And the morning has spiralled from there.
Late getting in car, realised I needed fuel. Was driving when my phone started ringing so madly scrambled to pull over and answer. Missed the call.
Eventually made it to work, where I am tired and grumpy and have a sore throat and my fingers ache as well as my jaw, and knee, and leg. Did I mention I have a sore on my leg that keeps getting worse because the seam rubs on it all day? Headache. Grumpy. Tired.
I'm over today.
After moving all the crap in front of my med box, I popped the gazillion pills I now take before attempting to sort breakfast and something for lunch.
Sorted breakfast to the point of getting the porridge out of the microwave, before promptly dropping the entire lot on the floor. No idea how this happened as was holding the bowl rather well, or at least I was until it was on the floor. Upside? The bowl didn't break. Downside? It looked like puke on the floor, which was oh so fantastic seeing as I was somewhat nauseous by then. And I had to clean it up. Starch = mopping floor. No energy, wasn't happening. Will happen at some point, either me or Dad. Spent a while trying to get my head around how I'm meant to safely drive to work when I can't even carry a bowl of porridge from the microwave to the cupboard, then realised I was running late and hadn't eaten breakfast...... And the morning has spiralled from there.
Late getting in car, realised I needed fuel. Was driving when my phone started ringing so madly scrambled to pull over and answer. Missed the call.
Eventually made it to work, where I am tired and grumpy and have a sore throat and my fingers ache as well as my jaw, and knee, and leg. Did I mention I have a sore on my leg that keeps getting worse because the seam rubs on it all day? Headache. Grumpy. Tired.
I'm over today.
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