So yeah. Starting to fall apart a little at the seems right now. My brother's birthday's in 10 days. Despite that being a fair few days, most of those are weekdays which I work on, and next weekend is Easter, so that wipes that out, which left today for finding him his birthday present. Oh boy did I have fun. Grumpier and grumpier, ended up trying not to cry in the ladies at one point, just overwhelmed and such. It seemed like nothing would go right, and that everyone was out to either run into me with things/themselves, or get in my way. It got to the point where at the third mall I went to in an attempt to find this present a little boy of maybe 4 or 5 got chastised by his mum for just about crashing headlong into me, and he wouldn't move to let me past, and I just felt myself sag. I must have looked a sight, what with the sagging (which I'm sure was visable) and the black bags under my eyes, because despite not having the energy to say it was okay, and then probably appearing rather rude in just shoving past them to get out, nothing was said to me about it. I was just too exhausted and strained to care anymore. Did however achieve finding the present.
Woke up sore again today, mostly the right wrist and fingers, though the right elbow and right side of my jaw's been working on getting sore the past few days too. Left hand fingers went today. Hello pain! I so enjoy your company.... Disorientation still present. Trouble focusing getting worse? Check. Emotional wreck? Yup. Roid rage? Kicking in and amping it up. Skin is itching like crazy! Just the past day or two, maybe three at most, I'm itching as though I've been attacked by a swarm of mozzies. No hives or anything, just itchy. And afterwards it's obvious where I've scratched, there's all these.... tiny blood blisters? I'm not sure, they fade and go away after a bit, and they're small, so I'm not hugely worried. Did read that I could bruise rather easy with the meds, and in all honesty they could just be tiny bruises. Which is still not pleasant, but hey. As long as they don't hurt, I'm not gonna complain too badly. Getting horribly hungry all the time, and craving random crap, like ice cream. Don't get me wrong, ice cream is awesome, I just never crave it and it's rarely in the house. And I wasn't even hungry at the time! I just felt as though I needed that temperature and texture in my mouth. Drove myself slowly insane with that until I had a glass of apple juice, followed by a hot bread roll with butter, followed by a glass of milk. Made me feel slightly better, but then had stomach pain and spent a while trying to get comfy with that. Bah humbug with cravings!
One thing I have noticed, my psoraisis is getting better. I've had it since I was nine, so for twelve odd years now. Started with just one or two patches on my scalp and has since spread to the rest of my scalp, back of neck, behind my ears, on my eyelid, under my arms, near my belly button, my legs, my feet and my ankle, and occasionally on my hands. Read somewhere that sometimes it can be linked with Crohn's, and it has faded dramatically, not bright red anymore, just looks like faded scars, and it's definitely not oozing or bleeding or stinging like it used to. Mayhaps the steroids are good for something? Can't believe I just said that......
Do not enjoy the enemas. Thought the stomach pain could be because I was having them just after dinner, so am now having them before dinner. Pain still happens, but is admittedly not hanging around as long. Is possibly easier to deal with then too because despite being somewhat dead to the world, I'm not as exhausted as I am after dinner. I think tiredness plays a lot into pain/discomfort levels and my tolerance of things. I'm not very tolerant of things I don't like. Mind, first box of these enema things is now empty. Toying with whether to throw it away, or save them all up and throw them at the doctor (they're lightweight cardboard, they wouldn't hurt him, I just really don't like them).
And I really hope you enjoyed this post because I thought I'd just lost everything I'd typed. Over and out and goodnight.
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