So today's a year since my brother died. Had a bit of a meltdown earlier, now just recovering from downing a few glasses of Southern a tad quicker than usual.
I've had people tell me that time makes it easier. How much time? A year hasn't done much if I'm quite honest. Still hurts like hell, still mad as crap at the doctor that caused it. And just little things can trigger me off. Like the other night I started my photography course and the bloke teaching it starting discussing filters and such. Jogged the memory of my 21st, sitting in my brother's hospital room, unwrapping filters for my camera while he recovered from the anesthetic and an op. Don't quite know how I managed to make it home that night without writing off the car or a few others. And today, looking at fishtanks to try and get my mind off it and finding one with red sides. His favourite colour was red. Or hearing someone rev the daylights out of a car and knowing he never got to drive, despite being the biggest revhead I knew.
Eh. Figured I'd be better blogging than drinking, but I can't seem to get things out anyway. S'pose I'll try bed instead. Should be right in the morning. Kinda have to be, being Monday and all.
Hope everyone else is doing okay and that things are going to start looking up for those of you that I know are having some hard times right now, I know I'm not the only one.