That's the spirit!

"Do not go gentle into that good night" - Dylan Thomas

Used to live by that. Recent events have seen me forget it. Then I remembered it again. This isn't me. This disease, the meds, the symptoms, the side effects. They aren't me. They are not even the new me. I like the old me. I didn't give it permission to run away and leave me alone to deal with this. I didn't give this disease permission to take over my body. So it can feck the hell off. Right now. It can go away and let me be me.

I will exercise. I will lose weight. I will be fit.
I will enjoy going shopping.
I will enjoy eating food worry-free.
I will be pain-free.
I will be independent.
I will be happy.
I will be strong.
I will be me.


Meanwhile. Have the shakes, have done pretty much continually for the last 24 hours. Couldn't serve up the vegies last night because they kept falling off the serving spoon I was shaking enough. Still there when I woke up this morning.

Also, rather bad headaches. Can't tell if they're from the meds, from the cold I've got, or if they're the headaches I get for a few days/weeks before I get cluster headaches (yep, I get the joy of them among other things). Muddling through with pain killers, although yesterday thought I'd see how it went (if it would go away after awhile on it's own or not). Bad choice, doped myself up when I got home from work and tried to deal.

Rather a bit more tired than usual, but I'm awake (ish) and alive, so shouldn't complain too much. And besides, my job doesn't require me to be awake as such in order to do it properly, just pretend good enough and get the work done properly and it's all fine.

Have a friend's 21st to go to this weekend, we're booked in at an Indian restaurant. I love spicy things, and I've heard it's nice. Here's to hoping things sit well. Then the weekend after I've got another friend's birthday and we're headed for a Thai restaurant. Again, love the stuff, just hoping it goes well. Birthdays and stomach wise. :)

Also aiming to take the folks to a pub for dinner this weekend. Really nice food for (in my opinion) very good prices, particularly for the size of the meal. Hoping I'm awake enough/don't have a headache. Also hoping the meal sits well there too.

Grapes are definitely a no go. Peanuts, possibly sit alright. Quiche is a God. Seriously.

Have began considering the rental market. Was/am a very proud creature, and previously have not wanted to rent as I see no point in paying off someone else's property when I own none. My pride just wouldn't let me do it. It would sit there going "No! You will save money and get your own place!" and I'd just agree with it. After all, I do want my own place. But with the old hag, the pride hasn't so much disappeared, it's just been battered and bruised into submission. This is a good thing! It means while it's being quiet and sulking in a corner, the rest of me can pounce and take control and get out of my folks' hair. And piece together my sanity again! :D Also figure that with the extra stuff I'd be doing (ie, cooking, cleaning, etc) I wouldn't have time to let things play on my mind and send me into a tail spin. So basically, independence, freedom, and maintaining my sanity/mental health all in one. Yay! Now, to find that rental property.....

Mum bought me a mug yesterday. One of the knitting ones that I like. I got one in the series a while ago, but they're clearing them now, and mum was in the shop and bought one for me. It's now sitting next to the work computer with the very cold remnants of this morning's chai tea in it.

I bought mum and dad a present yesterday too, a bottle of Red TR2. Rather nice wine that they both like. To say thanks for everything, and sorry for the shite (pardon the pun).

And I've noticed recently I tend to be using this as a blog for almost everything as opposed to just the Crohn's. *shrugs* Eh. Guess you can't separate it from everything afterall.

No meows.