So I guess I covered a bit yesterday huh. Don't usually write that much in a blog. One thing I think I failed somewhat on is what the hell Crohn's is. I mean sure, I linked to a few pages, but that's all technical gabble and stuff. So, my summary of Crohn's and how I interpret it is as follows:
Crohn's is a cronic, incurable albeit treatable, autoimmune disease in which it appears the immune system attacks the intestines or some bacteria within them causing inflamation and ulcers. The inflamation can inhibit absorbtion of vitamins and minerals, as well as fluids, and the ulcers can bleed. People with Crohn's can become anaemic and also lack other important vitamins.
Hopefully that sums it up for anyone who reads.
As for why I'm doing this blog, as I mentioned yesterday it may help maintain some normality in my life, but one day it may also be of some help to others who are diagnosed. At the moment I'm really struggling to come to terms with it and what it means for the rest of my life. Not to mention a lot of what I've read and the experiences I'm already having with the meds are scaring the life out of me.
I'm wanting to link to this blog from a few places but in a way I'm worried about it. There's a lot of info I'm putting in here and not holding back on and I'm thinking that if I know my friends read it then I'll be more hesitant in what I write. I don't talk about emotions well, and at the moment I can pretend that no one reads this and that I'm just typing, not talking. Heck, even if people leave comments asking questions I can just pretend I'm reading a book to them and try to answer the best I can. It's just knowing that people may treat me differently or take pity on me that makes me shudder. I don't want pity. I just want to share what's going on and be able to do so in a way that I'm comfortable with.
To my friends, I love you all dearly, but if you leave any comments here in the form of "OMG, are you okay, can I give you a hug?" I believe I may have to get some cranky on your butts. Sure, ask away about stuff, but I'm still me. Independant and proud. Give me a hug if you think I need it, but don't throw sympathy at me. I don't want it.
Anyway. Spent last night tossing and turning, waking up every hour or two. Thank the gods it's the weekend. Woke up this morning with my right wrist and fingers aching. Seriously, every single joint in my right hand just gone. Which is an incredible pain in the butt considering I'm right handed. Go to write, struggle. Go to draw, struggle. Go to crochet or knit or take photos, struggle. *sigh* Also have massive big black bags under my eyes.
Was pleased to note last night before bed though that despite feeling incredibly fat and bloated already, the muscles that I've been attempting to work on for the past few months haven't disappeared as yet. There's still hope! Maybe....
Tired. So, so tired. At least today I can curl up in a corner if I want to and sleep and not worry about my job.
Anyway. Coherant blather is going out the window, so I think I'll leave today's update as is. Will try and update daily, though it could be as little as weekly that I actually get to it.
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