Dear Old Hag, please go away.

Ah life.  Where would we be without it apart from enjoying ourselves?

Ahem.  I believe I left you just before I started pooping green waterfalls, so I will take it from there.  Spent the evening pooping green waterfalls and was nill by mouth from midnight until the time of my being knocked unconscious and having things shoved in places they should not be shoved.  I had been told to present to the hospital at 9:30 (despite the doc telling me to arrange a time sometime between 7 and 9), and had been booked in for a 10 am time slot.  At about quarter to one a somewhat tired, cold, hungry, thirsty, contankerous and downright unbearable me was finally knocked out.  Usually scenario of farting like a hippo upon waking up in recovery before being wheeled out into the post recovery area to be treated to sprite and sandwiches.  Made from bread.  Made from wheat.  :/  The sprite admittedly was very good.  The sandwiches remained in their packaging.  Also adding to the usual scenario while in recovery was the doctor coming around and talking to me the moment my eyes had fluttered open (and then promptly closed again) under the assumption that open eyes equates to consciousness.  Hate to tell them, but it really doesn't.  Was driven home by mum, ate a rissole and watched Sherlock Holmes (which actually wasn't quite so bad).

Spent a few days afterwards in increasing degrees of agony, ending with me curling up in a ball and having a bit of a cry at work.  Settled down for a few days and seems to be randomly attacking me.  Since the procedure, have seen my doc (5:30 appointment, I got in there about 6, and didn't get out until around 7:30....) and shock horror was told that there's inflamation present in the terminal ileum.  Really?  Inflamation with Crohn's?  Never would have guessed.  On the bright side, to qualify for Humira you have to have a CDAI of over 300.  Even after they'd taken 10 points off me for being fat (I weigh 75kilos, most things say I should weigh around 55, however the thing for Humira says I should weigh 49.  Imagine if they'd seen me when I ballooned at 95!) I still came out at 388.  Application for Humira is submitted!  Only thing the GI's not sure about, is when I was on Imuran, I had to stop taking it because I was getting crappy headaches.  The government recognises headaches as side effects of the drug, however they do not recognise it was a reason to stop taking it (and still being able to qualify for Humira).  GI said he'll try his best anyway though.  Here's to hoping!  If not, the new reumy (who I see tomorrow arvo) seems fairly confident he can get me there with the joint pain.

Oh, and apparently my liver's still erring a little on the stuffed side, so I'm being sent to get an ultrasound done of it.

In non-Crohn's news, am working.  Well, I get up, drive to a place of work, and get paid for the day.  Am however not doing a damned thing, and I'm starting to get tetchy about it.  I want to work so the memories will leave me alone.  Sitting in a chair doing nothing for eight hours a day is not achieving this.  Hopefully, they'll realise fairly soon that they're paying me to do nothing and will give me something to do.  Oh, also don't believe I mentioned that it took the head office two weeks to arrange a computer for me, as a result of HR and IT arguing over who's job it was to issue me with an employee number.  Like the people, like the place.  Just want some work.

Have been attacking more yarn projects (again, can't show here because people who are receiving said things read this blog.  :P) and been thoroughly enjoying my books.  Rather disappointed in the bookshops though, because I've been looking for particular books for some years now, and they've only just got the series in that I want just when I really can't afford it (paying parents back for stuff, various med bills coming in, and saving for bigger stuff).  Cranky aimed at you A&R!

Fish are being fish.  The redcap is now back in the old fish bowl that they were all in originally, however still in isolation.  It became evident that the tank it was in had sprung a small leak and had been slowly leaking since being filled up a few months ago.  Lump on its side is now looking more like a wart than a blister, so I'm fairly sure the poor thing has a tumor as opposed to anything curable.  The other two are going alright, although the tank's green again for a little while, just not sure if the moor has white spots on him (again!).

Oh, will try and throw a link to this up the side somewhere, but for now, have a link to my Deviant Art account.  A lot of my photography goes up there, as well as food and yarn stuff I've made. 

http://lady-dao.deviantart.com/

Hah, the joy of it.

Off to dope myself on the first dose of poop liquid in about half hour or so.  I expect about two or three hours after that when I take the big lot is about when I'll become somewhat incapacitated for the evening.  Books are stacked and ready, sports drinks are chilling in the fridge, and right now, I'm going to go and make the most of not pooping by watching a dvd (and also helping mum cook curry for tomorrow night's dinner).  :D

Hope everyone is well.


PS-  I HATE FLAGYL!!!  Can't stand the taste in my mouth right now and not being able to get rid of it.

Stupid Old Hag

Happy birthday to my goldfishies!!!!  :P  Didn't get around to making them a cake, but will as soon as I have the chance/can eat cake again.

Now to non fish news.

Started my new job this Monday.  Week one down!  Struggling a bit, really know nothing about the industry, or the role really, and I still don't understand half the stuff I need to know and the woman who is teaching me the stuff is going away for a possible three months, two at the minimum.  Will soldier on though.  Need the money, need to keep a job.

Also went and saw the new reumatologist Monday arvo.  Took blood test results from the last 12 months as well as the x-rays that the idiot doctor did last year.  Finally, a doctor that can restore a little bit of faith in me.  He rang my GI while I was there, and brought my appointment forward with him to the next day, and they're pushing for the Humira.  Reumy is confident that if the GI can't get it with the Crohn's, he can get it with the joint pain.  Maybe there are gods.....

As mentioned, saw the GI on Tuesday arvo.  I'd had a cold recently, and also stomach pain.  Wasn't sure if it was from the cold, or from damage from the ibuprofen, or from Crohn's.  Stopped taking the nurofen, and hello liquid.  Stomach pain is quite severe sometimes, and everything is going straight through, to the point where recognition of the last meal is incredibly easy.  Food just isn't being digested, and is very obvious as to what it is later on.  Slime is back, and a teeny bit of blood.  It's the pain that's worrying me the most though.  Also have absolutely no appetite.  Only eating to keep everyone else happy really.

This weekend I get to undertake a delightful diet again, only to be knocked out and have things shoved in all sorts of delightful places on Monday.  For those new to my blog, I refer you now to the first or second entry of this blog, one of them details the delights of this and saves me redoing it.

Also been put on Flagyl for a while, just incase all the Crohn's symptoms are not actually the old hag, but an infection instead.  Rather ticked off about this, because the doctor admitted there's a 99.99$ chance it's the Crohn's flaring, but just to be on the safe side, I get to miss out on my stress relief (aka a nice bottle of Bundy rum) for the next week or two.  Bah humbug.

Had blood tests done again the other arvo.  Had to get jabbed three times.  My good vein decided to go to sleep again, so they had to use the other arm, and then they forgot to get some for some particular tests so had to jab me again.  I think they were rather inexperienced 'cause they kept jiggling the needle (probably unintentionally) and so it hurt and bled around the needle while they did it.  Now also have some lovely bruises and track marks on both arms......

Also have to go and get chest xrays to confirm I've not had TB before.  Apparently just some pre-Humira check or something.

I exist.

Blergh.  Dying from the plague, or at least some doppleganger of it.  Went and got the 'flu shot the other week and have been slowly deteriorating ever since.  Also on the medical side of things, I have an appointment to see a new rheumatologist this coming Monday arvo, so hopefully things'll start going right huh?  Am also needing to see the skin doc again.  The psoraisis is flaring like a bitch - itching, stinging, burning, weeping and oozing to the point of making clothes wet, and it's got the whole rotting flesh smell going on too.  Maybe if the docs work together they can work something out?  Eg - the humira that treats the Crohn's, and the joint pain, and the psoraisis.......

Went and got myself on welfare benefits.  Got my first payment this previous Monday and then yesterday needed to ring up and try to cancel said payments.  Got offered a job!!!  Working with a massive international mining company starting Monday.  They even seem flexible enough to deal with the doc appointments!  Yay for awesome employers!

In a fish update, I'm down to the three goldfish.  The last catfish keeled over and died a few weeks ago now and I'm still scratching my head as to why.  But, the goldfish aren't far out from their first birthday (14th May!) and yes, I'm going to be the crazy pet owner and make them a birthday cake.  :D

Been working on various little projects to try and keep my sanity, when my fingers will allow it, photos will appear eventually.  Promise.  :)

Hope everyone is well/recovering from any bad stuff.

Bruised butt? Bring it on!

Huh.  So it seems that not only do I get spam in English in my inbox offering to make my assumed penis 'absolutely massive to wow the ladies' (just for the record, the last time I checked I was well and truly female), I'm now getting similar spam in Chinese on my blog.  Dear Idiots, you're just ever so slightly sucktacular.  Word verification now on.

Ahem.  A blog.  :)

Is it possible to bruise the inside of your butt?  In the last few weeks I've gone from liquid or normal, to lumps of cement.  The other day, that delightful "You need to go yesterday" sensation occurred, so off I bolted.  And then it got stuck.  Me sitting there going bright red in the face and getting a lovely headache from the straining and The Lump just stuck there.  It wasn't going out, it couldn't be pinched off like usual, and it sure as heck wasn't going back in.  Eventually, The Lump moved, and I thought all was good.  Until I had the urge to go again.  It moved, but oh Gods it hurt!  No blood, so I'm guessing no cracks (pun not intended), but really.  Is it possible to bruise the inside of your butt?

Pain relief is proving rather difficult lately.  The stuff I take has ibuprofen (which I know is bad, but the docs don't seem to wan't to give me anything else) and codeine in it.  There's been a change in the system now so that from the 1st of May, if you want to buy a box with more than 30 in it, you need a prescription.  Now some may say 30 is all well and good, but here's the catch.  You can only buy one box, once every five days.  I go through eight a day, so I'm a little bit screwed.  About the only way around it is to hit up all the different chemists in the area, and that's gonna take a fair bit of time.  So I think ultimately I'm just going to have to throw a tantrum back at the doctor when he doesn't want to prescribe me anything, and he's just going to have to refer me to a different rhumatologist.  Something needs doing and if I can't access the meds that make things slightly better then I think some heads need to roll.  I'm the patient, damnit!  The whole gig goes, I give you money, you make me better.  Not I give you money and you ignore me.

All ranted out.  :)

Still unemployed, possibly hitting up a government agency thing tomorrow to see if there's any welfare payments that I qualify for and if they can help me find work.  Tried some recruitment agencies, but it seems the Crohn's could be an issue for them (as in everything was going fine and great guns until that was mentioned).  Unfortunately, nothing to prove that it's discrimination, so I've got nothing to throw at them.

Trying to keep my sanity through various methods.  Long drives are unfortunately not an option at the moment, they seem to land me in a fair deal of pain.  I'm managing sometimes to get a bit of work done on the blanket I'm making, and I'm chewing my way through the books I've got piled next to my bed.

I've also taken to collecting paint chips.  Not as crazy as it sounds!  Five figures in the red, no job, no money, but my goal is to start investing in property, starting first with my own home.  Paint chips keep my head up by reminding me of all the pretty colours that are going on the walls when I get the place.  And then that sparks ideas for the floor (polished floorboards, which will be so much easier on my back than carpet when it comes to cleaning) and the kitchen (massive old country style) and the backyard (bring on the chook shed and veggie patch!).  So yeah.  Weird yes, but not completely insane.  :)

Oh!  Fish update!  Still have all three goldfish and the remaining catfish.  Still in their craptacular tank, bar my little redcap.  It seems like he has some sort of cyst on his side and because I'm not sure if it's something contagious he's been in an isolation tank for a little while.  The cyst doesn't overly seem to be bothering him, and I think because of the extra space they all have now, they're all growing.  Not quite so tiny anymore, but still what the fish stores are selling as small.  New fishtank will come with money which will come with a job, so one day.  :)

Also thankyou to all for the support.  Each new day is another foot infront of the other.

Well shit.

So it turns out my brother didn't have epilepsy after all.  They worked out it was an infection and massive pressure in the brain that was causing the seizures.  Sadly after 4 ops and around 10 days in ICU, he passed away on 13 March.

Kitchen fail

Also, forgot to mention, attempted making a cheesey veg bake.  From a packet I will add.  The picture on the front of the packet looked all nice and creamy and cheesey and gooey and altogether just terrific so I was really looking forward to it.  Followed the instructions, and didn't worry about taking photos of my soup.  Yes, soup.  It's about the only way I can describe it.  It still tasted pretty good (though I think the old hag might be disagreeing) but it was in no way a cheesey vegetable bake.  Yay for stuffing up packet mix food!  :D

Eh.

Struggling somewhat to even crawl out of bed the last few days, but I'm managing and thought maybe it's time for an update again.

Main news involves my brother.  He was born with brain damage (not sure if I've mentioned that previously or not), and had a rather horrid seizure on Christmas eve.  Well, things went okay with that for a bit, but he's been in hospital for about two weeks now, and he's to the point where he's either near comatose in sleep, throwing up, having a seizure or crying about a headache.  The doctors diagnosed him as epileptic a few days ago and put him on anti-seizure stuff, but so far it doesn't really seem to be working (what, with the continued seizures) and it seems like the docs are scratching their heads as to what exactly is going on.  It's taking it's toll on the rest of us, but fingers crossed something happens and things start improving.

Living on red bull the last week or so.  I know it's not exactly healthy, but seeing as it seems to be working I'll keep drinking it.  Just wish I could deal without it.  It's letting me get to the gym at least, and do the necessities at home, so yay.

In response to Lindsey's query about my fish, the garbage disposal units are going great guns.  Sadly, I found another one of my catfish dead at about the same time as the ambos were carting my brother out the front door.  One catfish left, hoping this one lasts.  They're still in their piss poor pathetic excuse for a tank, and the filter isn't doing anything for them, but will hopefully get a new tank setup worked out soon (soon being by the end of the year).  The goldfish'll be a year old in May, or at least I'll have had them a year.  Doesn't seem like so long though.

Applying for jobs lately, but not having much luck.  I'm either being ignored or getting letters that say I'm not good enough.  Hopefully though I'll get something soon, before the savings run out completely.  Also started a medical terminology/admin course last Saturday.  It goes for four weeks, just on the Saturdays, and I'm kinda hoping that'll get my toe in the door somewhere.  Gives me more options either way.

Have an update.

Oh wow, so last time I left you with me heading for Canberra.  Feels like forever ago.  Have a blog update!

Canberra.
I've been to Canberra once before.  It was when I was 11 or 12 and for a school camp, though camp's probably the wrong word seeing as there were no tents or wilderness involved.  So seeing as it was a good ten years ago or more, I barely remember any of it, so for me this time was fantastic.  Yay for exploring!  Got a satnav for Chrissy off the folks so wasn't worried about getting lost, which, looking back, it would have been somewhat hilarious really if I had of done.  The drive down was fantastic.  5 hours or so or freeways and highways and I found it to be a much nicer drive than the one I normally do when I head north.  Stopped in a small town called Berrima on the way.  Fantastic old town with old buildings.  I love old things and history so I was having a blast.  Had lunch at maccas in Goulbourn, and stuffed myself with Imodium (which I continued to live off for the next day or so).  I knew my grandmother had lived there when she was a little girl, so obviously my great grandmother had lived there too.  What I didn't realise and found out after I'd got home was that my great great grandmother had lived there, so probably about the time the town was founded (ie, a long long time ago).  Grandma remembers the street they lived in and apparently the old dairy is still out the back, so next time I'm down that way I might drive past for a squiz.  Can't resist personal history.  :)  Anyway, made Canberra and it started to pour rain.  Obviously does so a fair bit because it's a heck of a lot greener there than it is where I am.  Quite lovely.  Got to the War Memorial about 2:30/3ish and stayed until it closed.  Didn't get to see everything, though did get to see the bugler at the end of the day.  The memorial is quite close to my mate's place, so only took a few minutes, even in the 5 o'clock traffic to get there.  Thoroughly enjoyed the company of some lovely people and even managed a bit of sleep.

I had been meaning to stay until the Sunday, what with the housewarming being on the Saturday, however woke up in a fair degree of pain, both joints and stomach, and somewhat exhausted (when I'm not in my bed I toss and turn and wake up continually, so any sleep I get is very interrupted), so around lunchtime on Saturday I headed home.  Took a week for the pain to eventually settle down to normal, but it was really good to get down there.  Hoping next time I'll be a bit healthier and actually be able to stay long enough for a proper catch up.


Not Canberra.
Healthwise, I'm alive.  All the scary blood tests came back clear, which is fantastic, however I'm still exhausted, and have been getting horrid headaches for about 2 weeks now.  My doctor doesn't seem phased by either, though I would appreciate being able to wake up and have some energy and a head that doesn't hate me.  I'm also no longer seeing my rheumatologist.  I'm completely over having him change his diagnosis (now it's apparently inflamed bursae) based on stuff that's obviously only in his immagination because he sure as heck isn't doing any tests or anything.  Also fed up with having to hand over $115 every time I see him, only to be told to do the same things (which interestingly when you read about inflamed bursae, he's telling me to do the opposite to the standard treatments), when I'm unemployed and running very low on funds.  Obviously I need something done because I can't keep going on with my joints randomly spazzing out on me, so next time I see the GP I'll get him to refer me to someone else for a second opinion.  Maybe then I'll start getting some answers.  The psoraisis is also driving me stir crazy so I'm going to see if something can be done about that too.  Sorry if I sound whingey at all, I just need to vent a little.

Managed to make it to the Craft Fair again this year.  Almost regretted it entirely as it was the same as last year (too many stalls all crammed together, the same stalls as last year, very rude and pushy people (not the stall holders, they were good), and over the top prices.  Only thing that really made it worth it was the stall with the fake but brilliant Pandora beads.  I refuse to pay $100 per bead, so if I can get pretty things for a dollar, I'll pay it.  Bought $74 worth of stuff including beads and another bracelet, and got a discount so only paid $60.  Yes, I know, no job and I whinge about spending money, but it's pretty and makes me feel happy, and it can all be changed daily to go with whatever I'm wearing, so I figure it's fairly good value for money.

Have also cooked a few bits and pieces recently, so I'll throw so pics up when I find them again.  They like hiding on the computer.  :)  Oh!  And same applies to some little crochet amigurumi critters I've been making.  They keep me sane, and they're cute.  Photos to come soon.

Anyway, hope everyone is well.

Time for a quickie...

I'm alive!  Promise!  Just forgetting to blog/having nothing to really blog about.

Local time it's about 10pm, and I've gotta be up before 6 in the morning so I'll keep it brief and fill in the details some other time.  Also had a few wines, so if the spelling is off/I don't sound normal, that's my excuse.

Crohn's = not killing me, which I'm thankful for.
Fructose = causing problems when I don't avoid high doseages.  It's slightly less forgiving than before.
Arthritis/Arthralga/Joint Pain = Still there occasionally.  Enough to make me whinge and random enough to be annoying.
Chronic Fatigue = Flared with a vengeance.  Bring on the Red Bull!
Psoraisis = Flared under my arms and on my scalp so am occasionally itching in a monkey-like fashion.  I'm sure this appears odd though amusing to anyone watching.

Other news:
I have joined a gym, Curves to be precise.  Enjoying it, surprisingly, and after less than two weeks am already seeing benefits.
Will be in the nation's capital, Canberra, for the weekend.  Heading down for a housewarming, but also to have a look at some (what I would call) touristy places, moreso the Australian War Memorial, and Lake Burley Griffin.
Also finally finished a project yesterday that I've been working on for nearly 18 months.  No photos or descriptions as it is a present for some friends and they may read this before they get it.  Photos will ensue soon.

Hope everyone is well and that the old hag is behaving for you all.